I’ve been looking at the Official Forum site a lot lately, and there seems to be a plethora of opinion against Brookside continuing with the likes of Dimily, Plank, ‘Dr’ Nikki and Jerome. According to the ubiquitous Ed, who moderates the site, TPTB are in tune with sentiment appearing on that board and value the opinion highly. Alas, that doesn’t mean they follow that opinion. For some reason, insulting to the few intelligent viewers left, Redmond & Co seem hellbent on making this the Tim’n Em Show featuring Plank Murray. Why? They maintain that Brookside isn’t being dumbed down, but - for all intents and purposes - it is.
Some arsehole of the First Degree on the all-but-dead Newsgroup (and that’s degenerated, like Brookside, into a mire of soft porn), says that sometime in the spring, there will be a late-night episode of Brookside, in which the untalented and singularly plastic Ms Ellison appears totally nude. As Annabelle reiterated on her site, the sooner Ms Ellison bares all her genitalia to the panting male public, the better - but please, let it NOT be on Brookside. It’s good to know that NOW Brookside fears Eastenders, because it should mean that they will be taking much more note of Eastenders and (hopefully) copying some of its style. After all, Eastenders is a successful soap, n’est-ce pas? I mean, I don’t hear The Guardian referring to Eastenders as an ‘irrelevance’ to the BBC!
As Jacqui Dixon walks along The Parade in the direction of the Health Club, she’s accosted by Katie, who runs to join her. In the background, we see Bev unlocking the bar, with Rachel dancing attendance.
Katie wants a word with Jacqui - about Sammy’s job, precisely. Jacqui fobs her off, saying that she has nothing to say on that score; besides, she’s off to have a meeting with Sol. She wondered how long it would be before Sammy would strongarm Katie into trying to get Sammy her job back.
Katie maintains that all she wants is a word with Jacqui about it.
Jacqui briefly glances over her shoulder at a visibly harassed Bev. Why doesn’t Sammy ask Bev for a job? She suggests. She’s sure Bev will need a cleaner. Honestly, Leanne’s ruined that place!
Seeing the pleading look on Katie’s face, Jacqui agrees to see Katie after she’s had a meeting with Sol.
Bev is moaning to Rachel as the two enter the bar about how Leanne’s treated her in her absence. Robbed her blind! She exclaims. Took her money, her credit, her good name! What Bev can’t fathom is why no one told her what was going on here! (Well, probably because no one knew where Bev was!)
Oooh, says Rachel, they all tr-eye-d ter tell tha’ Leanne’n Christ-eh tha’ whut they werrre doin’ wouldn’t werrk. They all tr-eye-d - Lance, Nikki, her ...
Jimmy returns to Hotel Corkhill, bearing a bag of clothing. He finds ‘Dr’ Nikki and Jerome lounging about the front room. He opens the bag and tosses four pairs of boxer shorts in Jerome’s direction. On special. Four for £1.00. And socks. And he tosses a few pairs of socks in Jerome’s direction as well.
Jerome is wearing one of Jimmy’s shirts, remarking how everything seems to clash with that shirt.
Well, replies Jim, he’d lent his best gear to Ray and Jessie.
Nikki is sitting on the lounge wearing a skimpy top that’s about three bra sizes too big for her - proof positive that Ellison has had a boob job. Jerome laughs about Nikki being reduced to wearing Emily’s clubbing gear.
Nikki replies that she’s going down to the charity shop that afternoon to see what they had on offer. Jerome replies that he’ll have his bingo money by the end of the week; anyway, they would soon be quids in with their insurance claim. He’d already totted up £7K’s worth of gear.
Jimmy thinks that’s a bit steep, but Jerome is confident. There was his clothes, telly, stereo, shoes ...
Ah, says the Sage, but one has to prove the loss!
Bev and Rachel stand in the middle of the bar, gazing about helplessly. Bev remarks that she’d better start by scrubbing the floors first. She’d just been to Josh’s school, where she was made to grovel to the headmaster to get Josh’s place back. She was made to feel like one shit parent, taking the kid out of school with no warning and now coming back, again without warning, expecting to find a place.
Not only that, she continues, she’s skint to the bone.
Oooh, says Rachel, hit caaan’t be as baaaad as all tha’.
But it is, says Bev. Because of Leanne, she’s lost everything. Oh, she had a few thousand put by for Josh, in the event that he wanted to go to university, but everything else is gone. She supposes she’ll just have to dip into Josh’s fund -
Ooooh, interrupts Rachel, whose brain is struggling to get into first gear. Boot Bev couldn’t do tha’! (Rachel, being incapable of remembering that she and Mike had, in fact, done just that with Beth’s savings).
Anyway, says Bev, the headmaster started doing a song and dance about Bev not having anyone whom the school could contact in the event of an emergency and Bev was unavailable.
Ooooh, says Rachel, Bev could give school hers and M-eye-ke’s noombers. After all, M-eye-ke is Josh’s dad.
Nikki, Jimmy and Jerome are still discussing the likelihood of the young couple getting some money back on their insurance claim. Jimmy tells them that they had better say a prayer that Jessie’s policy covered all that they had listed - or if Jessie’s policy covered them at all.
Ray’s giving his trailer a polish when Mike Dixon walks toward him, eyeing the destroyed bungalow. Mike greets Ray and asks if he’s planning on rebuilding. Ray’s not sure. He’s not ready to think about that just yet. Anyway, how was the flood damage?
Oh, you know, says Mike, they’d been using the dehumidifiers. Was Ray warm enough in the caravan?
Well, Ray admits, he has his blankets, but it was freezing in there. Mike invites Ray around to the Farnhams’ for some tea.
Meanwhile at the Farnhams’, the Farnhams, themselves, are having a conversation. Jacqui has told Max about Katie approaching her that morning. She’s also telling Max how Sol persuaded Sammy that her best option would be to leave. Max is about to have a shower and Jacqui tells him she’ll be up in a moment to scrub his back.
Max puts his arms around his wife and asks her how much longer they had to put up with Mike and Rachel’s presence in the house.
Jacqui is hopeful that it won’t be much longer. In fact, the sooner they left, the better. They were wearing their welcome thin. Max suggests that he and Jacqui get a bit dirty before having a shower.
Rachel, meanwhile, is preparing to leave Bev’s Bar. She tells Jimmy, who’s just arrived, that M-eye-ke would be woond’rin where she was.
Jimmy volunteers to remain with Bev for awhile and asks how she is. Rachel replies that Bev’s subject to mood swings.
Bev enters the room at that moment, in full wail. The state of things to return to! She exclaims, indignantly. The brewery doesn’t want to know her now! When she bought this bar, she wanted to turn it into a place where people would want to come and congregate, not just a bar where people went to booze and get legless.
Now, she’s gone six months and she’s got no earnings and no nest egg - and all because of Christy and Leanne. And not only that, she’s three months behind in the rent for her flat, which is all filled with Leanne’s, Christy’s and Lance’s rubbish. Oh, the lot of them.
Rachel speaks up tentatively, saying that Bev shouldn’t blame Lance.
No, says Jimmy, Lance defended Bev to the hilt.
In fact, adds Rachel, Christy sacked Lance for doing just that. Christy was behind everything. It was Lance who stood up to Christy and Leanne and Lance who paid the price.
Nikki and Jerome are seated before the all-singing all-dancing Corkhill computer, gazing at a list Jimmy has compiled for Jessie and Ray, listing what was lost in the fire. Nikki reckons that the old laptop left in her bedroom would have melted in the blaze. Jerome remarks that it was good he didn’t go directly to bed for a kip.
Back at the bar, Bev’s having a moan to Jimmy, relating the incident with Josh’s headmaster that morning. He made her feel as though she was caught behind the bike sheds. But at least at the end of the interview, Josh got his place back. Oh, she hated it when people like that headmaster thought themselves better than others.
All Bev needs is a little self-belief, says The Sage, sensing another willing disciple about to join the fold.
Bev admits that she’s a big softie at heart. That’s why she’s taken in by people, like Leanne, Lance, Christy and Dave Burns.
Well, it’s time she learned to look after Numero Uno first, she vows, and not to trust anyone else.
There’s a brief, boring scene between Tim and Plank., discussing something about selling the booze they stole; but it was so inconsequential, that I’ve forgotten the gist of it. No great loss.
Jerome and Nikki gaze in wonder at Jessie’s list on the computer, with Jimmy stood in the background.Nikki can’t believe Jessie’s wealth. Why, she actually had share certificates.
For what? Jimmy asks.
British Gas, replies Nikki.
Oh, Jimmy remembers that scheme. ‘TELL SID!’ He shouts the catchphrase. That was when all this privatisation started.
They must be worth thousands for Jessie, muses Nikki, greedily.
The Mekon enters the room, glancing casually out the window. She remarks to Jimmy that Ray’s out at the caravan and he looks frozen. Jimmy spontaneously suggests that someone tell Ray to come in.
Nikki remarks that Ray wouldn’t do that. He would be too offended.
Emily remarks callously that he deserves to freeze.
Nikki upbraids the little plastic arsehole, telling her that she’s too hard on Ray.
Madam remarks self-righteously that Ray abandoned his daughter, as well as cheating on his wife.
Things were different in those days, Nikki attempts to explain. Ray did what he had to do in the end.
Emily then, assuming she knows everything and not realising that she’s talking out of her arsehole, which is probably as orange and plastic as the rest of her body, pontificates about Ray’s ‘poor abandoned kid’.
Well, Ray was back in touch with Helen now, says Nikki, and she, for one, would like to meet Helen. In a bizarre way, they were all related by marriage. Nikki assumes a luminescent halo as she tells all present that they were being too judgemental with regard to Ray. Life is too short, says Saint Nikki, and there’s enough hatred in this world.
DimEm argues unflinchingly, as is her narrow mind, that Ray cheated on his wife.
He’s a man, says Nikki, not a programme.
Jimmy interjects a ‘survival of the fittest’ remark, and Emily finishes the argument by saying that Ray should have kept what he had in his trousers.
Mike and Rachel have brought Ray inside and seated him at the Farnham kitchen table. Mike is playing mein host, whilst Rachel pours some of the Farnhams’ tea into a cup for Ray.
At that moment, a laughing Jacqui and Max, fresh from the shower in their bathrobes, enter the room and are struck dumb with Mike and Rachel offering their hospitality to Ray.
Nikki and Jerome have re-entered the burned out bungalow to have yet another look around. Jerome has come to see if he can find his silver chain that was lost in the fire. Nikki reckons that there’s no chance of finding it. Being in that place, she says, sends a shiver down her spine. Just imagine, she muses, Ray, Jessie and Jerome could have been killed. Just look at the state of that armchair, she points out, indicating a burned out piece of furniture.
Jerome is determined to find his chain. It was an eighteenth birthday present from his dad, he says.
Nikki reckons that Jerome’s dad would have wanted him to buy a new one. His dad, she says, would be glad Jerome was safe that night. She knows that Greg would be glad. Her dad virtually built that bungalow, she muses. (Well, no, actually, he didn’t. He renovated it, but he didn’t build it.)
Jerome suddenly wonders how Nikki would be coping if he had died in that fire. Nikki gives some half-wit answer about wondering if they would have got married, had kids etc. (Why has no one mentioned Jerome’s mother in all this? And why doesn’t he go to stay with her?)
Rachel is seated in the Farnham lounge, talking with Ray, whilst Mike is in the kitchen with Jacqui. Jacqui is upbraiding Mike for walking around the house in his boxer shorts. Mike has an issue to raise with Jacqui. Ray mentioned that Max and Jacqui only gave him and Jessie £500.
Yes, says Jacqui, distractedly, that was true.
Well, says Mike, in high dudgeon. Didn’t Jacqui think it more sensible to sort out her own family first, before handing money over to neighbours? He and Rachel could have done very nicely with that £500, thank you very much!
Jacqui narkily tells Mike that if he and Rachel had been in need of anything, they had only to ask. After all, they WERE staying with her and Max.
Well, demands Mike, Jacqui could start by giving Rachel her cleaning job back. (You know, the cleaning job that Rachel didn’t want at the end of the day and Mike refused to let her have again?)
Well, replies Jacqui, if it were down to her, she would; but the truth is that Great Grannies was going down the pan. She was going to wind it up. And before Mike starts accusing her of doing something wrong, Jacqui informs him, the business was in trouble before Ron went on trial.
Looking over Mike’s shoulder, Jacqui jokes that Rachel seems to have adopted Ray. Ray tells Jacqui that Mike says the Dixon place is almost dry now.
Oh? Jacqui feigns surprise, so that means Mike and Rachel will be moving back to Number Eight soon.
Oooh, says Rachel, exchanging a worried look with Mike, ‘It’s no’ dr-eye noof fer Beth yet, she says. Jac-keh wouldn’t wan’ Beth gettin h-eye-po-thermia. They planned on moving in a bit later.
Well, asks Jacqui directly, how soon before they do move?
Oooh, says Rachel, nooth-eh week, any rood.
Another boring scene with Dim and Plank, discussing the feasibility of entering a criminal partnership. There’s still ale to be sold and Dim is hectoring Plank into off-loading a mess (in the Southern sense of the word) of it. Plank is reluctant. At least he’s clever enough to know his short-comings in the sales field. Anyway, all he wants is enough dough to start his own mobile mechanics business (but that doesn’t mean he knows anything about VAT, taxes, accountants etc). Plank whines about only wanting to drive the car, but Dim won’t hear of it.
Back at Chateau Farnham, it’s practically as busy as Lime Street Station. Rachel and Ray have cosied down on the Farnham sofa, engrossed in a decorating book. Mike is pfaffing about in the background doing nothing and Jacqui is looking irritable and harassed. The doorbell rings. As no one seems bothered to answer it, Jacqui stomps through the crowded lounge area and answers the door, to find Katie waiting for her. She looks a bit puzzled for a moment, before Katie reminds her that she had agreed to see Katie after having a meeting with Sol.
Jacqui invites her in and leads her through the busy lounge into the kitchen area. She asks how Katie’s faring and Katie replies that she’s often still depressed and wobbly. Sometimes things are OK, then she receives a set-back - such as when Jacqui sacked Sammy, her sister, although, Katie adds, Sammy probably deserved it.
Well, retorts Jacqui, who did Sammy think she was anyway? Swanning back into town and immediately trying to break up Jacqui’s marriage? Then lying to her manager in order to get a job! That was certainly rich of her! Did she think that Jacqui would really consider employing her?
Katie replies tentatively that Jacqui has to think of the consequences of NOT employing Sammy.
Nikki Shadwick, the budding psychiatrist-cum-social worker-cum Mother Theresa is having a moment alone with Jimmy the Sage. She comes upon the Sage lost in a daze and remarks to him that he looks as if he’s in a trance. (Psst! Watch out for the levitation trick!)
Oh, Jimmy replies, jolted from his reverie, he was just recalling that it was about a year ago this week that he was released from the mental hospital.
Well, that’s good, says Nikki the expert on all things mental. Jim’s got a good full year of freedom behind him. There are lots in his situation who just can’t cope, she reminds him.
But, Jimmy explains passionately, he wants to LIVE not COPE (he’s sounding like Sonia on Eastenders when she suddenly found herself with a baby). Oh, he thinks he’s living, but he has his doubts.
Nikki confesses shyly that she’s really proud of Jimmy (as if this Jimmy is her own creation).
Jimmy gazes down at Nikki’s shyly drooping head, seeing the girl with a new perspective. He remarks, knowingly, that whilst others seem to merely patronise him, Nikki treats him differently. Nikki (wait for it) UNDERSTANDS him.
Nikki tells Jimmy that he shouldn’t worry about what others might think. He needs to think about himself, first.
Jimmy observes that Nikki is wise beyond her years. (Forgive me while I have a laugh and a cough!) And Jimmy knows what ‘wise’ is - especially after having lived a lifetime with ‘stupid’, ‘ignorant’ and ‘thick’. (Now, he wouldn’t be talking about Jackie, Lindsey and Kylie, would he?)
Suddenly, Nikki begins to cry.
Back at Chateau Farnham full house, Katie and Jacqui are still conflabbing in the kitchen, whilst the lounge is filled to over-flowing. Katie is trying to persuade Jacqui to give Sammy a second chance. The truth of the matter is that Sammy desperately needs the money.
Mike, lounging lackadaisically on the sofa with Ray and Rachel, shouts out to Jacqui, ordering her to put the kettle on for some tea.
Katie gives the lot a withering look and remarks to Jacqui sympathetically that they looked as though they were settled for the day. Katie apologises to Jacqui again for Sammy’s actions and Jacqui interrupts her, telling Katie that she, Jacqui, is really sorry too. But can Katie put herself in Jacqui’s position? ‘What if our Michael and me’ad tried to break up your marriage?’ She asks Katie. ‘And then, here I come, begging you to give Mike a job? You wouldn’t, would you?’
Max suddenly enters the melee, clearly puzzled at the motley crew inhabiting his house. Mike shouts out for another tea for Max, but then tells Max to be quiet, as Ray has fallen asleep.
Max’s face is a picture of annoyance.
Jimmy the Sage has managed to still Dr Nikki’s tears. He asks if she’s OK, and she replies that that one moment made her think of her dad. She’s only just realising how much she misses him, how precious he and Jason were to her. Greg would have most likely described her as ‘wise’.
Jimmy remarks that Nikki probably gets her wisdom from Jessie.
Nikki replies that Jessie hasn’t been too wise, of late, with Ray, and Jimmy’s been no better, she accuses him. It makes her want to scream, everyone going on about the poor, little girl who lost her dad. Now everyone’s saying that he shouldn’t see her.
Jimmy reasons that Ray walked away from his responsibilities. That was hard to forgive. (Be real. If Jimmy had got caught in a similar situation whilst married to Jackie, he would have caught hell and run for miles).
Nikki points out that she’s forgiven Jerome. She thought that if you loved someone, you could forgive them anything.
Jimmy asks if she loves Jerome, but Nikki’s not sure. All the feelings she has for him, she simply isn’t sure what they are.
Then, reckons the Sage, maybe she hasn’t really forgiven him. Maybe she’s just waiting for him to slip up again.
But that’s nothing to do with Ray’s situation, argues Nikki. As far as she’s concerned, if Helen wants to see Ray, then they should all pull for them. She says that if she were given any chance to get her dad back, she’d do anything.
Jimmy puts his arm around her comfortingly. Of course, all this is witnessed by nosey Madam, who puts a different gloss on the embrace.
Jacqui walks Katie through the lounge to the front door, past a noisily snoring Ray and a lolligagging Mike and Rachel. Katie makes one final plea. If Jacqui can’t re-hire Sammy for Sammy’s sake, then do it for Louise. All this is a big climb-down for Louise, she says. Her parents have split, she’s had to leave her home and her school. Then she gets some good news, and her world falls apart again.
Katie pulls Jacqui’s trick and asks her to try to imagine Harry in such a predicament.
Jacqui appears to relent, as Katie asks her to give Sammy another chance.
Summary © 2002 Marion Watts
Brookside and all related materials are © Mersey Television 1982-2002