RUMOURS
Rumours are rife that the end is in sight for Brookside. It must be true, she says, with her tongue firmly planted in her cheek, because it was in The Daily Star. There have been various reasons attributed to these rumours, from Channel 4 sacrificing Brookside at the altar of buying The Simpsons, to the fact that Channel 4 is cash-strapped and Brookside costs too much to produce.
It’s worrying, this rumour, however much Brookside, via the voice of the ubiquitous moderator of the Official Forum, may try to deny this, it’s just a rumour that’s too recurrent NOT to take seriously. It occurs too much for there not to be an element of truth in it.
We know that Brookside’s contract was up for renewal with Channel 4 last November, but the new boss of Channel 4 put the show ‘under review’ before making a decision as to whether or not to renew the contract. This is, essentially, taking a suck-it-and-see approach, due mainly to the fact that Brookside managed to lose 500,000 viewers in 2001. So, Channel 4 are basically making Brookside prime resident of the Last Chance Saloon. Phil Redmond HAS to cut the mustard, and by cutting the mustard, I mean more people have to actually be sitting down to watch the show.
And what do we get? Week after week on the Official Forum, another long-term viewer announces publically that they’re fed up with Brookside - with the shitty acting, the abysmal writing, the discontinuity, the inattention to detail - and they’re turning off. Which means that Mr Redmond’s big design isn’t working. Is it?
Any suggestions as to how he might remedy the situation will be blatantly disregarded.
Another day begins on Brookside Close.
Ron Dixon lies listlessly in his bed.
Marty Murray pulls the curtains back from the front window at Sitcom House. Looking out, he spies something that amuses him and he calls his brass-voiced wife.
Rachel knocks again on Ron’s door, imploring him to get up.
Plank Murray enters the lounge as his father looks out the window. Marty leaves the window to go to the foot of the stairs and shout at Adele to get out of bed. Good party last night? He asks Plank in between shouting at Adele to get out of bed. Adele replies in a muffled voice that she IS out of bed.
Dire descends the stairway and stands for a moment at the bottom, also shouting at Adele. Why the stupid woman didn’t call her when she was upstairs is anyone’s guess. Marty directs Dire’s attention to the window. Speaking to Plank over his shoulder, he reckons someone upset someone else last night and points to Tim’s van. The white van is smeared with graffiti and all its tyres have been let down.
Rachel is still standing outside Ron’s door. Ron HAS to get up today, she pleads. He’s got to help her look after Josh.
Ron shouts from within that he’s simply not up to it.
Back at Sitcom House, Dire’s still exercising her vocal chords, shouting up the stairs for Adele to get out of bed. Again, Adele shouts back that she is out of bed. Pausing for a moment, Dire takes an opportunity to stir the shit for Adele to Marty. DID HE REALISE HOW LATE ADELE GOT BACK LAST NIGHT? She bellows. TWELVE THIRTY! AND WHEN SHE’S HERE, SHE’S ON THE PHONE ALL THE TIME TO THAT LAD!!!
Well, Marty sighs, better that they have a bigger phone bill than to have her out until all hours with a lad.
But Dire’s suspicious. DOES MARTY RECKON ADELE’S ... ER ... DOING ANYTHING WITH THE LAD?
Does Dire mean sex? He asks.
OOH, DIRE DOES HOPE THAT ADELE’S BEING CAREFUL ... YOU KNOW ... TAKING PRECAUTIONS.
Marty worries aloud that if he finds out that Adele’s up to having sex with Gareth, he’d be expected to go around and sort the lad out. Somehow, he laughs, he can’t quite see himself sorting a lad Gareth’s size out. Still, he wouldn’t want to see Adele go through another abortion.
Plank emerges from Sitcom House to find his friend and business partner, Tim, standing and staring with abject dismay at the state of his prized white van.
Plank wants to know how they’re supposed to get rid of the remainder of the builders’ rubbish, with four flat tyres.
Tim produces a foot pump and instructs Plank to ‘start pumping’. Plank objects that this might take an entire day.
Jessie is doing a tidy-up of Number 8, whilst Ray stands gazing out the window in the direction of Hotel Corkhill. Ray relates the previous evening’s events to Jessie, telling her how the Corkhill party seemed to send Ron over the edge. He was wittering about it being similar to what happened the night he shot Clint.
Jessie is sympathetic. Poor Ron is just mentally exhausted, she says, and that’s understandable. Maybe Ray should try to cheer Ron up.
Ray is reluctant to do so, especially, he says, since Helen is due to visit this afternoon.
Jessie asks the reason for Helen’s visit as she only visited a few days ago.
Ray groans that she’s more than likely using Ray as an excuse to visit that Corkhill. She seems to spend more time there than here anyway.
Jessie warns Ray sternly not to interfere in Helen’s personal life.
Outside, Mme Farnham seems to have made a miraculous recovery from her major abdominal surgery. She’s doing things after one week, that normally she couldn’t do until six weeks had passed. She’s driving, having been to the supermarket; and she’s lifting groceries out of the car - a definite no-no. Still, she makes a small concession to reality, and makes a little moue-ish grimace and touches her tummy.
Rachel the Dim approaches, sans enfants. (Where, one might ask, are the ubiquitous Harry, Emma and Beth? Shouldn’t Rachel be minding them? Ah, but on Brookside, children are seldom seen and never heard.)
Oooh, Rachel scolds, Jac-keh shouldna be doin tha’.
Oh, it’s nothing, Jacqui assures her, just some minor discomfort.
Ooh, Rachel asks in wonder, should Jac-keh re-all-eh be doin’ big shop? (Meaning: Pay me, Jacqui and I’ll do it for you).
Jacqui asks Rachel about Ron, and Rachel comes clean about his current conditon, telling her about the racket from the party the night before and Josh misbehaving. Rachel actually thought Josh might cheer Ron up a bit.
Jacqui’s a bit perturbed about that, especially Ron taking responsibility for looking after Josh. Why can’t Mike do something - after all, Josh is Mike’s kid?
Before she leaves, Rachel tells Jacqui that she thinks Jacqui’s re-all-eh brave, the way she’s coping after her miscarriage. If it had been Rachel, she would have been in bits. (Ah, Rachel, you loveable ignoramus, you care for children and Jacqui doesn’t).
As the two prepare to part, Sammy Rogers walks onto the Close in the background and approaches Jacqui. Jacqui almost jumps out of her skin when Sammy calls to her. Sammy apologise for shocking Jacqui, but she needs Jacqui’s advice.
Jessie is now tidying the Dixon kitchen, and she’s still lecturing a reluctant Ray about interfering with Jimmy and Helen. But, Ray protests, Jimmy’s told Helen nothing about his mental illness; and Helen has a right to know, especially if she’s contemplating beginning a relationship with this man. Why, Ray continues, his conscience would kill him if he witheld what he knew and somewhere down the road, there was trouble with Jimmy and Helen got hurt because of that. He simply couldn’t live with himself, knowing that he had known of Jimmy’s past and not divulged it.
Sammy and Jacqui are in the kitchen of Chateau Farnham, and the Farnham children have suddenly and miraculously appeared - although the question of who was minding them whilst Jacqui was out shopping will never be answered, as it’s another ‘grey area’.
Jacqui asks Sammy how she can help her, and Sammy replies that, depending on what Jacqui says today, Sammy might not be in at the Health Club for a few days.
‘Oh,’ remarks Jacqui, sarcastiaally, raising her eyebrows, ‘so it’s soom time off yer want as a favour, is it?’
Well, yes, it’s that, but it’s more than that, Sammy begins, with difficulty. She wants to go to London to visit Louise and maybe talk Louise into coming back with her. She has no objection to Louise returning to her old boarding school, now that Richard has offered to pay for her fees, but Richard is making demands - saying that Louise should spend every weekend and half of her holiday time with him. It’s not right, Sammy says. Richard isn’t even Louise’s father. She feels he’s cheating her out of her right to time with her child.
As she’s saying these things, Jacqui is doing the maternal bit of sitting on the floor, playing with Harry and Emma. She wants to ask Jacqui if it is, indeed, possible for someone to love another person’s children as much as a natural parent. Jacqui should be able to answer this question, as Richard appears to be willing to care for and look after Louise in the same way Jacqui does for Emma Farnham.
Well, yes, replies Jacqui, that IS possible. But her situation with Max was different to Sammy’s and Richard’s. She and Max life together and care for the children together.
Tim and Plank are taking turns using the exhaustive foot pump in an effort to pump up the tyres on the van. Plank wonders aloud who could have done such a thing. Surely not one of their mates. It’s a sick joke, if so.
Tim shakes his head. Most likely it was one of Jerome’s sniffy uni mates, thinking it would be funny. (Another pejorative view of students as opposed to those who aren’t).
It must still be morning on the Close, as Emily enters the Hotel Corkhill lounge, dressed in her pink top that doubles as a dress and ready for work. The lounge is a veritable tip and Emily is disgoosted. Look at the state of the place, she remarks, with disdain to the Sage, who wafts mindlessly by her, oblivious to the untidiness left as a result of last night’s party.
Oh aye, it’s in a right state, he agrees. He even suggests that he put the kettle on whilst Emily starts to clean, and he tosses her a duster. Emily is even more disgoosted.
Tim and Plank are pumping hard, remarking that they’ll each have one over-developed leg as a result of the exercise. They seem to be making no progress. Then Plank suggests that they tip a few of the heavier bags out of the back of the van, to make it easier and lighter to pump the tyres. As they start to do so, Emily appears in the doorway of Hotel Corkhill, arms akimbo.
She demands in a voice that would make Dire Murray’s sound like a whisper, that Tim come into the house this instant. There’s a load of cleaning from last night’s party to attend to and she doesn’t see why she should be lumbered with this on her own. As Tim, with a chastened look on his face, tucks his proverbial tail betwen his legs and trots off to attend to Emily’s demand, Plank objects to being left to pump tyres on his own.
Tim promises to be as quick as he can and tells Plank that if he carries on with the pumping, Tim will attend to the tipping. As Tim leaves, Plank mutters that Tim’s already ‘under the thumb’.
Jacqui has listened to Sammy’s relation of her woes and comments, upon Sammy’s completion, that it seems to her that Sammy wants to punish Richard, and maybe that might not be the best thing for Louise.
This is why, Sammy counters, she needs to know if someone can love another person’s children like their own.
Jacqui reiterates that, yes, that is possible.
This is simply what Sammy is finding hard to come to terms with, she admits. She feels that, if she allows Louise to stay with Richard, she will feel as though she’s given her away. She doesn’t mean to be flip or tactless, but she needs to know how Jacqui dealt with that situation in relation to Harry.
Jacqui tells her honestly that relinquishing Harry was the hardest thing in the world to do; but she relents and grants Sammy leave to go to London to try to deal with Louise.
Marty Murray steps onto his doorstep as Jimmy Corkhill steps onto his. For a moment, both men contemplate Plank valiantly trying to pump up the tyres on the white van. Without looking Jim’s way, Marty remarks that he had intended to have a word with Jim about the disturbance the previous night.
Jimmy remarks that Marty’s as bad as the rest, doing their nuts about noisy neighbours.
Big Dire joins her husband on the step, hearing the last remark made by Jimmy. Dire thinks she’s cute and clever, so she makes a suitably cute and clever remark, as per usual, in her booming voice:
‘I DON’T OBJECT TER NOISY NEIGHBOURS,’ she quips, smiling her rigor mortis grin, ‘BOOT WHAT I OBJECT TER IS HEARING PEOPLE HAVING FOON AND NOT BEIN’ INVITED TER JOIN IN.’
Jimmy, without missing a beat, replies that the sounds emanating from Hotel Corkhill the night before were nothing compared to what he had to contend with coming from the Murray’s bedroom, which can easily be heard at the Corkhill’s.
Dire beats a hasty retreat, put neatly in her place. (And for once, I commend Jimmy!!)
Marty, looking suitably embarrassed, mutters that he didn’t need to hear that, and follows Dire inside Sitcom House.
Tim, meantime, having finished helping Emily, leaves the house. Emily sights the bags of rubbish Plank’s removed from the rear of the van and this sets her off in a right old Margi of a rant. And they needn’t think they’re about to leave that roobbish there and not tip it, she says, before disappearing with Jimmy back into Hotel Corkhill.
Plank wonders aloud to Tim why Jimmy was nosying around the van. For a moment, Plank says, he thought Jimmy was going to climb in the rear and demand to be taken to Newcastle again.
Emily appears at the doorway again and shrieks at the lads to move the rubbish, and Tim, fed up with her orders, bounds toward the house, whilst Plank mutters, ‘Under the thumb’ again.
Inside, Tim finds Emily in the kitchen and ticks her off. She shouldn’t behave like that, he scolds, in front of Plank Murray.
Emily informs Tim that she has to go to work, and while she’ll do for Tim because she looves him, she won’t do for others of his ilk. Shoving a bottle of bleach at him, she advises that some of his mates who attended the party the previous night lost aim in the toilet upstairs.
And in an excellent example of flouncing, Emily flounces from the room and out the front door.
It seems that Dire’s staff is more conscientious about going to work than Dire is. Next door, she’s cornered another prime flouncer, Adele, who’s finally decided to get out of bed. Dire, narrowing her eyes suspiciously, immediately asks Adele - nay, accuses more than asks - if the girl’s seeing lads again. (Again? When did Adele see lads previously? She never ‘saw’ Leo Johnson in the sense of going out with him.)
Adele treats Dire’s question with the contempt it rightly deserves. If ever there were a frustrated nun, then Dire Murray is a prime candidate for the job.
Undeterred by her stepdaughter’s response, Dire asks point-blank about Adele having sex. Adele is surly again. Dire tries to mollify her question by simply saying she wants to ask Adele some questions, that’s all.
Fine by her, snaps Adele. What does Dire want to know exactly? If Adele’s taking ‘precautions’? (Hmmm ... If that’s what’s worrying Dire is it the fact that Adele is actually having sex or that she is taking precautions, both of which are in direct contravention to Dire’s repressed and rigid upbringing?)
Dire is stumped and ignorantly uses a tactless choice of words in her reply. Well, yes, that’s what she does want to know, especially now that Adele’s knocking around with Gareth.
Jacqui’s ventured upstairs at Number 8 to pay a visit to Ron, who’s let it be known unconvincingly that he’s suffering from ‘flu’. Entering the room gingerly, where Ron’s still lying in bed, with his face to the wall, Jacqui tentatively tells Ron that she understands that the Corkhill party from the night before upset Ron. In fact, Ray said that it seemed as though Ron suffered a flashback of sorts.
Ron insists that he’s suffering from flu, nothing more.
Well, Jacqui surmises, gently, Jessie doesn’t think Ron’s got flu, and neither does Jacqui.
Jessie’s a doctor now, is she? Questions Ron. The nosy, old cow.
She’s not a doctor, replies Jacqui, defensively. Jessie’s a mate, who cares, and so does Ray. And Rachel.
Ron stubbornly maintains that he’s got the flu.
Jacqui brushes this remark aside, insisting that Ron needn’t retreat into himself if he’s feeling low. He DOES have people with whom he can talk.
Ron refuses to budge.
Adele can’t believe the ignorant slew of words emanating from the Blessed Stepmother’s mouth. Dire must have an unnatural preoccupation with sex, she comments. And especially ADELE, having sex.
Dire begins to deny this, but Adele insists it’s true. After all, wasn’t it DIRE who called Adele a slag when the girl fell pregnant? And now here Dire was, thinking Adele was hot after doing it with every lad. Well, Adele was not impressed with this attitude.
Dire tries to shift the emphasis to Marty’s concern. It was he who was talking about going off on one if he found Gareth taking liberties, she says, eager to make Marty appear the unreasonable parent. SHE, the GOOD mother, just wants Adele to be careful. Adele, she says is a loovley girl, and fellas would be thronging around her. She’d hate to have Adele pay the price for the benefit of an unprotected fling.
It’s not about getting pregnant, says Dire, as she begins the requisite Redmond Issue Lecture of the evening. (It’s not even subtly disguised). It’s about HIV and other things.
Oh, says Adele, flippantly, they’ve covered SID’s in school.
Well, pouts Dire, SHE never got that sort of information when SHE went to school.
That’s because Dire was educated by nuns, retorts Adele (and not just nuns, but nuns in some weird time-warped school who hadn’t progressed beyond the Nineteenth Century). What do nuns know about sex education?
All the instruction SHE got, Dire admits, was an admonition that sex shouldn’t occur before marriage.
Adele cheekily asks her stepmother if she actually had sex before marrying Marty.
That’s none of Adele’s business, says the hypocrite, sniffily.
Adele admits, in a mature way, that she’s learned a lot since her abortion, and not just about precaution. She’s learned how one decision can effect others’ lives. She realises from Marty’s behaviour that day, that the day they spent in the abortion clinic was probably the saddest that he’s spent in his life.
The camera pans in close to show that Dire is holding Adele’s hand. Why? She dislikes the girl, and I heartily maintain that.
Tim is finally released from mess detail and as he approaches Plank, who moans about his over-developed right leg, Plank greets him as ‘Mrs Mop’. Anyway, he’s almost got the tyres done, but there’s still the rubbish to tip.
Tim has a great suggestion about what to do with the rubbish - leave it in Jimmy’s garden.
Plank doesn’t understand. Won’t Jimmy object to a bunch of rocks being dumped in his front garden?
Hasn’t Plank ever heard of a rockery? Tim asks. Besides, Jimmy told him and Emily they could do up the house as they pleased.
But he never mentioned the garden, Plank quips.
Adele and Dire leave Sitcom House together, with Adele promising to look after herself, especially when she’s on holiday in Ayia Napa. (Er, I thought her folks had decided against that).
Dire asks if Gareth’s a part of this party going on holiday to Ayia Napa.
Certainly not! Exclaims Adele. After all, she and Gareth weren’t married.
(Cue canned laughter ... CHUCKLECHUCKLECHUCKLECHUCKLE).
At the same time Dire and Adele are leaving, in the background, we see Helen getting out of her car, to be greeted by Ray. Awkwardly, Ray asks Happy-Clappy Helen, who’s bobbing her head uncontrollably, how things are going with Jimmy.
Fine, good, chirps Helen, smilingly bobbing her head up and down. He’s a really nice fella, she smiles, nodding. In fact she was just popping over to see him now.
Ray clears his throat uneasily.
Jacqui seeks out Rachel after talking to Ron. It’s no good, she tells her sister-in-law. Ron’s not budging. And he’s still insisting he’s got flu. That part the night before really knocked the wind out of him.
Rachel observes that it seems to her that Ron’s tired of the world. Jacqui’s afraid he might be suicidal.
Rachel’s at a loss. It’s hard to tell what he might do. Jacqui’s beside herself, wondering if Ron might need professional help.
As Jimmy is watching the activities of Tim and Plank, He sees Happy Smiling Helen arrive and walk up his drive, bobbing her head to and fro. Jimmy immediately invites her in for coffee, whilst she enquires after what Tim and Plank are doing. The lads explain that they’re creating a rockery for Jimmy’s front garden.
Jimmy pulls out the lapels of his jacket and jiggles them up and down, professing himself ot be a right Charlie Dimmock. (Oh, well, at least this tits joke was a might more subtle).
Once inside Hotel Corkhill, Jimmy apologises from what mess is left from the previous night’s party. He thought this might be a good time, yer know, for him and Helen to have another chat about secrets. As he opens the cupboard to remove the instant coffee, he briefly notices his bottle of lithium right in front of his eyes. (Er, sorry, shouldn’t this be in the medicine cabinet in the loo?)
Jimmy admits to Helen that he’s not proud of his past. In fact most of his past could be said to have fallen off the back of a lorry. What the hell, he had a CRIMINAL past - not the violent sort like today, you know, mugging people for a mobile phone - although he DOES admit, he wasn’t above smacking people if they deserved it.
Happy Smiling Helen asks how Jackie reacted to this aspect of Jimmy’s life.
Turned a blind eye, mostly, Jimmy says ... But that was because she benefitted from the proceeds. (Really? Jackie benefitted from dealing with single-handedly raising two ungrateful and ingrate children whilst Jimmy was in and out of prison and dallying with other liver birds? Jackie Corkhill had the patience of a saint and single-handedly held that family together. I object to Brookside’s rebranding of her as a harridan and a shrew to suit their purposes, simply because Sue Jenkins was virtually forced from the show by an incompetent producer, much to the show’s detriment, in my opinion).
Happy Smiling Helen bobs her head and wonders aloud that she never saw Jimmy on Crimewatch. Still, Happy Smiling Helen says that one can’t go back on one’s past. It’s a part of a person. All those years she spent with her husband, Clive (did I say Neville? Must have been thinking of the troll Neville Gardiner, who plagued the Newsgroup awhile back), with his BORING crosswords and his BORING gardening. Then Happy Smiling Helen apologises, thinking Jimmy’s a gardening buff.
He hates gardening, Jimmy admits, truthfully. And he asks if Helen will stay for lunch.
Oh, she’d love to, says Happy Smiling Helen, bobbing her head, but she has to take Stephanie to the dentist.
Oh, well, says Jimmy, another time, perhaps?
Happy Smiling Helen bobs her head in agreement and remarks that the more she knows Jimmy, the better she thinks the two are suited to each other. Does Jimmy think so too?
Jimmy agrees. They were certainly fated to meet.
And to like each other, finishes Happy Smiling Helen, bobbing her head. In fact, she continues, the better she knows him, the more special she thinks he is.
Sammy’s popped back over to Jacqui’s briefly. She’s drawn up a staff rota for Jacqui’s approval, to cover her absence. Sammy tells Jacqui that everyone at the Health Centre was really good about her having time off. Now all she has to worry about was Louise.
Louise is just a kid, Jacqui tells her. It’s important that Sammy do what’s best for Louise.
Ray watches from across the street as Jimmy and Helen say their good-byes at the front door.
Inside Number 8, Josh is being cared for by Rachel. She finds the lad with an ironing board at the top of the Dixon stairs. Rachel asks what Josh is doing with the ironing board, and the boy tells her that he wants to slide down the stairs on the board. Rachel tells Josh sternly that if he does that the noise might disturb Granddad, who was sick in bed with flu.
As she’s talking to him, however, the lad lets the ironing board fall with a clatter and a crash as it bangs down the stairs, which makes Rachel tick him off that much more.
As Plank and Tim begin to construct Jimmy’s rockery, Plank whinges about having a leg like jelly. Jimmy is watching them, and spies Ray making his way across the Close, calling out to Jimmy.
Aye-aye, Jimmy quips, here’s another person come to complain about the noise of last night’s party.
As Ray approaches, Jimmy minges at the two lads to move the rocks from his garden.
What about your rockery? Tim asks. What about Charlie Dimmock?
‘I’ll Charlie your Dimmock,’ Jimmy snarls.
But, Tim points out, Jimmy did say Tim could do what he pleased with the house.
Ray’s reached the Corkhill garden now, and Jimmy asks him to come inside. Ray refuses. Well, Jimmy begins, if it’s about the party ...
It’s about Helen, Ray interrupts.
Not in front of Noddy and Big Ears, Jimmy intercedes, and orders the lads to take the rubbish around by the side of the house.
Now the two men step inside Hotel Corkhill. Ray is nervous, but determined and comes straight to the point with Jimmy. He doesn’t approve of Helen seeing Jimmy, especially with Jimmy witholding important bits of his past from her, things Helen had a right to know.
Tough, replies Jimmy, shortly. Helen’s a grown woman. She can make up her own mind. She doesn’t need Ray to hold her hand.
Ray retorts that he meant what he said about Jimmy hurting Helen by not telling her about his illness. Did he tell her, by any chance?
What? Jokes Jimmy, saturninely. ‘Tell her I had had mumps?’
‘So you didn’t tell her,’ surmises Ray.
Jimmy looks shifty and says he’s picking his right moment.
Helen has a right to know about something as serious as manic depression, Ray lectures. And if Jimmy won’t tell her, then Ray promises that he will.
Peter Cox wrote this better-than-usual episode. At least he’s learning
the art of subtlety.
Summary © 2002 Marion Watts
Brookside and all related materials are © Mersey Television 1982-2002