There have been various complaints from the lowest common denominator on a certain forum (which will remain nameless) by a few people who try to post coherently and fail to do so with regularity (and those poor souls will also remain nameless) about the extent and the CONTENT of my summaries. One confuses CONTENT with COMMENT, but that has to do with a reading and comprehension problem that clearly isn’t mine. I suggest she pay more attention in her English class or else sue her local education authority.
I had thought to publish a shorter, more condensed version of the summaries - something about three sentences long, at most, such as: - Antony has nightmares. Jacqui promises to buy Bev’s bar when Leanne bothers Bev. At the end, it is discovered that Imelda is missing.
And that would about sum the episode up. But, then I thought ... Why the hell should I try to accommodate people who simply can’t be arsed to read and write properly ... People who think anyone who’s opinion is different from theirs are to be heckled, taunted and name-called (life imitating art there; Imelda would find a few allies); people ho think they’re always right and that there is no wrong in Brookside unless it be their specifically perceived wrongs; in short, people who run looking for a dictionary everytime they try to sit down to read one of my summaries, and then discover, to their chagrin, that they don’t actually possess a dictionary, if they do possess any books at all, and - having discovered this - don’t read past the first paragraph of a summary, but then log onto this particular site and slag the writer and her perceptions and opinions off.
Well, to those poor, benighted souls, I say ... TOUGH SHIT, ARSEHOLES! GET AN EDUCATION OR PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS!
I’m not dumbing down to accommodate you. I don’t expect these summaries to please everyone and I don’t want to do that, heaven forbid! I’m also pleased that Brookside has decided this as well - not to please all the people all of the time by trying to offer something for everyone ... Because something for everyone results in a comedy tonight - and Brookside is anything but that. And I’m glad that Phil Redmond has FINALLY realised that, in returning Brookie to its fold of old, he’s abandoning the great morass of cheap sex and adolescent angst for storylines that are relevant and matter. If it means a few lads and tweenies (not to mention older folk with the intelligence of the former) turn off, no great loss - because the vast majority of people who switched off in disgust the past three years, just might return - to the saving grace of the show.
The programme opens with a camera panning across an expanse of woodland. It appears to be early morning, because a cold fog is rising in the background. There’s an eerie silence pervading the tangled wood, as the camera pans across a pond and onto its banks. There, lying on the bank, is the still body of Imelda. The camera pans up her body from the direction of her feet, and we see her lying, her wet hair plastered to her forehead.
As the camera reaches her head, the viewer is looking at her body as if we are standing behind and to the side of her head. Suddenly, without warning, the body moves. Imelda moves her head toward the camera and smiles evilly.
Antony wakes with a start in his own bed, and we now know that the previous sequence was a nightmare for the lad. It’s morning. He sits bolt upright in his bed, breathing heavily. Suddenly, an knock on his bedroom door startles him. But it’s only Plank, who pokes his wooden head inside the room long enough to peremptorily order Ant to get up. It’s time for school.
Antony protests that he doesn’t feel like going to school today; he has a headache.
Plank chides him for attempting to bunk off. He tells the lad he has to get up and now.
Antony further protests that he has a headache as a result of not sleeping well the previous night.
Plank is only too aware that Antony was having nightmares. He tells the boy that Ant kept him awake half the night, shouting and screaming.
Antony is concerned that he talked in his sleep. Immediately he asked Plank if Plank managed to hear what he said.
Yes, confirms Plank, seriously. Antony was shouting, ‘I’m a meff! I’m a meff!’ And Plank laughs at his own joke and Antony’s discomfort.
Plank chides him again, telling him that he’s not to think he can sag off. Ant’s not dreaming now, his brother advises.
At Chateau Farnham, however, Jacqui and Max are supervising the children’s breakfast before setting off on their own days at work. Jacqui is complaining, thinking she is developing a cold because she feels so tired and run down. She’s thinking of popping into see Dr Parr on the off-chance that he might be able to prescribe some anti-biotics to ward off this cold.
Max jokes with his wife, urging her to admit that the fact that she’s now working and looking after two small children is tiring her out. She simply can’t go the pace. (I don’t understand his argument. Does Max want Jacqui to work? He seemed extremely supportive last week Now it’s as though he’s having second thoughts).
She can’t take the pace, teases Max, AND that’s with youth on her side.
Jacqui reminds Max that she used to be able to run three businesses and not bat an eyelid. (Yes, Jacqui, dear, but two small kids take more effort than two extra businesses). Speaking of businesses, she remarks, she tells Max that Bev dropped into the Health Club the previous day to talk to her about buying into the bar. Jacqui has to admit, she WAS tempted. The bar was in a good spot, after all.
Max is adamant. Jacqui should NOT be tempted into getting involved with that white elephant.
Jacqui is reticent. She’s not sure investing wouldnt’ be a bad idea; but anyway, she told Bev she wasn’t interested.
Max huffs, remarking that he’s thankful Jacqui came to her senses.That bar is a dead loss.
But, Jacqui points out, it was successful under her domain. It could be again if she took it over.
Max expounds on his philosophy that it’s best not to go back to some things.
‘So speaks the man who’s been married nineteen times,’ jokes Jacqui.
But Max kisses her, reminding her of the wife he obtained on his latest foray.
Next door at the Dixons’, Mr and Mrs Whinge, Mike and Rachel, are getting ready for their night away from it all. Rachel asks Mike if he managed to tell Ron about Jessie and Ray lodging at the former Casa BevRon. Mike admits that he fully intended to apprise Ron of the situation, but when he arrived and Ron wittered on about certain things, Mike cringed at the thought. Ron went on and on, says Mike, about how he wanted to get close to his family and friends when he gets out.
Well, reminds Rachel, he’ll certainly be close to Ray and Jessie - and he’s out in two weeks’ time. What if this set-up with them all living under one roof doesn’t work out?
Mike asks the whereabouts of Jessie. Rachel tells him that she’s popped out to the shops and they would be able to leave once she returned.
Rachel then starts to open her birthday cards. There’s one from Sinbad with some money inside, over which Mike oozes a greedy drool. More money for the dimwit couple to waste. AND a tenner from Mandy as well. Mike wishes everyday could be Rachel’s birthday, so people would dole out money to them and they wouldn’t have to do anything so menial as work at a job.
Oooh, says Rachel, lapsing back into brainless mode for a moment. She reckons coople’ll be doin’ aw-r-eye-ght. Got CCJ’s sor’ed’n M-eye-ke had job. ‘Nif Jac-keh bought baaaah ,why, Rachel would get job back -
Mike points out to Rachel that she’s merely assuming Jacqui would even want to buy the bar back.
Stranger things have happened, says Rachel.
Antony, dressed for school, is standing in the lounge when a firm knock is heard on the door. Through the frosted glass of the front door, he spies a tall, male figure, wearing some sort of uniform. Thinking it’s the police, Antony stands petrified. The knock sounds again.
Plank enters the lounge, wanting to know why Ant can’t be bothered to answer the door, as we hear Marty, who AGAIN hasn’t left for school, answer the door to the postman.
He enters the lounge, carrying a package, which he explains is catalogue stuff for Dire. Seeing Ant, he reminds the lad that Dire wants his PE kit today.
Antony momentarily panics. Why does she want that?
To do the washing, reminds Marty.
Ant replies that she can’t have the bag. He left it at school, he explains, suddenly remembering the real whereabouts of the bag - the wood where Imelda was killed.
We hear Marty’s voice, from a distance, lecturing Ant on the infeasibility of leaving his bag at school. Someone might nick it, he says.
Ant isn’t hearing anything of what is being said, as we are treated to a momentary flashback of his killing of Imelda. We see the struggle in the pond, preceded by a brief black-out of the screen.
Then we hear Marty repeating himself and shouting at Ant, asking him what’s wrong.
Plank explains that Ant has a headache, whilst another brief flashback, darts across the screen. Plank further explains that Ant was having nightmares all night.
Marty is immediately concerned and asks Ant if Imelda were picking on him again.
Antony snaps at Marty, telling him to stop asking about Imelda all the time, and dashes off to school. Marty shouts after him to remember to get his bag, before someone else does.
As they wait for Jessie’s return, Mike sits browsing through a marital aids mag that Rachel has bought, entitled Drive Your Man Wild. Rachel teasingly holds up a see-through nightie and giggling.
Dr Parr leaves the surgery and walks across the Parade in the direction of the Garage. Jacqui calls out to him, teasing him about knocking off early. Parr jokes that he’s off to fortify himself with a sarnie. He was in the midst of interviewing for Head Receptionist, he says, commenting to Jacqui that her ‘mate’ poor pitiful Katie was going for the job.
Jacqui thanks him for the invitation to the Parr-ty earlier, commenting that Dr Parr’s wife certainly seemed to have a good time. Parr innocently replies that Gaby usually does have a good time at these things and suggests that they and the Farnhams get together some evening for dinner, as Leanne watches the conversation from the garage, glaring in the distance.
Jacqui agrees and then mentions that she has a virus that she can’t seem to shake. She wonders if she can pop into the surgery later for some antibiotics.
A virus can’t be treated by antibiotics, says Dr Parr. But rather than diagnose herself, why not use the letters after Parr’s name and let him give her an examination and run some tests later on that afternoon?
Jacqui agrees.
Antony is scurrying down the corridor at school when Marty stops him abruptly, asking if he’s managed to find his bag. Without thinking, Ant tells his dad that he hasn’t. Marty asks where the boy left the bag, and Ant lies and says he left it in the gym changing room.
No problem, says Marty. He’s going there now - but Ant stops him, promising that he’ll get the bag right away.
Marty suddenly comments on the fact that Imelda doesn’t appear to be at school today. In fact, it does seem odd that she apologised so suddenly to Ant and appears to have just stopped bothering him. Still, Marty muses, contentedly, only a couple of more days, and the family will never have to hear the name ‘Imelda Clough’ again.
As Marty bounces away, Ant looks desolate and frightened.
Dr Parr enters the garage and Leanne immediately pounces upon him. She realises that Dr Parr refused to treat her, after her beating at the hands of Bev, she says, speaking rapidly, but bruising often doesn’t appear until later, and if Dr Parr would only care to look at these snaps of her injuries -
And she shows him the snap of her black-and-blue bum.
Parr looks uncomfortable, trying to extricate himself from the situation. That could be a picture of anyone’s buttocks, he remarks.
As he walks to the till, we see Max in the background. Leanne is still banging on at Dr Parr, telling him that she reckons she was suffering from the same syndrome as some woman she’d seen on Jerry Springer. The woman had suffered a severe psychological trauma some years before, but it was only now that the trauma was manifesting itself in some sort of reaction. She had an awful rash down the side of her body.
Dr Parr names the syndrome, which is similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (many thanks to Brookie’s resident GP viewer for apprising me of this).
Oh, Leanne is surprised. Did Dr Parr watch the same Springer programme too?
No, Parr replies, shortly, but he is aware of the syndrome.
Well, Leanne continues, as Max moves behind Parr in the forming queue, she reckons that’s what’s bothering her - a reaction to an extremely painful experience. Why, her last GP tole her that she was one of a kind and all.
Max manages to get a word in edgeways and greets Dr Parr, who - thankful to be extricated from the clutches of Leanne - tells Max that he has to pop in later to see him about some business.
As Dr Parr literally runs from the Garage, Leanne now turns her attentions to Max.
She’s got her compensation claim all sussed, she says, noting Parr’s reluctance. She didn’t need that snotty GP to verify her mental trauma, when she had Max as her perfect witness.
Ah, begins Max, hesitantly. THAT’S where she’s wrong.
Leanne looks at him curiously.
Max explains that he’s not even certain that he saw WHO started the altercation. Therefore, he can’t be called as a reliable witness.
Leanne is astounded, and for once, gobsmacked.
Well, she replies indignantly, when she’s found her voice. And after ALL she did for Max Farnham too!
Max is confused. What, exactly, has Leanne ever done for Max? He wants to know.
Why, when she worked at Bev’s, says Leanne, Max never got a short measure of drink.
Au contraire, Max protests, he got the normal measure, just like everyone else. And he turns to leave.
Leanne shouts after him, asking him what ever happened to loyalty and integrity, with the words ‘pot’, ‘kettle’ and ‘black’ coming firmly to mind.
Antony is again between classes and walking nervously down the hall, when he spies three teachers standing apart in an obvious conference with one another. Immediately assuming the worst, as his guilty imagination is working overtime, Ant stops in his tracks. The women turn and walk toward him in slow motion, appearing to glare accusingly at him, the sound of their footsteps intensified by the slo-mo effect. We know that they’re just walking down the hall together, but Antony’s imagination sees them sussing his guilt and turning on him.
He stands rigid as the three women pass on either side of him and walk away.
Mike and Rachel have arrived at a posh country hotel and enter their room, which has a four-poster bed. Mike flops onto the bed and begins to jump up and down. Rachel, worried, warns him to be careful, or else he’ll break the bed. Mike makes a risque comment about them doing just that, before saying that there are plenty of other places to ‘try’ like the shower, the floor ...
(Several newspapers panned this scene, and I must say that it DID go a bit OTT on the sexual innuendo. No need for this scene at all. It accomplished nothing).
Mike takes this opportunity to give Rachel her birthday present. It’s a red and white basque-like outfit. Rachel is thrilled, but immediately asks Mike if Jacqui chose the present for him. Mike is offended, saying that he didn’t want his sister anywhere near his sex life.
Rachel jokes about Mike being able to last more that the usual two minutes, an inappropriate and gratuitous remark made before the watershed, my only criticism of the programme. But then she has a confession to make. The sexy see-through nightie that she’s bought has been loaned to her by none other than Jacqui (although how the sturdy Rachel will even get it over her boobs is anyone’s guess!)
As Mike lies back on his bed, he makes another inane comment about their sex life, before Rachel straddles him and tells him to brace himself, as she prepares to remove her top.
OK. We KNOW that Mike and Rachel are a married couple and MOST married couples have sex. But was this scene necessary? No. What did it accomplish? Nothing. If anyone disagrees and can coherently correct my assumption, please do so through the proper channels. I welcome your comments.
Later in the day, Jacqui sits at the bar of The Shelf, relaxing with Max, as they discuss recent events. Jacqui, I must say, looks really nice in a tailored navy blue suit - much the same sort of ensemble that a certain Mrs Patricia Farnham might wear. Max looks around the busy restaurant, remarking that he really should go about getting extra help in the restaurant. He could actually do now with someone covering for him for a few hours this evening, in order that he might spend sometime with his young wife.
Jacqui informs Max that she went to see Dr Parr today and she’s pleased to inform him that she’s not run down at all.
There you go, chides Max, smugly. He knew it was a virus all along and there’s no treatment for viruses.
Changing the subject, Jacqui confesses to something that’s been niggling her mind all day long. She can’t rid herself of the enticement to buy Bev’s Bar. As soon as she mentions this, Max grimaces, but Jacqui forces him to admit that he didn’t entirely dismiss the idea when she mentioned it the previous day, so he WAS tempted by the prospect.
Max admits that in a moment of wild thinking, he MAY have been tempted, but after careful thought, he had come to the conclusion that the place was beyond redemption, after Leanne’s manoeuvres. Quite simply, the bar had lost any good reputation it had previously had, says Max primly.
Jacqui disagrees. With the right staff, she begins, and with Bev taking over manager’s duties -
Bev? Manager? Exclaims Max, incredulous. Not that would never work! Why, it was Bev who was ultimately responsible for running the bar into the ground as was, by giving Leanne such responsibility; besides which, Jacqui and Bev just wouldn’t get on at all.
Noticing the funny look crossing Jacqui’s face as he issues his mini-rant, Max stops in mid-flow. Is Jacqui certain she hasn’t already made Bev an offer on this bar? He wants to know.
Jacqui lowers those emotive eyes and admits, with great shame, that she made Bev a cheeky offer. She offered to take the bar off her hands for nothing, and give Bev a job in return.
Max nearly explodes. What IS this mission Jacqui’s launched herself on about giving Bev a job?
Jacqui admits that she feels sorry for Bev, so sorry that she was actually ashamed of making such a dire offer as that. And she didn’t want to rip Bev off. She wanted to help her.
The way Bev helped Leanne? Max reminds her. And anyway, Jacqui knew all too what Bev could be like - Jacqui wants to remember that Bev previously owned that bar.
But she might be different now, Jacqui says, persuasively.
Oh, she’ll be grateful at first, concedes Max. Butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth; and it wouldn’t be long before the old, mouthy, in-your-face Bev would make an appearance.
Jacqui assures Max that she’s perfectly capable of handling Bev. After all, she says, she handles Sammy Rogers. As far as Bev’s personality, well, that might be an attraction for the bar.
But, Max reminds her, if Sammy as much as steps out of line, Jacqui can get rid of her. Bev might get some sort of warped idea that she’s Jacqui’s business partner or something, he warns. And then, if Jacqui should ever have to get rid of Bev, it might cost her thousands in compensation.(Heaven forbid!)
Antony Murray is leaving the school grounds, well before the normal time. He slinks across the ground toward the side gate, glancing apprehensively to his right and left. As he starts to scarper, someone sternly calls out, ‘ANTONY MURRAY!’
Ant whirls around in terror, only to find his father laughing. Antony remarks that Marty nearly scared him half to death, and Marty replies by asking where Ant’s going this time of day.
Antony explains that he’s got bad stomach ache, and the his teacher has excused him to go home for the rest of the day. No problems about that, because Plank is at home, he adds.
Marty buys this explanation, and as Ant runs off, Marty calls after him, hoping he feels better.
Plank, meanwhile, has stopped by the garage for a few essentials. As he browses the aisles, making the most major decision he’ll make all day, Leanne taunts him from behind the till. She tells him that she’s seen Adele out with the Farnham children. (Er, please, someone tell me, WHEN exactly does Adele go to school? I know she’s doing AS levels this year, and she may not have to be there all day, but she DOES have to go sometime at least PART of every day?)
Max and Jacqui must be daft to trust Adele with their kids, she continues, as Plank ignores her. There’s no trusting that Adele. Look at the way she couldn’t wait to blurt to Bev about there being no film in the CCTV camera, and Leanne points to the mechanism, high on the wall. That Adele needs a serious reminder about family loyalty, especially where Christy is concerned, Leanne says.
Plank makes a few jibes about Leanne’s pathetic attempts to garner compensation, and Leanne accuses him of being cynical.
Plank laughs. He’s not cynical, he protests. He just knows his Uncle Christy. If there’s a quick quid to be had, without any work, Christy’s there with his hand out. Master of the unsuccessful scams, is Christy.
Plank plops some items on the counter from the special offer bin of two for the price of one. Leanne demands payment of £4.00.
Again, Plank protests that the offer says TWO for the price of ONE.
While stocks last, Leanne quotes from the advertising flyer.
As the two argue the point, we see the scene from the point of view of the CCTV camera, in black and white, briefly. So there WAS film in the camera all the time. Quelle surprise!
Plank maintains that the advert for the items clearly states TWO for the price of ONE and bangs two quid down on the counter, as Leanne sets up a caterwaul of complaint. The CCTV camera records everything as we are treated to another black and white shot of the scene.
As Leanne indignantly protests, Plank sneeringly laughs at her complaints, asking her what she’s going to do about his non-payment ... Call the bizzies?
He leaves, laughing, as Leanne is reduced to shouting hopelessly after him that she was going to tell his Uncle Christy, and Christy would sort Plank out!!!
Antony, meantime, hasn’t exactly taken the direct path home. He runs to the wooded area where he last saw Imelda.
I knew it couldn’t last for long. Another Brookie bed scene. This time with Mike and Rachel in the huge four-poster bed at their posh hotel. Mike flings himself off Rachel, onto his back, announcing to the world and all 3 million viewers of all ages, that he’s knackered. (Yes, Brookside, we know that they’ve had sex. Yes, Brookside, we know that sex is, sometimes, tiring. But have you ever shown that it can, sometimes, be boring as well?) He asks Rachel if she wants something to drink, and Rachel, for once being economical, asks for a cup of tea.
No, explains Mike, as his wife hasn’t quite got used to the weight of a brain in her head, he meant from the mini-bar. He saw some champers over there.
Oooh, exclaims Rachel in wonder, woan hit cos’ moon-eh?
Mike hops out of the bed, and we are treated to the sight of another nude male bum, this time Paul Byatt’s unappetising hairy ape-arse. NOT a pretty sight, Brookside, and gratuitous, to boot - and just when you were doing so WELL! As Mike pours the couple a drink, he remarks that he didn’t spend all those years being a barman for nothing.
Oooh, suggests Rachel, M-eye-ke l-eye-ked workin’ poob. Mebbe when Jac-keh b-eyes baar, ‘e could get job back -
As Mike approaches the bed, bearing the drinks, he shakes his head determinedly. If there were one thing he WASN’T about to do, it was to work again for his sister. And he didn’t want Rachel back working at the bar either.
As Rachel looks more perplexed than usual at that remark, Mike explains that if both of them worked for Jacqui and one fell out with her, then both their jobs were in jeopardy. Anyway, he soothes her, they weren’t here to talk about Jacqui. But Rachel wonders what sort of sex life Max and Jacqui have. (Personally, I’d rather bed Max Farnham than Mike Dixon - blyechhhhhh!)
Antony runs to the spot where he and Imelda tussled, his eyes carefully avoiding the pond and anything lying in it. He finds his school bag where he left it, under a nearby tree. Standing with his back deliberately to the pond, Ant closes his eyes and plaintively wails an apology, saying he’s sorry again and again.
Opening his eyes, he’s startled, for he sees Imelda, with her wet hair, walking toward him, smiling her malicious smile. Suddenly, she disappears, but reappears, coming from another direction. Antony turns frantically around, but it seems that all he can see is Imelda, with her wicked grin. With nowhere else to turn, he stands still, and still the form approaches until Imelda stands a mere arm’s length from Antony.
As the image stands in front of him, she throws her head back and greets him in a voice that’s Imelda’s, but intensified with a hollow echo: ‘Hi, Meff"!’ Then she issues a ghostly laugh as the apparition, a figment - obviously - of Antony’s imagination and disappears.
Jacqui and Max are still seated at the small bar in The Shelf, when Gary Parr enters. He greets Max and promptly asks to book a table for four people. He explains that he’s taking his staff for an evening out. Max asks Dr Parr if he’s settling into the area all right, and Dr Parr replies that everything’s fine, so far, except for the few odd local proprietors.
Jacqui and Max exchange puzzled looks, wondering whom he means, and Dr Parr clarifies his statement. He means that woman in the Garage, that Leanne.
Oh, remarks Jacqui, nonplussed, he’d do well to steer clear of that one.
Dr Parr explains that he merely went to the garage to buy a sandwich and ended up deep in the midst of a discussion about psycho-therapy. Jacqui teases him about the medical ethics of talking about his patients, but Dr Parr says Leanne is no patient of his. And did she ever become one, he’d strike himself off the register.
Jacqui asks when he’s likely to hear from the tests he ran on her that afternoon and Dr Parr confirms that he’ll have the results back in a couple of days. (What? NOT TWO WEEKS? This IS the National Health, after all!)
When he leaves, Max remarks to Jacqui that Dr Parr was a man who recognises the warning signs o fdanger and leaves instantly, referring to his run-in with Leanne. Max uses this analogy to try to warn Jacqui off buying the bar, yet again. It would be nothing but trouble, and besides, she’d only feel obligated to employ Mike and Rachel, and that would be yet another headache.
Jacqui points out that Mike already has a job and Rachel is quite satisfied doing what she’s doing. (Is she?) Max then places his hand on his wife’s thigh, and reminds her that if she buys the bar, she’ll be so busy that Max won’t get a look-in ‘upstairs’.
With that in mind, Jacqui agrees that Max is probably right about the whole thing, and she makes him promise that neither of them will further talk about Bev.
Antony is seen running from the wooded area toward the Close.
Bev’s again washing the windows of the derelict Bar, herself, when, yet again, she’s disturbed by Leanne’s mellifluous tones, echoing down The Parade. Leanne greets Bev nastily, remarking how glad she was to see Bev put in her place, cleaning the windows, herself.
Bev glances over her shoulder at Leanne’s permanently scowling face, asking Leanne from under which stone she had crawled.
Leanne counters by accusing Bev of witness-tampering. Bev pleads innocent to that charge, but Leanne goes on to remark how odd it was that all of HER witnesses to the scuffle between the two of them, suddenly changed their stories after talking to Bev.
Bev sighs in resignation and tells Leanne that what happened has happened, she couldn’t help it.
Oh, it’s a lot worse that Bev thinks, intimates Leanne, maliciously. This can go a lot further than Bev losing her business, and Leanne casts a baleful eye over the premises.She vows that she won’t stop in her pursuit of ‘justice’ until the bar was empty, filled with nothing but cobwebs, and Bev and Josh were out on the street, having lost their home.
At this moment, from the opposite direction, Jacqui and Max approach, on their way home. As Leanne’s voice carries all over Creation, they’ve heard every word she’s said, and Jacqui looks absolutely horrified, especially at the way, Bev stands silent before Leanne, her face nearly crumpling in tears.
Yes, Leanne repeats shrilly, Bev and Josh would be homeless on the street, but that was nothing new to Bev, was it?
Jacqui speaks up, interjecting: ‘Have you heard yourself?’ She asks Leanne. ‘Why don’t you just do one?’
Oooh, replies Leanne, in mock horror. She’s surprised Jacqui’s posh hubby tolerates her talking like that.
Max advises Leanne to go away, and Leanne begins to taunt him about changing his story when he clearly saw Bev hit her.
Everyone’s tired of hearing Leanne go on, says Jacqui.
Leanne tells Jacqui to shut her miserable gob. And as far as Bev was concerned, she continues, she’d give Bev a month before she was back on the street and Josh would be taken into care, because of Bev’s stupid mistake. Nothing would make Leanne happier.
Jacqui interrupts again. The only mistake Bev’s made, she points out, was leaving Leanne in charge of the bar, which was tantamount to leaving a paedophile in charge of a playgroup.
Nice speech, quips Leanne, smiling maliciously, but the bitch STILL loses her business. In fact, Leanne knows full well that Bev hasn’t yet had an offer for the place, nor any hope of one.
‘Well, that’s where you’re wrong,’ purrs Jacqui, matching Leanne’s malicious smile. ‘Because I’m buying into the business, and nothing will give me greater pleasure than to make you the first customer who gets a lifetime ban!’
Antony has reached Sitcom House and knocks frantically on the door. After awhile, Plank opens the door. He carries the telephone, deep in conversation about something being all over the television and also the radio. He finishes the conversation and asks Ant where he’s been. Ant’s suitably evasive in his reply.
But has Ant heard the news? Plank wants to know. Their dad had just rung them to tell them, but it has been all over the news on telly and radio. Imelda Clough’s only gone missing, Plank reveals.And the bizzies are concerned about her disappearance.
Antony immediately blurts out that he hasn’t seen Imelda.
The bizzies say that they’ll be talking to her schoolmates, says Plank, besides searching the area.
Again, Ant repeats that he hasn’t seen Imelda.And anyway, why would they want to talk to her schoolmates?
In case she’s done one and someone knows, explains Plank. But one thing’s for certain:When a kid that age goes missing, the bizzies take it very seriously and do everything that they can to find her.
The camera pans in closely on Ant’s frantic face.
Maurice Bessman wrote this. Another good one.
SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE
There have been various complaints from the lowest common denominator on a certain forum (which will remain nameless) by a few people who try to post coherently and fail to do so with regularity (and those poor souls will also remain nameless) about the extent and the CONTENT of my summaries. One confuses CONTENT with COMMENT, but that has to do with a reading and comprehension problem that clearly isn’t mine. I suggest she pay more attention in her English class or else sue her local education authority.
I had thought to publish a shorter, more condensed version of the summaries - something about three sentences long, at most, such as: - Antony has nightmares. Jacqui promises to buy Bev’s bar when Leanne bothers Bev. At the end, it is discovered that Imelda is missing.
And that would about sum the episode up. But, then I thought ... Why the hell should I try to accommodate people who simply can’t be arsed to read and write properly ... People who think anyone who’s opinion is different from theirs are to be heckled, taunted and name-called (life imitating art there; Imelda would find a few allies); people ho think they’re always right and that there is no wrong in Brookside unless it be their specifically perceived wrongs; in short, people who run looking for a dictionary everytime they try to sit down to read one of my summaries, and then discover, to their chagrin, that they don’t actually possess a dictionary, if they do possess any books at all, and - having discovered this - don’t read past the first paragraph of a summary, but then log onto this particular site and slag the writer and her perceptions and opinions off.
Well, to those poor, benighted souls, I say ... TOUGH SHIT, ARSEHOLES! GET AN EDUCATION OR PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS!
I’m not dumbing down to accommodate you. I don’t expect these summaries to please everyone and I don’t want to do that, heaven forbid! I’m also pleased that Brookside has decided this as well - not to please all the people all of the time by trying to offer something for everyone ... Because something for everyone results in a comedy tonight - and Brookside is anything but that. And I’m glad that Phil Redmond has FINALLY realised that, in returning Brookie to its fold of old, he’s abandoning the great morass of cheap sex and adolescent angst for storylines that are relevant and matter. If it means a few lads and tweenies (not to mention older folk with the intelligence of the former) turn off, no great loss - because the vast majority of people who switched off in disgust the past three years, just might return - to the saving grace of the show.
The programme opens with a camera panning across an expanse of woodland. It appears to be early morning, because a cold fog is rising in the background. There’s an eerie silence pervading the tangled wood, as the camera pans across a pond and onto its banks. There, lying on the bank, is the still body of Imelda. The camera pans up her body from the direction of her feet, and we see her lying, her wet hair plastered to her forehead.
As the camera reaches her head, the viewer is looking at her body as if we are standing behind and to the side of her head. Suddenly, without warning, the body moves. Imelda moves her head toward the camera and smiles evilly.
Antony wakes with a start in his own bed, and we now know that the previous sequence was a nightmare for the lad. It’s morning. He sits bolt upright in his bed, breathing heavily. Suddenly, an knock on his bedroom door startles him. But it’s only Plank, who pokes his wooden head inside the room long enough to peremptorily order Ant to get up. It’s time for school.
Antony protests that he doesn’t feel like going to school today; he has a headache.
Plank chides him for attempting to bunk off. He tells the lad he has to get up and now.
Antony further protests that he has a headache as a result of not sleeping well the previous night.
Plank is only too aware that Antony was having nightmares. He tells the boy that Ant kept him awake half the night, shouting and screaming.
Antony is concerned that he talked in his sleep. Immediately he asked Plank if Plank managed to hear what he said.
Yes, confirms Plank, seriously. Antony was shouting, ‘I’m a meff! I’m a meff!’ And Plank laughs at his own joke and Antony’s discomfort.
Plank chides him again, telling him that he’s not to think he can sag off. Ant’s not dreaming now, his brother advises.
At Chateau Farnham, however, Jacqui and Max are supervising the children’s breakfast before setting off on their own days at work. Jacqui is complaining, thinking she is developing a cold because she feels so tired and run down. She’s thinking of popping into see Dr Parr on the off-chance that he might be able to prescribe some anti-biotics to ward off this cold.
Max jokes with his wife, urging her to admit that the fact that she’s now working and looking after two small children is tiring her out. She simply can’t go the pace. (I don’t understand his argument. Does Max want Jacqui to work? He seemed extremely supportive last week Now it’s as though he’s having second thoughts).
She can’t take the pace, teases Max, AND that’s with youth on her side.
Jacqui reminds Max that she used to be able to run three businesses and not bat an eyelid. (Yes, Jacqui, dear, but two small kids take more effort than two extra businesses). Speaking of businesses, she remarks, she tells Max that Bev dropped into the Health Club the previous day to talk to her about buying into the bar. Jacqui has to admit, she WAS tempted. The bar was in a good spot, after all.
Max is adamant. Jacqui should NOT be tempted into getting involved with that white elephant.
Jacqui is reticent. She’s not sure investing wouldnt’ be a bad idea; but anyway, she told Bev she wasn’t interested.
Max huffs, remarking that he’s thankful Jacqui came to her senses.That bar is a dead loss.
But, Jacqui points out, it was successful under her domain. It could be again if she took it over.
Max expounds on his philosophy that it’s best not to go back to some things.
‘So speaks the man who’s been married nineteen times,’ jokes Jacqui.
But Max kisses her, reminding her of the wife he obtained on his latest foray.
Next door at the Dixons’, Mr and Mrs Whinge, Mike and Rachel, are getting ready for their night away from it all. Rachel asks Mike if he managed to tell Ron about Jessie and Ray lodging at the former Casa BevRon. Mike admits that he fully intended to apprise Ron of the situation, but when he arrived and Ron wittered on about certain things, Mike cringed at the thought. Ron went on and on, says Mike, about how he wanted to get close to his family and friends when he gets out.
Well, reminds Rachel, he’ll certainly be close to Ray and Jessie - and he’s out in two weeks’ time. What if this set-up with them all living under one roof doesn’t work out?
Mike asks the whereabouts of Jessie. Rachel tells him that she’s popped out to the shops and they would be able to leave once she returned.
Rachel then starts to open her birthday cards. There’s one from Sinbad with some money inside, over which Mike oozes a greedy drool. More money for the dimwit couple to waste. AND a tenner from Mandy as well. Mike wishes everyday could be Rachel’s birthday, so people would dole out money to them and they wouldn’t have to do anything so menial as work at a job.
Oooh, says Rachel, lapsing back into brainless mode for a moment. She reckons coople’ll be doin’ aw-r-eye-ght. Got CCJ’s sor’ed’n M-eye-ke had job. ‘Nif Jac-keh bought baaaah ,why, Rachel would get job back -
Mike points out to Rachel that she’s merely assuming Jacqui would even want to buy the bar back.
Stranger things have happened, says Rachel.
Antony, dressed for school, is standing in the lounge when a firm knock is heard on the door. Through the frosted glass of the front door, he spies a tall, male figure, wearing some sort of uniform. Thinking it’s the police, Antony stands petrified. The knock sounds again.
Plank enters the lounge, wanting to know why Ant can’t be bothered to answer the door, as we hear Marty, who AGAIN hasn’t left for school, answer the door to the postman.
He enters the lounge, carrying a package, which he explains is catalogue stuff for Dire. Seeing Ant, he reminds the lad that Dire wants his PE kit today.
Antony momentarily panics. Why does she want that?
To do the washing, reminds Marty.
Ant replies that she can’t have the bag. He left it at school, he explains, suddenly remembering the real whereabouts of the bag - the wood where Imelda was killed.
We hear Marty’s voice, from a distance, lecturing Ant on the infeasibility of leaving his bag at school. Someone might nick it, he says.
Ant isn’t hearing anything of what is being said, as we are treated to a momentary flashback of his killing of Imelda. We see the struggle in the pond, preceded by a brief black-out of the screen.
Then we hear Marty repeating himself and shouting at Ant, asking him what’s wrong.
Plank explains that Ant has a headache, whilst another brief flashback, darts across the screen. Plank further explains that Ant was having nightmares all night.
Marty is immediately concerned and asks Ant if Imelda were picking on him again.
Antony snaps at Marty, telling him to stop asking about Imelda all the time, and dashes off to school. Marty shouts after him to remember to get his bag, before someone else does.
As they wait for Jessie’s return, Mike sits browsing through a marital aids mag that Rachel has bought, entitled Drive Your Man Wild. Rachel teasingly holds up a see-through nightie and giggling.
Dr Parr leaves the surgery and walks across the Parade in the direction of the Garage. Jacqui calls out to him, teasing him about knocking off early. Parr jokes that he’s off to fortify himself with a sarnie. He was in the midst of interviewing for Head Receptionist, he says, commenting to Jacqui that her ‘mate’ poor pitiful Katie was going for the job.
Jacqui thanks him for the invitation to the Parr-ty earlier, commenting that Dr Parr’s wife certainly seemed to have a good time. Parr innocently replies that Gaby usually does have a good time at these things and suggests that they and the Farnhams get together some evening for dinner, as Leanne watches the conversation from the garage, glaring in the distance.
Jacqui agrees and then mentions that she has a virus that she can’t seem to shake. She wonders if she can pop into the surgery later for some antibiotics.
A virus can’t be treated by antibiotics, says Dr Parr. But rather than diagnose herself, why not use the letters after Parr’s name and let him give her an examination and run some tests later on that afternoon?
Jacqui agrees.
Antony is scurrying down the corridor at school when Marty stops him abruptly, asking if he’s managed to find his bag. Without thinking, Ant tells his dad that he hasn’t. Marty asks where the boy left the bag, and Ant lies and says he left it in the gym changing room.
No problem, says Marty. He’s going there now - but Ant stops him, promising that he’ll get the bag right away.
Marty suddenly comments on the fact that Imelda doesn’t appear to be at school today. In fact, it does seem odd that she apologised so suddenly to Ant and appears to have just stopped bothering him. Still, Marty muses, contentedly, only a couple of more days, and the family will never have to hear the name ‘Imelda Clough’ again.
As Marty bounces away, Ant looks desolate and frightened.
Dr Parr enters the garage and Leanne immediately pounces upon him. She realises that Dr Parr refused to treat her, after her beating at the hands of Bev, she says, speaking rapidly, but bruising often doesn’t appear until later, and if Dr Parr would only care to look at these snaps of her injuries -
And she shows him the snap of her black-and-blue bum.
Parr looks uncomfortable, trying to extricate himself from the situation. That could be a picture of anyone’s buttocks, he remarks.
As he walks to the till, we see Max in the background. Leanne is still banging on at Dr Parr, telling him that she reckons she was suffering from the same syndrome as some woman she’d seen on Jerry Springer. The woman had suffered a severe psychological trauma some years before, but it was only now that the trauma was manifesting itself in some sort of reaction. She had an awful rash down the side of her body.
Dr Parr names the syndrome, which is similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (many thanks to Brookie’s resident GP viewer for apprising me of this).
Oh, Leanne is surprised. Did Dr Parr watch the same Springer programme too?
No, Parr replies, shortly, but he is aware of the syndrome.
Well, Leanne continues, as Max moves behind Parr in the forming queue, she reckons that’s what’s bothering her - a reaction to an extremely painful experience. Why, her last GP tole her that she was one of a kind and all.
Max manages to get a word in edgeways and greets Dr Parr, who - thankful to be extricated from the clutches of Leanne - tells Max that he has to pop in later to see him about some business.
As Dr Parr literally runs from the Garage, Leanne now turns her attentions to Max.
She’s got her compensation claim all sussed, she says, noting Parr’s reluctance. She didn’t need that snotty GP to verify her mental trauma, when she had Max as her perfect witness.
Ah, begins Max, hesitantly. THAT’S where she’s wrong.
Leanne looks at him curiously.
Max explains that he’s not even certain that he saw WHO started the altercation. Therefore, he can’t be called as a reliable witness.
Leanne is astounded, and for once, gobsmacked.
Well, she replies indignantly, when she’s found her voice. And after ALL she did for Max Farnham too!
Max is confused. What, exactly, has Leanne ever done for Max? He wants to know.
Why, when she worked at Bev’s, says Leanne, Max never got a short measure of drink.
Au contraire, Max protests, he got the normal measure, just like everyone else. And he turns to leave.
Leanne shouts after him, asking him what ever happened to loyalty and integrity, with the words ‘pot’, ‘kettle’ and ‘black’ coming firmly to mind.
Antony is again between classes and walking nervously down the hall, when he spies three teachers standing apart in an obvious conference with one another. Immediately assuming the worst, as his guilty imagination is working overtime, Ant stops in his tracks. The women turn and walk toward him in slow motion, appearing to glare accusingly at him, the sound of their footsteps intensified by the slo-mo effect. We know that they’re just walking down the hall together, but Antony’s imagination sees them sussing his guilt and turning on him.
He stands rigid as the three women pass on either side of him and walk away.
Mike and Rachel have arrived at a posh country hotel and enter their room, which has a four-poster bed. Mike flops onto the bed and begins to jump up and down. Rachel, worried, warns him to be careful, or else he’ll break the bed. Mike makes a risque comment about them doing just that, before saying that there are plenty of other places to ‘try’ like the shower, the floor ...
(Several newspapers panned this scene, and I must say that it DID go a bit OTT on the sexual innuendo. No need for this scene at all. It accomplished nothing).
Mike takes this opportunity to give Rachel her birthday present. It’s a red and white basque-like outfit. Rachel is thrilled, but immediately asks Mike if Jacqui chose the present for him. Mike is offended, saying that he didn’t want his sister anywhere near his sex life.
Rachel jokes about Mike being able to last more that the usual two minutes, an inappropriate and gratuitous remark made before the watershed, my only criticism of the programme. But then she has a confession to make. The sexy see-through nightie that she’s bought has been loaned to her by none other than Jacqui (although how the sturdy Rachel will even get it over her boobs is anyone’s guess!)
As Mike lies back on his bed, he makes another inane comment about their sex life, before Rachel straddles him and tells him to brace himself, as she prepares to remove her top.
OK. We KNOW that Mike and Rachel are a married couple and MOST married couples have sex. But was this scene necessary? No. What did it accomplish? Nothing. If anyone disagrees and can coherently correct my assumption, please do so through the proper channels. I welcome your comments.
Later in the day, Jacqui sits at the bar of The Shelf, relaxing with Max, as they discuss recent events. Jacqui, I must say, looks really nice in a tailored navy blue suit - much the same sort of ensemble that a certain Mrs Patricia Farnham might wear. Max looks around the busy restaurant, remarking that he really should go about getting extra help in the restaurant. He could actually do now with someone covering for him for a few hours this evening, in order that he might spend sometime with his young wife.
Jacqui informs Max that she went to see Dr Parr today and she’s pleased to inform him that she’s not run down at all.
There you go, chides Max, smugly. He knew it was a virus all along and there’s no treatment for viruses.
Changing the subject, Jacqui confesses to something that’s been niggling her mind all day long. She can’t rid herself of the enticement to buy Bev’s Bar. As soon as she mentions this, Max grimaces, but Jacqui forces him to admit that he didn’t entirely dismiss the idea when she mentioned it the previous day, so he WAS tempted by the prospect.
Max admits that in a moment of wild thinking, he MAY have been tempted, but after careful thought, he had come to the conclusion that the place was beyond redemption, after Leanne’s manoeuvres. Quite simply, the bar had lost any good reputation it had previously had, says Max primly.
Jacqui disagrees. With the right staff, she begins, and with Bev taking over manager’s duties -
Bev? Manager? Exclaims Max, incredulous. Not that would never work! Why, it was Bev who was ultimately responsible for running the bar into the ground as was, by giving Leanne such responsibility; besides which, Jacqui and Bev just wouldn’t get on at all.
Noticing the funny look crossing Jacqui’s face as he issues his mini-rant, Max stops in mid-flow. Is Jacqui certain she hasn’t already made Bev an offer on this bar? He wants to know.
Jacqui lowers those emotive eyes and admits, with great shame, that she made Bev a cheeky offer. She offered to take the bar off her hands for nothing, and give Bev a job in return.
Max nearly explodes. What IS this mission Jacqui’s launched herself on about giving Bev a job?
Jacqui admits that she feels sorry for Bev, so sorry that she was actually ashamed of making such a dire offer as that. And she didn’t want to rip Bev off. She wanted to help her.
The way Bev helped Leanne? Max reminds her. And anyway, Jacqui knew all too what Bev could be like - Jacqui wants to remember that Bev previously owned that bar.
But she might be different now, Jacqui says, persuasively.
Oh, she’ll be grateful at first, concedes Max. Butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth; and it wouldn’t be long before the old, mouthy, in-your-face Bev would make an appearance.
Jacqui assures Max that she’s perfectly capable of handling Bev. After all, she says, she handles Sammy Rogers. As far as Bev’s personality, well, that might be an attraction for the bar.
But, Max reminds her, if Sammy as much as steps out of line, Jacqui can get rid of her. Bev might get some sort of warped idea that she’s Jacqui’s business partner or something, he warns. And then, if Jacqui should ever have to get rid of Bev, it might cost her thousands in compensation.(Heaven forbid!)
Antony Murray is leaving the school grounds, well before the normal time. He slinks across the ground toward the side gate, glancing apprehensively to his right and left. As he starts to scarper, someone sternly calls out, ‘ANTONY MURRAY!’
Ant whirls around in terror, only to find his father laughing. Antony remarks that Marty nearly scared him half to death, and Marty replies by asking where Ant’s going this time of day.
Antony explains that he’s got bad stomach ache, and the his teacher has excused him to go home for the rest of the day. No problems about that, because Plank is at home, he adds.
Marty buys this explanation, and as Ant runs off, Marty calls after him, hoping he feels better.
Plank, meanwhile, has stopped by the garage for a few essentials. As he browses the aisles, making the most major decision he’ll make all day, Leanne taunts him from behind the till. She tells him that she’s seen Adele out with the Farnham children. (Er, please, someone tell me, WHEN exactly does Adele go to school? I know she’s doing AS levels this year, and she may not have to be there all day, but she DOES have to go sometime at least PART of every day?)
Max and Jacqui must be daft to trust Adele with their kids, she continues, as Plank ignores her. There’s no trusting that Adele. Look at the way she couldn’t wait to blurt to Bev about there being no film in the CCTV camera, and Leanne points to the mechanism, high on the wall. That Adele needs a serious reminder about family loyalty, especially where Christy is concerned, Leanne says.
Plank makes a few jibes about Leanne’s pathetic attempts to garner compensation, and Leanne accuses him of being cynical.
Plank laughs. He’s not cynical, he protests. He just knows his Uncle Christy. If there’s a quick quid to be had, without any work, Christy’s there with his hand out. Master of the unsuccessful scams, is Christy.
Plank plops some items on the counter from the special offer bin of two for the price of one. Leanne demands payment of £4.00.
Again, Plank protests that the offer says TWO for the price of ONE.
While stocks last, Leanne quotes from the advertising flyer.
As the two argue the point, we see the scene from the point of view of the CCTV camera, in black and white, briefly. So there WAS film in the camera all the time. Quelle surprise!
Plank maintains that the advert for the items clearly states TWO for the price of ONE and bangs two quid down on the counter, as Leanne sets up a caterwaul of complaint. The CCTV camera records everything as we are treated to another black and white shot of the scene.
As Leanne indignantly protests, Plank sneeringly laughs at her complaints, asking her what she’s going to do about his non-payment ... Call the bizzies?
He leaves, laughing, as Leanne is reduced to shouting hopelessly after him that she was going to tell his Uncle Christy, and Christy would sort Plank out!!!
Antony, meantime, hasn’t exactly taken the direct path home. He runs to the wooded area where he last saw Imelda.
I knew it couldn’t last for long. Another Brookie bed scene. This time with Mike and Rachel in the huge four-poster bed at their posh hotel. Mike flings himself off Rachel, onto his back, announcing to the world and all 3 million viewers of all ages, that he’s knackered. (Yes, Brookside, we know that they’ve had sex. Yes, Brookside, we know that sex is, sometimes, tiring. But have you ever shown that it can, sometimes, be boring as well?) He asks Rachel if she wants something to drink, and Rachel, for once being economical, asks for a cup of tea.
No, explains Mike, as his wife hasn’t quite got used to the weight of a brain in her head, he meant from the mini-bar. He saw some champers over there.
Oooh, exclaims Rachel in wonder, woan hit cos’ moon-eh?
Mike hops out of the bed, and we are treated to the sight of another nude male bum, this time Paul Byatt’s unappetising hairy ape-arse. NOT a pretty sight, Brookside, and gratuitous, to boot - and just when you were doing so WELL! As Mike pours the couple a drink, he remarks that he didn’t spend all those years being a barman for nothing.
Oooh, suggests Rachel, M-eye-ke l-eye-ked workin’ poob. Mebbe when Jac-keh b-eyes baar, ‘e could get job back -
As Mike approaches the bed, bearing the drinks, he shakes his head determinedly. If there were one thing he WASN’T about to do, it was to work again for his sister. And he didn’t want Rachel back working at the bar either.
As Rachel looks more perplexed than usual at that remark, Mike explains that if both of them worked for Jacqui and one fell out with her, then both their jobs were in jeopardy. Anyway, he soothes her, they weren’t here to talk about Jacqui. But Rachel wonders what sort of sex life Max and Jacqui have. (Personally, I’d rather bed Max Farnham than Mike Dixon - blyechhhhhh!)
Antony runs to the spot where he and Imelda tussled, his eyes carefully avoiding the pond and anything lying in it. He finds his school bag where he left it, under a nearby tree. Standing with his back deliberately to the pond, Ant closes his eyes and plaintively wails an apology, saying he’s sorry again and again.
Opening his eyes, he’s startled, for he sees Imelda, with her wet hair, walking toward him, smiling her malicious smile. Suddenly, she disappears, but reappears, coming from another direction. Antony turns frantically around, but it seems that all he can see is Imelda, with her wicked grin. With nowhere else to turn, he stands still, and still the form approaches until Imelda stands a mere arm’s length from Antony.
As the image stands in front of him, she throws her head back and greets him in a voice that’s Imelda’s, but intensified with a hollow echo: ‘Hi, Meff"!’ Then she issues a ghostly laugh as the apparition, a figment - obviously - of Antony’s imagination and disappears.
Jacqui and Max are still seated at the small bar in The Shelf, when Gary Parr enters. He greets Max and promptly asks to book a table for four people. He explains that he’s taking his staff for an evening out. Max asks Dr Parr if he’s settling into the area all right, and Dr Parr replies that everything’s fine, so far, except for the few odd local proprietors.
Jacqui and Max exchange puzzled looks, wondering whom he means, and Dr Parr clarifies his statement. He means that woman in the Garage, that Leanne.
Oh, remarks Jacqui, nonplussed, he’d do well to steer clear of that one.
Dr Parr explains that he merely went to the garage to buy a sandwich and ended up deep in the midst of a discussion about psycho-therapy. Jacqui teases him about the medical ethics of talking about his patients, but Dr Parr says Leanne is no patient of his. And did she ever become one, he’d strike himself off the register.
Jacqui asks when he’s likely to hear from the tests he ran on her that afternoon and Dr Parr confirms that he’ll have the results back in a couple of days. (What? NOT TWO WEEKS? This IS the National Health, after all!)
When he leaves, Max remarks to Jacqui that Dr Parr was a man who recognises the warning signs o fdanger and leaves instantly, referring to his run-in with Leanne. Max uses this analogy to try to warn Jacqui off buying the bar, yet again. It would be nothing but trouble, and besides, she’d only feel obligated to employ Mike and Rachel, and that would be yet another headache.
Jacqui points out that Mike already has a job and Rachel is quite satisfied doing what she’s doing. (Is she?) Max then places his hand on his wife’s thigh, and reminds her that if she buys the bar, she’ll be so busy that Max won’t get a look-in ‘upstairs’.
With that in mind, Jacqui agrees that Max is probably right about the whole thing, and she makes him promise that neither of them will further talk about Bev.
Antony is seen running from the wooded area toward the Close.
Bev’s again washing the windows of the derelict Bar, herself, when, yet again, she’s disturbed by Leanne’s mellifluous tones, echoing down The Parade. Leanne greets Bev nastily, remarking how glad she was to see Bev put in her place, cleaning the windows, herself.
Bev glances over her shoulder at Leanne’s permanently scowling face, asking Leanne from under which stone she had crawled.
Leanne counters by accusing Bev of witness-tampering. Bev pleads innocent to that charge, but Leanne goes on to remark how odd it was that all of HER witnesses to the scuffle between the two of them, suddenly changed their stories after talking to Bev.
Bev sighs in resignation and tells Leanne that what happened has happened, she couldn’t help it.
Oh, it’s a lot worse that Bev thinks, intimates Leanne, maliciously. This can go a lot further than Bev losing her business, and Leanne casts a baleful eye over the premises.She vows that she won’t stop in her pursuit of ‘justice’ until the bar was empty, filled with nothing but cobwebs, and Bev and Josh were out on the street, having lost their home.
At this moment, from the opposite direction, Jacqui and Max approach, on their way home. As Leanne’s voice carries all over Creation, they’ve heard every word she’s said, and Jacqui looks absolutely horrified, especially at the way, Bev stands silent before Leanne, her face nearly crumpling in tears.
Yes, Leanne repeats shrilly, Bev and Josh would be homeless on the street, but that was nothing new to Bev, was it?
Jacqui speaks up, interjecting: ‘Have you heard yourself?’ She asks Leanne. ‘Why don’t you just do one?’
Oooh, replies Leanne, in mock horror. She’s surprised Jacqui’s posh hubby tolerates her talking like that.
Max advises Leanne to go away, and Leanne begins to taunt him about changing his story when he clearly saw Bev hit her.
Everyone’s tired of hearing Leanne go on, says Jacqui.
Leanne tells Jacqui to shut her miserable gob. And as far as Bev was concerned, she continues, she’d give Bev a month before she was back on the street and Josh would be taken into care, because of Bev’s stupid mistake. Nothing would make Leanne happier.
Jacqui interrupts again. The only mistake Bev’s made, she points out, was leaving Leanne in charge of the bar, which was tantamount to leaving a paedophile in charge of a playgroup.
Nice speech, quips Leanne, smiling maliciously, but the bitch STILL loses her business. In fact, Leanne knows full well that Bev hasn’t yet had an offer for the place, nor any hope of one.
‘Well, that’s where you’re wrong,’ purrs Jacqui, matching Leanne’s malicious smile. ‘Because I’m buying into the business, and nothing will give me greater pleasure than to make you the first customer who gets a lifetime ban!’
Antony has reached Sitcom House and knocks frantically on the door. After awhile, Plank opens the door. He carries the telephone, deep in conversation about something being all over the television and also the radio. He finishes the conversation and asks Ant where he’s been. Ant’s suitably evasive in his reply.
But has Ant heard the news? Plank wants to know. Their dad had just rung them to tell them, but it has been all over the news on telly and radio. Imelda Clough’s only gone missing, Plank reveals.And the bizzies are concerned about her disappearance.
Antony immediately blurts out that he hasn’t seen Imelda.
The bizzies say that they’ll be talking to her schoolmates, says Plank, besides searching the area.
Again, Ant repeats that he hasn’t seen Imelda.And anyway, why would they want to talk to her schoolmates?
In case she’s done one and someone knows, explains Plank. But one thing’s for certain:When a kid that age goes missing, the bizzies take it very seriously and do everything that they can to find her.
The camera pans in closely on Ant’s frantic face.
Maurice Bessman wrote this. Another good one.
Summary © 2002 Marion Watts
Brookside and all related materials are © Mersey Television 1982-2002