Diane Murray sits at the sitcom table, putting the finishing touches on an elaborate trifle, topped with layers of whipped cream and glazed Maraschino cherries. She doesn’t look happy at all. Marty enters the room, albeit hesitantly, grunting a greeting as he carries about making a cup of tea. The Plank follows shortly thereafter, greeting both his parents, who seem unusually taciturn.
Unable to contain himself much longer, the Plank asks Diane if she’s told Marty Plank’s news. Diane replies shortly that she thought she’d let the Plank tell him. Marty looks at the Plank, who manages to look bashfully proud of himself and announces that there’s a CHANCE that Michael Owen might open ‘the new showroom’ the following evening. Nothing definite, mind you, but there’s a chance. (Yeah, well, there’s a chance that Everton might win the Premiership but ... You get my drift). During the course of the announcement, Marty was staring fixedly at Diane, who was studiously trying to ignore him. Result? There’s no response to be made to the Plank’s announcement.
Disappointed and miffed at the lack of interest, Plank skulks off. The viewers are left with the impression that the atmosphere in the Murray abode is colder than a witch’s twat.
Speaking of witches, Emily Shadwick arrives at the Johnson’s, dressed in her tiny little hairdresser’s uniform. Now, we haven’t seen much of Ms Shadwick O’Leary lately, and it’s obvious from the way she looks that she’s been on holiday, somewhere hot and sunny (the actress, that is, not Emily ... Emily’s been dipping into the fake tan again). As she enters the Johnson lounge, she is confronted by a stern-looking Mick, and it’s also obvious that she’s been trying to avoid him for sometime. Needless to say, she’s carrying an object in a PVC bag as well.
She greets Mick, hesitantly, admitting that she didn’t expect to find him at home. Mick immediately asks the whereabouts of this month’s rent, which was due a week ago. Emily looks uneasy, acknowledging the fact that the rent is overdue and promises Mick he’ll have it by Friday, which is when she’s due to be paid. Mick doesn’t like that. He reminds her that this isn’t the first time the couple have been late with rent. It happened last month too. He asks why he can’t have the rent tomorrow. Emily explains that she and Tim are skint.
Mick points to Emily’s package, remarking that she wasn’t too skint to go shopping; but Emily protests that the package cost only a fiver. At that point, Tim enters, with his new Asif haircut (that’s Asif as in Eastenders). As he comes in the door, Mick is quick to advise him that he was just reminding Tim’s wife that they were late with the rent again this month. Tim apologises, saying that he, too, gets paid on Friday and he’ll let Mick have ‘something’ then. Emily turns to Tim and asks why he can’t let Mick have ‘something’ now, but Tim is skint too. Mick reminds the pair that if it weren’t for him, they’d be without a roof over their heads. He’s tired of being taken for a mug and he issues an ultimatum. He wants this month’s rent by tomorrow.
(Why is Mick always setting impossible tasks for people like Tim and Emily to fill - £2000 or a new telly in two weeks or a month’s rent. But then, where do Tim and Emily’s money go? They don’t maintain a car and they only have rent as an outgoing.)
Speaking of witches again, Katie Rogers, surprisingly looking less miserable than usual, stands in the middle of what USED to be the flat inhabited by Leanne and Lance. She cups her ubiquitous mobile phone in her hand. (Is it me, or do the characters on Brookside use their mobiles more than most people?) The place, quite honestly, looks like a pigsty. There are clothes strewn about and odd bits of furniture etc. Katie is on the phone to Nisha, telling her that (a) she got the keys off Ian Lee and had commenced moving in and (b) Nisha better get her arse up there asap after work, because the state the place was in, they wouldn’t be sorted out before nightfall. As the scene ends, we catch sight of Katie’s reflection in a broken mirror lying on the floor.
Back at the Murrays’, Marty and the Plank sit in the lounge, Marty attempting to read the sports’ pages and the Plank looking at the pictures in a magazine. Diane makes several soirees back and forth between the lounge and the kitchen, each time purposely ignoring Marty’s presence. Finally, the Plank asks Marty how long this is going to continue. Marty replies with the ubiquitous, ‘Ask your moother.’
Plank is fed up with the situation. He understands that Diane is upset that Adele went ahead with the abortion. But what’s done is done. She’s got to accept Adele’s decision and get on with life. Marty points out that Diane has forgiven Adele; but she blames Marty for the abortion and won’t forgive him. The Plank asks if the pair of them were planning on attending tomorrow night’s launch of ‘the new showroom’. Marty replies that they’ll be there, putting up a united front. But Steve is having none of this twat. He encourages Marty to talk to Diane. If she won’t be the first to approach him, let him approach her.
Taking his son’s advice, Marty enters the kitchen, where Diane is tidying up. He gently asks how long this disagreement is going to continue and asks if they can at least talk. Diane sarcastically wonders if Marty means he wants to talk about some of the things he said the night before. Marty tries to tell her that the two of them need to work together to overcome this disagreement. What they have is too good to lose. He’s genuinely sorry that she didn’t get pregnant. If she wants, he’s willing to give IVF another go.
Diane remarks bitterly that she can’t understand why Marty would be so willing to go to great lengths to create one child and yet be so blase about destroying another. Sighing with fatigue at encountering this argument again, Marty tries to explain that all he did was act in what HE thought the best interests of his daughter were. Diane explodes, saying that in doing so, Marty had destroyed HER (Diane’s) chances of having a baby.
Marty is perplexed, but he gets the drift of her remark. At last, RDiane is admitting that she had an agenda with regard to Adele. He points out to her that he had three children of his own, which she selflessly raised. And he was willing to go along with IVF solely for the benefit of Diane having her own baby, so she could be a real mother, rather than an adoptive mother. But if Diane meant that she would have taken on the mothering duties regarding Adele’s baby, that was no different to what had been transpiring for the past 8 years - it would still be someone else’s baby. But, Diane points out illogically, it would be a BABY. (So get her a computerised doll).
Marty still looks at her uncomprehendingly. She realises he doesn’t understand and he admits that, not only does he not understand, he’s past caring. He starts to leave the room as the Plank enters. He asks Marty where he’s off to, remarking that he had to pick up Trona and Geoff was coming by later. Marty remarks that he was ‘off out’ and wonders what Geoff and the Two-Watt Bulb have to do with anything. Diane says that Geoff and Trona were coming to dinner tonight, so Marty mustn’t be long. Marty announces that he’s not about to sit around there of an evening after everything that’s happened, playing happy families. He’s off out - preferably to the back room of The Swan for the evening. And off he trots.
Mr and Mrs O’Leary sit side by side on the Johnson sofa as Mick announces he’s going into work for a little while. Emily asks him if Yvonne is going to be late - only if she is, Emily could do the tea - spagbol. Mick remarks that, by coincidence, Vonnie had a meeting after school, and ta, Em, for the offer. Lifting the paper from Tim’s hand, he leaves. Tim wants to know why Emily was so sweet on buttering Mick up. Emily is in hopes such treatment will make him forget about the rent.
Nisha and Katie enter the scummy flat, each carrying a binliner full of gear, Nisha remarking that another two taxi trips should just about finish the move. She is appalled at the state of the flat. She and Katie stand there, examining the wreckage, when Leanne appears in the hall outside. Spying them, she barges into her old flat, demanding to know what they are doing there. Katie explains that they are moving in. Leanne looks at them suspiciously - they aren’t squatting, are they? Nisha replies that it’s all above board; they signed a lease off Ian Lee. Leanne suddenly relaxes her scowl; but warns them not to touch any of the gear she left, indicating the mess. She’d be round to sort that out later.
She sweetens her attitude suddenly to ask a favour of the girls. If anyone comes to the flat looking for Leanne or asking her whereabouts, Nisha and Katie are to plead ignorant. Noting their curious looks, Leanne hastily explains that she’s been being bothered by a stalker. Someone just won’t leave her alone. Comes by to pester her, calls her up, sends her menacing letters. Of course, she’s apprised the police of the situation; but all the same, she’d be obliged if Nisha and Katie pretended not to know where she was. And she leaves the room.
After she goes, Nisha asks Katie if she thinks Leanne really has a stalker. Katie scoffs that Leanne should be so lucky. They are both left wondering who the person could be.
Jacqui and Max sit at a table - is it supposed to be in the Bar downstairs? Because as the camera pans around, we can see the garage petrol prices reflected in the window. Max is attempting to openly hold Jacqui’s hand. Jacqui giggles and reminds him that they were supposed to be discreet. Max asks her if being discreet means having dinner here? They giggle together.
Yvonne returns home, entering the Johnson house, laden with workbooks and other school paraphernalia, even though it’s supposed to be two days before the end of the school term. She passes Tim, who’s on his way to work at Better Burgers, remarking that one worker returns as the other leaves. Entering the lounge, she spots Emily, who sits on the sofa, putting her wedding photos into a white PVC album - obviously the item bought for a fiver. Emily tells Vonnie that she’s doing tea - spagbol - and the meat is simmering on top of the oven. Vonnie thanks her, saying she would probably have opted for a takeaway, herself.
She sits beside Emily, asking for a look at her photos and comments nicely on them. Emily, rather apologetically, tells her that, although it wasn’t much of a wedding, it was still the happiest day of her life. Vonnie shyly confides to Emily that Mick has proposed marriage to her the night before. Emily is pleased for Yvonne, but Vonnie also says that she has yet to give him an answer.
‘You made him wait all night without giving him an answer?’ Emily cries, in disbelief.
It isn’t as easy as that, explains Vonnie. Her husband’s been dead two years, and she still feels that it’s a mite too early to commit herself to another marriage. But Emily retorts that it isn’t as if Vonnie’s only just met Mick. He’s her husband’s cousin and she’s known him for years. Anyway, she carries on, getting engaged doesn’t necessarily mean rushing off to the register office and getting married. Some people get engaged and stay that way for years. Besides, Yvonne’s already living with Mick and neither are exactly in the first bloom of youth (well, Vonnie is in real life - she can’t be much past thirty). Why not give Mick an affirmative answer and then marry at her leisure?
Vonnie, who’s supposed to be an intelligent, educated and articulate woman, suddenly loses all modicum of intellect and agrees that Emily’s suggestion is a good one. She’ll tell Mick that very evening that she’ll marry him and the two will spend a long engagement happily together until SHE is ready to marry.
Steve Murray returns to the Murray abode as well, laden with his Two-Watt Bulb. They enter the house to find Diane alone. Trona greets Diane, explaining that Geoff will be along later as he has some business to attend to downtown. Noticing Marty’s absence, she asks his whereabouts, and Diane is forced to lie, saying that there was another break-in at the school and Marty has been called out. Trona helpfuly suggests that dinner might be a bit delayed, but Diane forcefully explains that Marty’s likely to be out all evening and she apologises for this. Plank, whose head is again full of sawdust, suddenly remembers that he and Trona were supposed to bring the wine, but they’ve forgotten. The Two-Watt Bulb offers to nip across to the bar and get a couple of bottles.
When she leaves, Plank asks Diane about Marty and where he is. Diane remarks off-handedly that he’s probably at another pub with Christy, slagging off both her and Brigid.
Nisha stands at the bar, having ordered a bottle of wine for her and Katie, as they are taking a break from moving in. The charming Leanne serves them. As she does so, she reminds Nisha that she’ll be around later to collect the ‘things’ she left behind in the flat. Smiling smugly, Nisha informs Leanne that she and Katie have saved her a job. She produces a large bin bag from the floor and places it atop the bar, to Leanne’s chagrin. Nisha and Katie have bagged up all Leanne’s belongings for her. On top of the bag, the viewers see two letters in brown envelopes.
By the way, continues Nisha, amongst Leanne’s belongings, they managed to find a couple of those stalker letters to which she referred. Funny, they seem to be from the Benefits Agency. Leanne looks uneasy and turns a bright shade of red. Nisha narrows her eyes accusingly. Why, Leanne’s been working all along and claiming housing benefit, the naughty minx!
Leanne’s charm evaporates suddenly, and she glares at Nisha. Is Nisha proposing to shop her, she wants to know. Well, says Nisha, what Leanne is doing IS against the law. She hasn’t decided yet what she’s going to do; but in the meantime, and she indicates the bottle of wine, she figures Leanne owes her. And she takes the freebie and goes to her seat, leaving Leanne giving her caricature scowl.
Mick returns home to find Emily perusing her recently compiled wedding album. He’s obviously been having a re-thing about what they discussed earlier. He tells her that perhaps he was a bit too harsh with her this morning; but she and Tim had better try to make their rent payments on time. Noticing the album, he asks to have a look. Emily is a bit embarrassed, but she hands the album to him. Mick looks at the photos and laughs, telling her that she’ll hate these pics one day. Emily is shocked and says she’ll never hate them, but Mick assures her she will. Everybody hates their wedding photos about ten years after the event, looking back on them. He knows he did.
Emily then coyly remarks that Mick could be having another wedding someday, as she understands he’s waiting for an answer to a proposal. Looking happily embarrassed, Mick asks, equally coyly, if someone’s been talking to Emily. Emily remarks that a little bird told her that perhaps Mick would be getting an answer this evening.
Mick looks pleased.
Trona returns to the Murray home with two bottles of wine and dashes up the stairs, dying for a pee. Immediately she goes upstairs, the doorbell rings again. Diane answers it to find Geoff, standing there with one hand behind his back. He’s smarmily apologetic for his tardiness and as he enters, he hands her a bouquet of flowers. She awkwardly accepts them and they enter the lounge.
He, too, notes Marty’s absence, asking where he is. He’d made sure Marty would be here, because he wanted to know Marty’s reaction to the fact that one of his heroes, Michael Owen, would be opening the new showroom the next night. Plank hastily assures Geoff that that’s not been finalised as yet, while Diane again explains Marty’s absence is due to a break-in at Brookie Comp. But, not to worry, they are to carry on without him, and she disappears into the kitchen.
Left alone with the Plank and Trona, Geoff begins to praise the Plank’s ability concerning the organising of the showroom launch, whilst commiserating on the absence of Marty and the chance it would have given Geoff to boast about the Michael Owen appearance to a Liverpool fan. All the while, the camera pans on a photo of a much younger Marty Murray, sporting longer hair and holding a can of lager. After awhile, Geoff remarks that someone should go see how Diane is faring with the meal in the kitchen. The Two-Watt Bulb offers (although God only knows if she knows what a kitchen is), but Geoff assumes control and says he’ll check on Diane.
As he enters the kitchen, he catches Diane Murray trying to conceal a sniffle. He immediately asks if there’s anything wrong, but she assures him there isn’t.
Max and Jacqui are having their meal, along with a giggle. It seems that the next day is Jacqui’s 25th birthday, and Max is commenting on what a milestone a quarter of a century can be. Jacqui scoffs at that, saying it’s not as though she’s turning 50, to which Max again makes a rejoinder about his proximity to that age. But then he reminds her that 40 is another turning point.
Max then tells her that he’s made plans for her to spend the entire next day with him and the children, as they had something special to mark her birthday, but Jacqui demurs. She’s planned to spend the day with Ron, Anthea and the Dixons, as Ron would be sure to remark upon this ‘milestone’ birthday as well. Max, however, is insistent. She could spend the day with the Dixons anytime. But he and the kids had gone to great lengths to plan this special day and they really wanted Jacqui to be there. He reiterates how special he considers his relationship with Jacqui, especially since he and Jacqui had consummated their affair. Jacqui promises that she’ll try to postpone the Dixon celebrations to spend the day with Max, instead.
Upstairs in the flat, Katie and Nisha are unpacking, whilst Nisha is revealing the extent of Leanne’s deceptions with regards to the benefits fraud. Katie seems surprised by this revelation, whereas Nisha is just put out that someone is actually working and claiming housing benefit. Katie wonders why Nisha is so annoyed. ‘Doesn’t it bother you,’ asks Nisha, ‘that someone is using YOUR tax money, well, SOMEBODY’S tax money for fraudulent purposes?’ (Well, no, Nisha, actually, it doesn’t worry Katie, because - given the opportunity - Katie would probably do the same thing, herself, or someone with whom she consorted - i.e. Gobby or Flint - would do so).
Nisha carries on explaining how someone with a genuine claim, is made homeless every day because the Benefits Agency is caught up with a plethora of administrative tape in dealing with bogus claimants like Leanne. Katie asks if Nisha is going to shop Leanne to the authorities. ‘I should do,’ says Nisha. ‘After all, with her past record, she could easily do time for this.’
Katie suggests that Nisha could use one of those anonymous phone lines that the agency has, but Nisha dismisses that. Why let someone else do the agency’s work for them? She asks. Besides, she hasn’t decided what she’s going to do yet, and in the meantime, it was to her advantage to let Leanne sweat a bit with the preoccupation that someone is on to her scam.
Anyway, concludes, Nisha, as she flops on the sofa, by this time the next day, she would be relaxing on a Greek beach. Katie, reassuming her usual miserable, self-pitying mien, flops beside her, remarking enviously that ‘it’s all right for some’. Nisha suggests that they go downstairs to the surgery computer and check on the Internet to see if there had been some last-minute cancellations. Then Katie could come along with Nisha and her unseen mates. Katie declines, saying that the surgery would never sanction both of them being off at the same time. (Why not? They may not be able to spare a horny nurse-practitioner, but miserable doctors’ receptionists are ten a dozen. Katie would be easily replaced).
Besides, Katie continues, she has a funeral to attend. The police have released Flint’s body and the funeral would be in the next few days. Nisha immediately and half-heartedly offers to defer her holiday in order to attend the funeral with Katie. But Katie declines her offer - probably because somewhere deep within the pea-sized cavity of Katie’s soul, she knows that Nisha, unlike Jacqui Dixon, doesn’t have Katie’s interests and welfare at heart, and never intended the offer to be anything other than meaningless words at the best of times. Looking relieved at the fact that she won’t lose her holiday after all, Nisha promises to phone Katie on the day. (Well, now that Vodafone subscribers can make holiday calls from abroad, this would be a good commercial - Nisha lounging on the beach, calling Katie by Flint’s graveside ... Still, it’s nice to talk.)
The dinner party at the Murrays’ is in full swing, attended by the Plank and the Two-Watt Bulb, as well as a smarmy Geoff and a dismal Diane. Geoff is in full swing, himself, bragging about how well ‘Stevie-boy’ is doing in his firm, how the Plank has a real flair for PR, in the way he’s managed the publicity surrounding the new showroom launch. (Forgive me if I GUFFAW here, but do the writers on Brookside seriously expect the viewing public, other than pre-pubescent girls, to believe that Plank Murray is DYNAMIC?) Diane is only half-listening to Geoff’s ramblings, instead, being preoccupied with gazing intently at the photo of the beer-swigging lager lout that was Marty Murray in his youth.
In fact, Geoff says, suddenly, Plank should really check in on the showroom tonight. He understands all the lighting technicians et al are there setting up and Plank should really be there to oversee things. Trona is primly astounded that her dad should suggest such a thing. It would be rude manners for the Plank to just up stakes (pun intended) and dart off from his dinner. But Diane insists that the Plank go, if he has to, and Trona goes with him, having been assured by Geoff that he’ll remain and help Diane clear up. In fact, says Geoff, Plank and Trona should take his car; and he hands the pair his keys. So the DYNAMIC DUO of Plank and Trona depart, leaving Geoff and Diane over the remains of the meal.
Meanwhile over at the Johnsons, their evening meal has just beeen finished. Emily has cleared the table and Vonnie sits with her mountain of exercise books, about to begin an evening of grading. Mick wants to know if she really has to pursue this course of work this evening, but she maintains that she has to do so. However, Emily reminds Vonnie that she has some sort of answer to give Mick and she skips off, leaving them to it. Vonnie shyly smiles and turns to Mick, saying that she’s thought about his marriage proposal and has decided to say ‘yes’. She would love to be engaged to him.
Mick is over the moon, to say the least - so over the moon, he’s halfway to Venus. He scoops Vonnie into his arms and dismisses the idea of an engagement altogether. Hell, they’re no young kids anymore! Who needs an engagement? They’ll get married right away. Why, they could be married within the week. As he holds Vonnie against him, we see from the look on Vonnie’s face that she’s less than pleased at this prospect and that Emily’s suggestion has backfired grandly.
Back at the Murrays’, Geoff and Diane sit at the dinner table. Geoff helps himself to some more of the repast, commenting that he mustn’t be greedy and he should save some for Marty. Diane assures him that there’s plenty left. Deciding to come clean, she tells Geoff the truth about Marty’s absence that evening. They’d had a row. Geoff had thought as much. Diane confesses further. They had been under an immense strain of late in their marriage - she confesses the whole thing about the IVF treatment and finishes it off with the tale of Adele’s abortion.
She elaborates on this by saying that she well understood Adele’s predicament, but she was against abortion, whereas Marty was supportive of the girl’s wishes to get rid of the baby. Geoff listens sympathetically. He can relate to what Diane is saying, as a couple of years ago Trona fell pregnant, herself. June, his wife, was supportive of their daughter in her decision to have an abortion; but he, Geoff, had been raised to oppose abortion. (Are we to assume here that Geoff is Catholic?) Trona went ahead with the act and was very depressed. But, he promises Diane, she got over it, and so will Adele. As Diane rises to clear the table, Geoff pats her hand comfortingly.
He follows her into the kitchen as she stacks the dishes in the sink, talking more and more about the Murray family troubles. Geoff listens and then tells Diane that if she ever needs anyone to talk to, she can turn to him. Diane hugs him gratefully, thanking him, and as she pulls away, his hand cups her left breast. Shocked and appalled, Diane pushes him forcefully away, asking him what he was thinking of and telling him, in no uncertain terms, to get out.
Geoff attempts to apologise profusely, saying that he misread all her signals. Diane insists that he leave, but Geoff continues to try to apologise, interspersed with desperate pleas for Diane not to tell a soul that this has occurred. Diane continues to berate him, telling him to leave now and go. Geoff objects that he is without a car, having loaned his to Plank and Trona. Diane chases him furiously from the house. When he’s gone, she collapses in tears, as - in the background - we see a frightened Geoff scurry across the Close.
Summary © 2001 Marion Watts
Brookside and all related materials are © Mersey Television 1982-2001