Ever get the feeling, watching Brookside, that it’s a bit redundant lately? That some of the characters are past their sell-bys? Face it. We could all do without Jimmy now. He’s become more than a joke. And Nikki? IF she completes her uni course, will she become just another overqualified barmaid, dispensing psychological advice at the drop of a pound coin. Give Mike Dixon his job back there, and Bev’s Bar could boast the most educated barstaff in Liverpool. Nikki’s an axe job waiting to happen, which is a shame, because I was beginning to like Suzanne Collins’s take on her character.
Then there are Mr and Mrs Whinge, the eternally skint Dixons. Nothing’s ever their fault. They can’t imagine WHY they found themselves in this predicament. And they can’t see why Ron-Medad-Mr Dixon trusts Jacqui more than he does them. Two more candidates.
Add Jerome to the list. And Plank Murray. And the rubber-faced sex toy called Emily. And Katie Rogers.
Phil Redmond’s got to have balls enough to realise that all of the above are dead meat and prime for the soap kill. If Corrie can do it, if Eastenders can do it and do it for the better, then Brookside can follow suit.
Morning at Chateau Farnham, and the kids are feisty as Max struggles with them at the breakfast table while Jacqui tries out paint samples on the wall. At the same time, he’s trying to get Jacqui to complete her course of antibiotics for her chest infection.
Jacqui insists that she’s fine, but Max reads out the instructions on the medicine label, telling the recipient to complete the course.
In the middle of all this palaver, the phone rings. Jacqui takes the call and speaks briefly to Katie, telling Katie that she hadn’t yet made up her mind about Sammy and the job at the club, but that she would call Katie as soon as she had.
When she’s finished the call, Max asks what that was all about. It’s just Katie abusing friendship again, remarks Jacqui sarcastically, trying to get Sammy her job back.
Max advises Jacqui to steer well clear of this argument. She should never have got involved, he says. She should have left Sol to deal with the situation. Jacqui asks Max what he would have her do.
How to solve the problem? Asks Max. Well, that was simple. Jacqui calls Sol. She then tells Sol that now that she and Katie were friends again, there was no problem with keeping Sammy on.
Well, that’s what she intended to do, says Jacqui, only instead of calling Sol, she had arranged a meeting with him later in the morning. Max, however, is afraid that Jacqui will be tempted to get further involved with the running of the Club again, to the detriment of the kids.
Well, Jacqui sighs, she hadn’t really decided on what to do about Sammy anyway. It galled her to think of having that woman back, after what she’s tried to do. She was going to see Sol to tell him to sort it out his own way, but there was Katie the previous day, laying on the Louise card as thick as pig shit. Taking Sammy back, she agrees, would be like being caught between a rock and a hard place.
Across the Close at Hotel Corkhill, Jimmy strides purposefully into the lounge from outside, wearing only his denim jacket over his clothes. Dim is sitting on the sofa, a pen and a piece of paper in his hand, doing some sort of calculation.
Jimmy expostulates on the benefits of an early morning walk, giving your body a boost by stretching your legs, getting the blood cells activated. And it was cold out as well, he adds, almost as an afterthought.
Dim looks up briefly to enquire why Jimmy didn’t wrap up.
How could he? Shouts Jim. Raymundo still has his leather.
Dim remarks absently that Jimmy’s not likely to get it back.
Jimmy asks Dim what he’s so engrossed in and Dim replies smugly that he’s sorting our his loss and profit with the booze that he nicked. That’s easy, says Jim. It should be all profit because the booze was nicked.
Dim’s a bit worried because there’s too much booze to flog.
Jimmy tells him that he has to work out his market strategy. Dim, being dim, doesn’t understand.
Market strategy, urges Jimmy, like the Sopranos (giving another free plug to a Channel Four programme). Everyone wants cheap spirits, clothes and food. Remember, he tells Dim, fail to prepare and prepare to fail.
Dim’s not worried. Like Baldrick, he already has a cunning plan.
Jessie comes downstairs at that moment, asking absurdly if either Jimmy or Dim had something she could wear.
Dim jokes that she was welcome to one of Emily’s thongs. (The thought of that is enough to curl one’s stomach). Jessie ignores him and tells Jimmy that she’s on her way to the charity shop to see what they had on offer for today. She mentions that she understands that Ray’s staying at Ron Dixon’s house.
At that moment, big Dim makes a phone call on his ubiquitous mobile, while Jimmy tells Jessie that her bank manager rang - something about share certificates. Jessie violently hushes him. She doesn’t want anyone to know about those shares. Looking distractedly out the window, she wonders aloud if Ray’s warm.
Well, says Jimmy, if he’s in the Dikko’s he probably is.
That isn’t the point, argues Jess, he should be here with her. Oh, if only she hadn’t found out out of the blue that he had a daughter!
Jimmy advises her to forgive and forget - like Nikki and Jerome, he says. ‘Nice girl, your Nikki,’ he observes. ‘Mature for her years. And with a gift of the gab.’
Jessie preens and says that Nikki takes after her.
Jimmy tells her to start talking to Ray.
Ray’s standing helplessly in front of the bungalow when the milkman approaches. He tells the man that there would be no milk at the bungalow until further notice.
As the milkman leaves, Max approaches and joins Ray in staring silently at the ruin for a few minutes. He asks Ray if he has any plans to rebuild, but Ray isn’t certain. Well, observes Max, all that within the bungalow can be replaced. At least Ray was alive.
Ray agrees. He could so easily have been close to death, he says. He even saw his life flash in front of him.
As Max arrives back at the Farnham house, he catches Jacqui on the tail end of a conversation with Katie. Jacqui is firmly telling Katie NOT to put her under any pressure to reinstate Sammy, and she promises that she’s going to sort the problem out that day.
When she’s finished the conversation, Max tells her he’s just been speaking with Ray. It seems the gods really smiled down on those residents of the bungalow that night, he muses.A body never realises what good fortune he’s having until he sees someone more stressed out than he. He notices that Jacqui seems particularly stressed out and asks what’s wrong.
Jacqui tells him that Katie is trying to pressurise her into having Sammy back. She’s got to speak to Sol today, she says.
Max advises Jacqui to step back from the situation. Once she decides to inject herself into the situation and reinstate Sammy, she’s on the slippery slope to managing the Health Club again. She’s asked to make one executive decision; how long before she’ll be asked to make another?
It’s just only this once, says Jacqui, just to make sure that she and Sol agree on the procedure.
Good, Max agrees. Sol’s a good manager. Jacqui wants to keep him happy.
As Ray still stands staring at the bungalow shell, Plank Murray approaches. Like Max, he stands silently with Ray for awhile until Ray starts shaking his head and musing about the cost of repair being thousands. Looking at the lad, Ray tells him that he wants to thank him and Dim for saving their lives.
Plank goes all bashful, telling Ray that anyone would have done the same and that he was terrified. At that moment, Jessie approaches, wittering about going to the charity shop to buy some clothes. Plank leaves and Ray tells Jessie that he would see her right.
Jessie gazes after the departing Plank and remarks aloud her intention to get him and Tim a gift - but together, with Ray.
Ray tells Jessie in a short tone that the electricity has been officially turned off in the bungalow. Jessie responds by saying that it was nice of the Dixons to let Ray stay. A bigger bed at Jimmy’s would be nice, she continues. Then she could fit Ray in. Suddenly, she says what she means to say - that she can’t hold Ray’s past against him. She’d like to just thump him one and forget the thing. Anyway, it was about time the two of them had a cup of tea and sorted out the insurance list.
Plank has made a beeline for Hotel Corkhill, where he’s giving Dim an appraisal of the current bullying situation. His folks were in hopes that the bullying had stopped and that Ant would toughen up a bit, at least his dad was.
Dim, however, is only focused on one thing - shifting the booze. His cunning plan is to ferry it around pubs selling it. Plank thinks that’s mighty risky and so does Jimmy, who overhears the plans. It’s full of risk, he says.
He suggests that the lads load Plank’s car and ask punters at pubs discretely if they’re interested in buying bottled whiskey. Then maybe the punters might know of some other pubs where there would be some interest and so on.
Dim suggests that they fill boxes with bottles, but Jimmy intercedes again. Best they go into pubs with the booze in BAGS, he advises.
Again, Plank thinks the plan is too risky.
Jimmy is deadly serious, however. Ignore petty details, he tells cocky Dim, and near as damn it, you’ll get nicked. Now there are two things the lads need to know:-
1) Only deal in cash, Jim says. No credit cards, so that means no dealing with women.
2) No pay-later plan. No money, no whiskey. Simple.
Jacqui has arrived at the Health Club for her meeting with Sol. As he ushers her into the manager’s office, he’s advising her that he’s costed out the new membership marketing drive. Jacqui tells him to get some quotes together and they’ll talk, but now she wants to talk to him about staffing matters.
Sol asks if Jacqui wants to sit in the manager’s chair.
Next we have an entirely ridiculous scene between Plank and Dim, where Dim’s explaining to Plank about the Nostradamus book Emily is reading . Nostradamus lived more than 500 years ago, yet he could predict the future. Why, says Tim, he even predicted the demolition of the WTC. And here we have ANOTHER trivial reference to
9/11. I wonder if the Brookside people are cognizant of the fact that they have managed to trivialise what happened on that day when a Liverpool family lost a member in the disaster. I don’t suppose the Gilligans like the WTC crash to be likened to Nikki Shadwick losing her job or Dim and Plank selling off stolen booze.
They put the booze in a bag and chat about Nostradamus and horoscopes some more, before arguing about who goes inside to flog the booze. Real interesting.
Jacqui and Sol are discussing Sammy. Sol is telling Jacqui that he honestly thought Sammy was the best-qualified candidate for the job. He had no idea about her past history with Jacqui.
Jacqui admits that she had an ueasy feeling, when she returned and found Sammy at work on reception. Sol admits that Sammy was pushy about wanting the job. Sol is pushy too, observes Jacqui. And so is she.
Sol continues. Sammy was polite to everyone and good with the marketing. Oh, what the hell, Sol finishes. He screwed up. He didn’t realise that there was a domestic issue involved with Sammy and Jacqui. He tells Jacqui that he travels 140 miles round trip daily to do this job and he’d previously enjoyed it. Now he makes this one error and he doesn’t know where he stands.
Jacqui surprises him by telling him that if he wants to reinstate Sammy, that was OK with her. But Sammy’s coming back was all down to him, she warns. She hopes Sammy is worth it.
As she prepares to leave, Sol asks why she’s had a change of heart.
‘It’s a long story,’ says Jacqui.
Jessie and Ray, inside Hotel Corkhill, are going over the bungalow residents’ insurance lists. Ray is amazed at the size of Jerome’s claim. Well, Jess sighs, she reckons it’s a fiddle. She never realised the lad had so much stuff. Still, the insurance will soon tell him what he can have and what he can’t. Jess reckons she’d best ring the insurance agent and tell them they were ready for an assessment. She asks Ray where he put the telephone number.
Absently, Ray replies that the number’s in the blue insurance folder. While he makes a pot of tea, Jessie opens the folder, looking for the number and spies a photo of Sylvia Morgan.
Dim and Plank are full of their own success. They’ve managed to make a rousing £38.00. Dim witters on about ‘Nostradamus rules’ and tells Plank how Nostradamus predicted the last eclipse, and both world wars. He suddenly realises something. Too bad they hadn’t heisted this job before Christmas. That’s when everybody wanted booze. Well, they would just have to make sure that their next booze job was right before Christmas.
What next job? Asks Plank. He reiterates that he’s just a mechanic who got side-tracked.
Side-tracked into making money, says Dim.
Sammy is ushered into Sol’s office. Briefly and to the point, he asks her to consider this opportunity as one to get her job back. Sammy is surprised. Sol explains that he and Jacqui had talked and Jacqui had left the ultimate decision up to him. Now the ball was in Sammy’s court, all down to her. But he wanted her to know that she had caused him considerable embarrassment with her behaviour. She had really stitched him up, and he didn’t like being set up like that.
Jessie is going at poor Ray hammer and tongs about the secret photo. There they were at Hotel Corkhill, she screams, all saying she had been too judgemental of poor, old Ray. Forgive and forget, they said, like Nikki said, like a good little girl and there’ll be company and Apple Charlotte for tea. Then what happens? She finds a photo of a floozie!
It’s just a photo, protests Ray, lamely.
Just a photo! Shouts Jess. Well, she had no photo left of her Greg of Jason!
Ray protests that it’s the only photo he has left of Sylvia.
Dim and Plank have a meaningless scene where they have to offload booze quick before a landlord returns.
Sammy is profusely apologising to Sol for her behaviour. She really does need this job, she says. She honestly thought she could fix things with Jacqui.
Sol tells her that he could have walked out of the place - because of her actions, Jacqui had made him look like an idiot. If Sammy stays, she has to make a go of the job, get along with the professional staff.
Sammy promises. After all, this new start is more for her daughter than for herself.
And if she does come back, says Sol, ominously, make sure she treats him with respect.
Dim and Plank have got cocky at the next drop. They’re headed back to the car with their profit, when they see a gang of kids lifting some of the booze stored on the back seat. They chase the youngsters off and ascertain that only a couple of bottles have been taken.
Sammy Rogers now approaches the front door at Chateau Farnham. Max, about to leave, opens the door. Sammy greets him and asks if Jacqui’s about. Max raises his eyebrows quizzically and remarks that Jacqui’s busy. Anyway, he thought Sammy would have approached to United Nations about contacting the Farnhams.
Jacqui appears from behind Max, carrying Emma. Sammy begins by saying that she only came to thank Jacqui.
Jacqui eyes her warily and Max looks at her with disgust. Anyway, he says, taking Harry by the hand, he’s off out with Harry. He’ll leave Jacqui to deal with her staff in her own way.
Once he’s gone, Jacqui reiterates to Sammy that she and Max might not be together now if Sammy’s sick plan had worked.
Jessie and Ray are still having it out. Despondently, Jessie wails and asks Ray why he’s kept the photo of Sylvia?
Well, he begins, lamely, he kept it primarily to look at, especially when he was having a bad day with Reenie.
Oh, he had a fling and he kept the girl’s photo! Remarks Jess, sarcastically. Why, people do that sort of thing all the time! Did he look at it since he’d been with Jess? She asks.
Ray can’t meet her eyes. Only when Helen came looking for him, he admits.
Dim and Plank have resolved not to put anymore booze on the back seat of the car. Instead, it would all be kept in the boot. And they would go out tonight and split their profit.
The elderly couple have now calmed down a bit, after Ray has been out for awhile and returned. Jess asks him contritely if he’ll ask Mike and Rachel if it’s OK for Jess to move in. Pride dented, Ray says he’ll ask, but it might be awkward.
The two wayward lads return at that moment, and Ray stops the pair of them, saying he has a gift for them for saving their lives. It’s from him and Jessie, he adds, and scurries inside Jimmy’s house.
Jessie asks the lads what they’d been doing. Simultaneously, they reply, ‘nothing’ and ‘this and that’. Jess eyes them suspiciously. If they really put a mind to it, she says, they could have jobs tomorrow. Ray finally emerges from the house and hands the lads a bag, containing some booze for their efforts.
The boys look at one another awkwardly. They are speechless.
As they leave, Jess suggests that Ray now ring the insurers about an assessment. She briefly apologises, saying that she overreacted about the photo.
No bother, says Ray. He planned on giving the photo to Helen.
Jessie gazes after him suspiciously.
Jacqui is still making Sammy squirm on her doorstep. For Sammy’s information, Jacqui says, it wasn’t HER choice for Sammy to come back to work. She delegated that decision to Sol. There would be no WAY she would tolerate working with Sammy Rogers. And for Sammy’s information, it was only because of Louise that Jacqui even allowed herself to entertain reinstating Sammy. Did Sammy really think that Jacqui would want to keep her on otherwise.
Well, she continues, Sammy’s played her Louise card once and once only. She’s on her last chance from here on out, and Jacqui would be gunning for that chance. And in the future, Sammy wasn’t to come knocking on her door with special favours. She wanted to keep a strictly owner-employee relationship when it comes to Sammy.
Sammy leaves in tears of humiliation.
Summary © 2002 Marion Watts
Brookside and all related materials are © Mersey Television 1982-2002