The Unbearable Arrogance of Brookside Women
That’s the title of this summary, and boy do they abound in this episode! Whereas the previous ep was a diatribe against men, that was equally dismissive in the end about women, this one shows the consequences of extreme arrogance, or hubris, as the Greeks call it, in women. In fact, the only female to come out ‘more sinned against than sinning’ tonight was Emily, and even she showed a minuscule arrogant turn of sorts.
It’s the day of Saint Clint the Flint’s funeral, and Rachel is making herself ready, amidst Mike’s protests about her going at all. Not that she pays him any mind, mind you - she never has - content as she is to look sad and paint herself as a bullied wife. Rachel should open her doe-eyes and realise that the only person bullying her at all is Katie. She reiterates her reasons for going to the funeral, yet again, to Mike. Katie NEEDS her.
Anthea, the patron saint of arrogant women, contributes her tuppence to the argument. Not only is Rachel attending the funeral, but Anthea’s going with her. Rachel supports Katie and Anthea supports Rachel. Well, that’s that then, remarks Mike. They’ve made their minds up. From where Mike’s standing, it looks as though the two women have thrown their lots in with the Moffatts in this situation, sided with them.
Rachel says she’s not taking sides with anyone, and Anthea chimes in that today’s gesture was about paying respects to someone who’s died. Speaking of death, Mike reminds his stepmother that Robbie Moffatt is sure to attend, and he was capable of anything. She would be well-advised to remember that Robbie tried to have her killed. Anthea glances at him over her shoulder, smugly confident. She didn’t think Robbie was responsible for that at all. (Well, several weeks ago, she did. Now she’s just trying to be awkward for awkwardness’s sake, probably to prove what idiots Mike and Ron were). She felt that they would be perfectly safe.
Mick Johnson sits like a bear with a sore head in his lounge, staring moodily into space. Emily bounces (literally) down the stairs, remarking how quiet the house is now that Yvonne had left. Mick ticks her off for that remark and stalks away.
Chez Murray, Marty and Diane sit in what appears to be the garage (well, they tell me HAS been hot here), working out their finances in preparation for a second attempt at IVF. The situation looks hopeless. Marty has calculated the figures countless times (pun intended), and every penny is accounted for. There’s quite simply no room for manoeuvre. He looks at Diane.
Marty reckons that they were better off staying where they were - at least, in their old house, they didn’t have a mortgage the size of Third World debt. Diane reminds him that they needed a bigger home.She’s got ‘Baby on the Brain’ syndrome again, so she adds that if they had stayed in their old home and had a baby, they would only have to move then. Anyway, she was prepared to get a second job, if the situation warranted it.
Marty refuses to consider that option. Diane had to be in peak condition for this procedure. His wife giggles (actually, it IS more like the whinny of a mare) and jokes that he makes her sound like a racehorse. The couple have to raise an extra £1000. Marty is confident that he’ll find it somewhere, even if he had to take on three extra jobs. Diane asks if she can have a go fiddling the figures.
The taxi has arrived to take Rachel and Anthea to the funeral. Anthea is apprehensive and in a hurry to leave, lest Ron return and discover where they were going, thus kicking off. (It’s real tough, Anthea, to keep secrets from your husband). Mike advises them that if Robbie Moffatt’s there and causes trouble, don’t say that he didn’t warn them. Anthea scoffs at that warning, saying with smug superiority that she’s certain that Robbie wouldn’t cause bother at his brother’s funeral. (Anthea, Robbie’s not just a thug; he’s a sociopath. He’ll cause bother ANYWHERE). Before they depart, Rachel asks Mike how he’s going to explain their whereabouts to Ron.
Reluctantly Mike remarks that he’s going to have to lie for them, isn’t he? He can’t have his dad make himself ill over their determination. He’ll tell Ron that the two of them have gone downtown shopping. Anthea remarks callously that that’s the first sensible thing Mike’s said all day. (What a bitch! And what regard she has for her stepchildren! She encourages Rachel to lie, defy and keep secrets from her husband; and the first thing Mike says with which she agrees is a bare-faced lie. How nice to know her regard for the truth. And yet SHE wouldn’t consider lying for her husband).
They leave.
Tim and Emily sit despondently on the sofa at Mick’s. Tim is wondering why Yvonne left and if she’ll come back. Emily isn’t sure, but one thing she does know - Yvonne didn’t seem too keen on Mick the last time she spoke to her. It was she, Emily, who had to convince her to accept his proposal. Well, Tim concedes that Mick’s in a foul mood, and it might be a good idea to give him a wide berth for awhile. Emily bestows a superior look on Tim, acknowledging that SHE knows all about how to handle Mick Johnson.
At that moment, Mick enters the room, asking them sarcastically if they had grown into the couch. Emily quickly tells Mick that Tim’s going to the shops. He can pick up a few things for Mick if he needs them. Mick doesn’t need anything, thank you. Emily then offers to tidy the house up for Mick, an offer which he accepts. It looks as though Emily hasn’t tidied the house up much before, because she has to ask Mick where the cleaning goods are, to which he snappishly asks her how long she’s lived there. Emily quickly gets up and goes off in search of the stuff.
After she leaves, Mick advises Tim that Tim should keep Emily on ‘a tight lead’. He tells Tim that Emily isn’t all the sweetness and light she pretends to be. In fact, the minute Tim’s back is turned, she’ll have him for a mug, like all women.
Ron Dixon returns home with a brochure about alarm systems. Mike tells him he already has one installed, but Ron reminds him that it was ROBBIE who installed it, so ROBBIE would know how to de-activate it. Ron wants a new one, top of the range. Mike asks why he doesn’t just change the code, but Ron’s afraid Robbie would suss that too. He asks the whereabouts of Anthea.
Mike lies and tells him that Anthea and Rachel have gone downtown shopping. Ron is concerned that they didn’t take Beth, but Mike said they left her with Jessie Shadwick. (Wonder if they lied to Jess? Hmmm ... Jess saw Ma Moffatt make her entrance the other day. Wonder if she’ll tell Ron?)
The Murrays are still mulling over their budget. Even Diane can’t make the figures add up. In short, they are skint ... Like Rachel and Mike ... Like Tim and Em. Nothing but a lottery win would help them; in fact, she suggests buying lottery tickets (this is sounding remarkably Banksian - wasn’t that what started Rosie on her road to perdition?) Marty confesses that he stopped buying lottery tickets months ago in an effort to economise. Diane agrees that it’s just like throwing good money after bad.
She intimates that they can’t even ask the Plank to float them a loan now that he’s jobless. She feels rotten about him and Trona breaking up. But, she muses, he was living another person’s life with her - Dockside condos, designer clothes, silly haircuts etc. Marty’s glad the Plank found out what a Daddy’s girl Trona was. But Diane points out that, with Steve jobless, they are now £50 worse off a month than before, as they couldn’t ask him for board.
Marty jokes that he’ll have to sell his body and Diane retorts they’d have a better chance of a win at bingo.
The doorbell rings at the Dixon house and Ron answers it. No one’s there, but he finds a large wreath propped against the wall of the house. It’s a funeral wreath, bearing the banner ‘R.I.P.’ Ron screams for Mike.
Emily Shadwick is removing a packet of processed ham slices from the Johnson fridge, when Mick enters. He questions what she’s doing, and Emily tells him that she’s cleaning the fridge. Mick knows better and accuses her of stealing food. Emily denies this, saying that she WAS cleaning the fridge and wanted to check the ‘sell-by’ dates on the food. Mick calls her a liar, at which Emily confesses that she was taking the ham slices.
Emily is hungry, she’s starving (although one is hard put to believe that judging by her appearance). She and Tim are skint. She was going to pay him back for the ham, honest. Mick coldly reminds her that she and Tim pay for a room only, not room and board (which is odd, considering the fact that not long ago, Emily prepared the evening meal for the Johnsons, n’est-ce pas?)
Mick tells her that she and Tim are a pair of lying, thieving scallies, who wouldn’t know the truth if it jumped up and bit them in the backside. Too right, she’ll pay him back.
Ron is showing the wreath to Mike. Mike is wondering who left it. Ron didn’t see anyone, but he’s sure that it’s a gift from Robbie Moffatt. In fact, says Ron, it’s a warning. Robbie had sworn revenge on a member of Ron’s family. Ron remarks that he’s glad Anthea’s not here; she’d had more than her share of grief lately.
Looking uneasy, Mike confesses that Anthea and Rachel have, in fact, gone to Clint’s funeral. He tried to stop them, but they were determined to go in order to support Katie. He promised them he wouldn’t tell Ron where they were. Ron, needless to say, is horrified.
‘Anthea’s walking into the lion’s den, and you did nothing to stop her!’
Never mind, says Mike. Rachel’s got her mobile. They left about an hour ago. All he has to do is ring her and tell her of the latest occurrence, asking that she come home. Ron tells him that’s easier said than done, considering the fact that Rachel’s mobile has been left behind on one of the living room chairs. Ron and Mike have to get to the funeral, and fast - there’s no telling what that ‘psycho Robbie’ might do. (For once, Ron Dixon is VERY right).
The taxi carrying Rachel and Anthea arrives at the church. Anthea asks Rachel if she’s absolutely sure she wants to go through with this. Rachel confirms that she is. She doesn’t want to let Katie down. Anthea remarks that it took courage for Ma Moffatt to come to the Dixon house the other day, even with Mike kicking off. (No. It was stupid. Surely the Moffatts were issued with a court order, forbidding them within a certain radius of the Dixon home; and surely, it’s part of Ron’s conditions of bail that none of his family hover about the Moffatts). Anthea wants to attend the funeral so that the Moffatts could see that the Dixons were no white trash shower. (But it wouldn’t matter to the Moffatts if the Dixons were really the Windsors. The Moffatts have neither morals nor social mores. By coming to the funeral, Anthea is merely waving a red flag at a bull.) Looking around and seeing no one, the two surmise that they are early. Anthea suggests that they make themselves scarce, and when the Moffatts arrive, be sure to keep their distance and give the people a bit of peace. (Now watch exactly how she proceeds to do the opposite).
The Murrays are still pondering their dried up cash-flow. They need money, £1000, to be precise. Diane wants to know if Marty could take out another loan, but Marty rightly tells her that’s out of the question. She then suggests touching Brigid for another loan, but Marty reminds her that Brigid isn’t even speaking to him. Diane remembers that Adele is due home the next week. It was important, she said, that Adele not be made to feel guilty about Diane not getting pregnant. (Er, sorry, run that by me again. The only way Adele would feel guilty about her stepmother’s infertility is if DIANE made her feel guilty.)
Jimmy’s using a noisy strimmer on the Close, as Ron and Mike get in Ron’s rattletrap for the trip to the funeral. The car won’t start.
At the same time, Emily strides purposefully from the Johnson home, followed close on her heels, by Mick. He’s still badgering her about stealing the packet of ham. Emily tells him he can keep his poxy ham; she’s tired of having to eat like a meffy student. Mick takes a threatening step toward her and Emily taunts him: ‘What are you going to do? Batter me?’
Mick hisses through his teeth that he took her and Tim in. If it hadn’t been for him, the pair would be homeless. Now she could pay him back for the food she stole and she could also pay the £20 they still owed in rent. Tim appears suddenly, asking Mick not to treat his wife that way. Mick laughs maliciously and tells Tim that’s some wife he has, all right. She’s nothing but a tart and a scheming one at that. Tim makes an attempt to thump Mick, but he’s stopped suddenly by Jimmy, who tells Mick that there was no need to say that.
Tim agrees that Mick was out of order. Mick tells Jimmy that those two have ‘more front than Blackpool’ and demands repayment of the money owed him. One more slip-up by Tim or Em and the pair would be out on the streets. And he should tell his wife not to steal from Mick’s fridge.
Tim says that even the streets would be better than staying in a house where they weren’t wanted. Mick starts to reply, but Jimmy tells him not to go on at Tim.
Ron is still trying to start his car. Mike remarks that he’d been telling his father that the car needed servicing and suggests that they approach Jimmy for help. Jimmy knew a lot about starting cars. ‘Yeah,’ quips Ron. ‘Other people’s.’
The Murrays are still examining their finances. Marty decides the only way to raise some cash would be to sell his car. Diane isn’t sure about this, but Marty observes that desperate times call for desperate measures. But how would they get by without a car, she asks.
Marty replies that they would get by the same way other people got by who didn’t have cars - walk or ride the bus. She asks how much the car would fetch. Marty reckons it’s worth about £500, as it’s ten years old. But anyway, by selling the car, they’d save on tax, insurance and petrol; so that would help.
Back at the Johnsons’, Mick has retreated to the lair that has become his front room, where he proceeds to scowl at the world and all its inhabitants. Emily enters quietly and tentatively. Meekly, she apologises to Mick for taking the meat and for being late with the rent. Then she ventures to tall Mick that if he ever feels the need to talk to someone about Yvonne, Emily would gladly listen.
Mick flippantly asks her if she’s feeling guilty about interfering in his and Yvonne’s relationship. Emily denies doing this, saying she’s only offering Mick a chance to talk about his problems. After all, she says, she’s a good listener. (Surprisingly, Emily is quite sincere about this offer). Mick points out succinctly that she’s not a good listener at all. In fact, she’s a poisonous little so-and-so. Look how she set him up with Vonnie for a great fall. In actuality, she couldn’t give a toss about anyone but herself. She was a liar, a thief and a bully. Look how she tormented Susannah; and whenever she got caught in any of her scrapes, she thought all she had to do was flutter her eyelashes and say she was sorry, but that wouldn’t work anymore with Mick. He wanted her to stay out of his face. By the time he rises to leave, our Em is in floods of tears. (Truth hurts, doesn’t it?)
Meanwhile, mourners are beginning to arrive at the funeral, but not that many. Anthea remarks that she’s surprised more people haven’t come (perhaps the Moffatt brothers really WEREN’T all that well-liked), when Rachel spies Katie and goes to meet her. Katie is surprised that Rachel came; didn’t Mike mind? Rachel callously remarks that she’s fed up with being the obedient little wifey. (Now that’s a fallacy there - Rachel has NEVER been that, although she’s given a good impression of being so.) She admits that she and Mike had argued about her attending the funeral, but if they hadn’t argued about that, they would have argued about something else. That’s all they seem to do these days. (It’s no wonder, when you’re encouraged to lie to your husband’s face by your mother-in-law and berate his masculinity).
Katie thanks her for coming. She’s grateful. (You bet your sweet bippy she is, she’s got what she wanted ... And at the expense of the Dixon household, she’s caused havoc there again.)
The hearse arrives at that moment, bearing a huge floral display in the window which reads ‘BROTHER’. (Presumably, the other side reads ‘SON’). Anthea is standing smack dab right at the place the hearse stops, so much for keeping a distance from the Moffatts. The main car arrives, and Ma Moffatt emerges from it, and the first person she sees is Anthea.
As the two women face each other, Anthea apologises for Mike’s behaviour the other day. Ma Moffatt assures her that there was no need for an apology, but she was surprised to see Anthea at the funeral. Anthea says she’s there to support Rachel and Katie; and she wanted Ma Moffatt to know that she hadn’t lost sight of the fact that a young man had died, even if some of her family had. (Hang on a minute, Anthea. I hope you’re only referring to Mike here; because your husband CERTAINLY realises what he’s done).
After speaking to Ma Moffatt, Anthea approaches Katie and Rachel, asking how Katie loov is faring. Oh, she’s much better now that Rachel and Anthea are there. (I’ll bet you are, Katie. Divide and conquer, eh?) Rachel reminisces about Beth’s funeral and how it helped her to deal with Beth’s death. Anthea remarks that funerals aren’t only to remember the dead, but to help the living come to terms with death.
Mike and Ron are hurrying to the funeral, but the are stopped by a removal van blocking their route. The removal men seem to be taking their time as well. Mike remarks pessimistically that he doesn’t think that they will arrive in time to warn Anthea and Rachel.
Ma Moffatt is waiting on the threshold of the church, talking to the vicar, whom she’s probably never seen before in her life and won’t bother to see again. They are obviously awaiting someone and suddenly, we see Gobby Robby the Blobby Yobbie run up, shaking like a tub of lard from his exhertion. He’s apologising profusely to his mother for being late, but it seems he ‘had to stop off someplace first’. (I wonder where?)
All of a sudden, Gobby spies Anthea and Rachel. Of course he asks the ubiquitous, ‘What are THEY doing here?’
Anthea replies naively that she and Rachel are only there to pay their respects. Ma Moffatt, who by this time is pulling on Gobby’s arm in the direction opposite to that of Anthea, intervenes by telling Gobby that she wants no trouble as they bury his brother; and she thinks it was good of ANTHEA to come.
Once he hears his mother refer to the Dixon woman by her Christian name, Gobby is off. ‘Oh, so it’s ANTHEA now, is it?’ Didn’t his mother realise what these people had done to her son?
Ron and Mike are still delayed en route by the pathetically slow removal men. Ron repeatedly honks his horn until he and the two men have a verbal altercation. Mike is still pessimistic about arriving in time.
Tim and Emily sit unhappily on the steps outside the Johnson house. Tim is admonishing Emily about her latest run-in with Mick. Didn’t he tell her to leave him well alone? Emily is still in tears. Mick called her a liar and a cheat. (Well, isn’t that what she is?) Tim promises to have a word with Mick about that, but Emily hurriedly tells him not to, as - in Mick’s present frame of mind - it might result in them getting kicked out on the streets.
All Emily did, she says, was offer to listen to Mick if he ever wanted to talk about Yvonne. She genuinely thought that it might help him, having someone with whom to talk. Tim’s livid. He’s sick of being skint and living with a psycho landlord. He wants a place of his own. Emily laughs humourlessly. They couldn’t even afford to rent a room from Mick, how could they afford to rent elsewhere? Glancing around the Close, Tim announces he’s going back on the rob.
Ron and Mike are still being impeded by the moving men, who suddenly reverse their lorry out of the way. They are moving at last, but Mike is still pessimistic. Ron tears off at great speed.
Too right, he’s late. Gobby breaks from his mother’s hold and stomps menacingly toward Anthea, grabbing her with one hand by the hair at the back of her head, and with the other, by the neck. Anthea begins to struggle, whilst protesting that she only attended the funeral to show that she cared. Ma Moffatt is pathetically trying to pull her blobby son off Anthea, as he threatens to kill her, whilst Katie and Rachel watch, glumly and dumbly (in that order) the incredible scene. Ma is entreating Blobby Gobby to stop, for Clint’s sake, on this day of all days. Gobby shouts that Clint was too soft, and that was why he ended up being shot. Ma Moffatt continues to tug at him, begging him not to fight, but he continues attacking Anthea.
The word hubris ... Remember it. Brookside have used it well.
Summary © 2001 Marion Watts
Brookside and all related materials are © Mersey Television 1982-2001