It's obviously a few days after Nikki's party. Anthea has just awoken and is wandering around the Dixon kitchen in her bathrobe looking more miserable than a person usually does first thing in the morning. Ron enters, carrying the day's post and a paper. He asks how she's feeling, and she tells him she never slept a wink the previous night. Ron apologises sincerely, but Anthea remarks sarcastically that it's a bit much to expect someone to be able to drop off when she knows that someone is out there trying to kill her.
Ron assures her that Robbie Moffatt is coming nowhere near her. Anthea is angry about the threats against Ron's family, but it seems that she's changed her entire tack of reasoning from the previous week, when she advocated getting Ron out of remand because of his health. She's thought about the situation all night and the only solution she can see is calling the police. So after she's had a shower, she's off down the copshop. Ron begs her not to do this, as it would mean his return to prison; but Anthea is adamant about reporting the incident.
It's breakfast time at the Murrays' and Diane is serving Marty a huge fry-up - sausages, bacon, eggs, chips - the plate is piled high with cholesterol. Adele, looking more than a little green around the gills, enters the kitchen and spies the feast. She asks what the occasion for the fry-up is, as this is the usual Murray fare for Sunday mornings. Diane, looking more smug than usual (if that's possible) coyly remarks that Adele's father needs to keep his strength up for his role in the IVF procedure later that day. Adele sits down. Either she's truly innocent or truly thick, but she observes that it's Diane who'll be called upon to go through the egg-harvesting procedure, so why exactly does Marty need strength for this? (Marty might get a lot of strength from this stodge, but he'll also be next in line for a dicky ticker after Ron Dixon ... Or maybe that's Diane's plan?)
Diane sits down at the table and attempts to explain graphically exactly HOW Marty is going to participate in the procedure, but Adele stops her, thoroughly sickened equallly by the graphics of the explanation over the breakfast table as well as the fact that she's suffering morning sickness and also the fact that her mum bangs on incessantly about this one topic when she, herself is facing crucial GCSE exams today. She pointedly reminds Diane of this fact. Marty stops his babbling wife from continuing, but Diane is adamant that she should carry on. After all, it's educational for Adele. Adele, by now, thoroughly upset, rises from the table and leaves the house for a bit of peace at school.
After she's gone, Marty chastises Diane for going on all the time about the IVF, but the woman with Bleach on the Brain insists that she was only trying to take Adele's mind off her exams.
As Adele leaves the house, she meets her mate Michelle, who was just about to ring for her. Michelle tells Adele she looks awful and surmises she's suffering from morning sickness. Adele agrees, but says it gets better as the day passes. Michelle wants to know if Adele has decided what she's going to do about the baby, but Adele hasn't. She reminds Michelle that Marty and Diane are going for IVF procedure today, so it's going to be impossible to tell them at this moment.
Over at the McLoughlin-Gonzalez flat, it's the morning of the Immigration interrogation. Bev and Fred sit stiffly side-by-side on Bev's sofa. Lance and Leanne are present also. Leanne has a new bobbed hairstyle, but is still a vision in white and into crystals. Lance is concerned that Bev and Fred get their stories downpat and - as Bev openly admits to a case of nerves - Lance suggests that they have a trial run of potential questions then and there. In fact, Leanne will act as Grand Inquisitor.
Leanne stands up, makes a lame attempt and then removes her crystal necklace and hands it to Lance. She can't be the Torquemada figure whilst wearing that necklace - the crystals emanate just too much sweetness and light. Once she hands the object to Lance (who kisses it for luck), she returns to form as the bitch from hell.
Leanne begins by remarking that even an idiot wouldn't be fooled into thinking that Bev and Fred were married, the way they were sitting there on the sofa. Fred takes Bev's hand in a lame attempt. That's still not good enough to fool anyone, remarks Leanne. Bev sighs impatiently and reminds Leanne that she must be at the Immigration office with Fred in thirty minutes' time.
So Leanne begins by asking Bev how many brothers and sisters Fred has. Bev correcly answers eight. OK, Fred, so how many brothers and sisters does Bev have? Fred answers - one sister, Lyn. Leanne next asks Fred how and when he and Bev met? Prepared answer: in 1991 at the Casa Club when Fred was a student in Liverpool. She asks Bev what subject Fred studied in univeristy. Bev replies, 'Mechanical engineering'.
Leanne pauses a moment, before delivering the slammer question, proving she's obviously seen the film Green Card, by remembering the problem Montezuma skin cream caused. She asks Fred if Bev uses tampons or towels. Bev and Lance are horrified - this is supposed to be a serious rehearsal, whilst all the while Leanne is assuring them that the authorities have every right to answer this question. In the midst of all this pandemonium, Fred replies that Bev uses super absorbancy towels with wings.
Bev is astonished that he knew such a private detail, but Fred, kisses her lightly on the cheek and reminds her that the two have shared a bathroom for months. He's confident that they'll pass the test with flying colours.
Back at the Dixons', Mike is feeding Beth her breakfast. Rachel asks him if he'd dress the baby while she has a shower, as she plans to take Beth to the park. Ron and Anthea hover tensely in the background. Mike asks Rachel if she and the baby would mind staying with him today. They've been away in Bristol for the past few days and Mike hasn't spent much time with them. Rachel suggests that he come to the park with them, the fresh air will do him good. But Mike repeats his request that they stay inside the house. Rachel is puzzled.
Anthea, behind her, sarcastically asks Mike if he's told Rachel the latest news yet. Mike is forced to tell her that Robbie Moffatt's threatened to harm Ron's family. Rachel scoffs at this, saying that Robbie is all mouth and nothing would probably come of it. Then Anthea tells her that she was almost run over the night of Nikki's engagement party. If it hadn't been for Tim, she would have been killed. So Mike maintains that he doesn't want either Rachel or the baby out of his sight for the next few weeks.
Rachel is horrified. It might be months before the case comes to trial. Surely he couldn't expect her to stay locked up for that long. And why didn't he tell her before now? It was wrong to keep such knowledge from her. Mike turns the tables and quips that it was wrong of her not to have told him about the first burglary that occurred when he was in hospital. Rachel tries to explain that that situation was dangerous. She knew that Mike could have done nothing about that.
Maybe not, Mike concedes, but he could certainly protect her now. Anthea interjects sarcastically, saying that neither Ron with his heart, nor Mike, who's disabled could adequately protect the family. What is Ron going to do? Buy another gun? She reiterates that she's going to the police station to report this. Rachel suggests that she phone the police.
Mike maintains that he will protect Beth and Rachel, which brings a particularly callous remark from Anthea. She asks how he plans to do that - by hitting their assailant with his crutch?
Ron tells her that her remark is OTT, but Mike reveals that he's taken care of Robbie Moffatt once before and if need be, he'll do so again. Rachel wants to know when and what he means, so Mike tells her about the incident where he and Tim met Robbie in the underpass and Mike roughed him up with a plank of wood (not to be confused with Steve Murray). Again, Rachel is horriified that Mike resorted to violence, branding it a horrible macho male thing to do.
Dr Darren approaches his surgery to open it for the day, in hopes that some patients might attend. Leanne calls out to him, wishing him good day and asks after 'Vickie', saying she hasn't seen her around lately. He responds politely, but she continues, asking after his health. Again, he says he feels fine and attempts to enter the surgery. She stops him, reminding him that he hasn't yet asked after her health. He says he doesn't need to - he's her doctor.
Leanne laugheds affectedly at such drollerie, remarking that he makes her laugh and forget her health problems. When Darren looks puzzled, Leanne tells him that her sunny demeanor hides the fact that she's a very sick woman. In fact, she's suffering from 'that SAD thing'.
Darren raises his eyebrows in mock surprise, advising Leanne that the SAD syndrome occurs only in the winter months when there's a paucity of light. It's now the middle of June. Leanne desperately says that she's suffering from the Australian variety. Weary with her, Darren unlocks the surgery, and over his shoulder, advises her that her only cure would be emigration.
Across The Parade, Raymondo leaves the garage, having bought a paper. He's accosted by Jerome. Ray greets him guardedly, remarking that he's very disappointed in Jerome. Jerome says he's disappointed in himself and asks how Nikki is faring. Not good, says Ray. Jerome wants to know if there's any chance he can visit her later in the day. Ray says it's not a good idea right now and anyway, it's not possible; Nikki has left for Brussels to spend sometime with Margi. Jerome, surprised, asks if she's coming back, but Ray says that at this time, no one knows for sure if she'll return.
Adele Murray leaves a cubicle in the girls' toilet at Brookie Comp. As she's washing her hands, she's surprised when Marty enters the room. Adele reminds him that this is a ladies' loo, but Marty claims caretaker's priority. His mobile rings, but he switches it off, making a joke of the fact that it's too bad a signal can't be received down in the boiler room. But seriously, he says that Mrs. Jones, Adele's teacher, had alerted him when she left her exam to be sick. Mrs Jones was standing guard outside now, so no one could come in.
Adele looks uncomfortable, and Marty guesses it's nerves. He tells her he's proud of her and she's not to worry about exams. He's sure she'll pass all of them. He passed three and it got him a high-flying career as a school caretaker; and she's sure to pass more than two, which is all Plank managed to get. The two share a hug and Marty wishes her luck.
Meanwhile, Fred is facing the Grand Inquisition. He sits at a small table opposite an official-looking man with a dreaded, wicked and evil Southeastern accent. The official asks Fred when he and Bev married. Fred recites that they married on 21 February. Bev proposed to him on Valentine's day. It came like a 'bolt out of the blue'.
The official remarks that the couple were married after Fred had only been in the country for two weeks, and that Bev seemed to propose after he'd been here five days. He asks Fred if he came to the UK with any intention of getting married. Fred said it hadn't been planned, but the passion between the two was so great that they knew it was the right thing to do.
The offical asks when the couple met - 1991, replies Fred. Fred begins his spiel about how hard it was for the two of them to remain apart. They missed each other dreadfully, and when Fred arrived to visit this time, their feelings were too strong to allow them to be parted again. The Inquisitor smiles dubiously and asks how Fred and Bev managed to have their relationship survive such a great distance. Fred recites the fact that the two wrote many letters - why, the Inquisitor has a pile of them right there. And they phoned each other three or four times weekly.
The Inquisitor's eyes light up. He presumes that Bev's telephone bills from these periods would sustain the fact that several calls were made to Brazil weekly. Fred says they wouldn't because HE phoned HER. The Inquisitor is surprised. Why did he phone Bev and not the other way around? Fred replies that because in his country, that's the man's job to pursue the woman.
Back at the Bar, Leanne sits at one of Bev's internet terminals, trawling the Web. Lance enquires what she's up to, she'll give herself a headache and square eyes to boot. Leanne is looking for a mystery illness, something so rare that a doctor would have to notice her. Lance susses her motive. He can't understand why she's continually interested in Darren - after all, didn't he try to grope her up? Ah, but he was really nice to her after that, maintains Leanne. Lance isn't convinced. The doc had a girlfriend. Ah, but she's all wrong for him, says Leanne. Lance advises her against it, but Leanne is determined.
Tensions are rife in the Dixon household, with Anthea still adamant that she wants the police involved. Mike is fed up with her assertions and Rachel's reactions by now. He asks Anthea if she wants Ron returned to prison. Anthea is hesitant and remarks that perhaps he won't be sent back. Mike maintains that that's exactly what the police will do, send him back for his own safety - but that doesn't guarantee the safety of his family. Does she seriously expect that the police will put a steel cordon around the house and give them 24-hour protection? Anthea lamely remarks that perhaps the police could trace the phone calls.
Ron remarks that he 1471'd the last call - it was made from a call-box nearby. (Which reminds me ... The first anonymous call, answered by Anthea, was blocked. But the one answered by Ron was not.) Mike then tells Anthea that even if she were to go to the police, absolutely NOTHING would be done by them, based on the fact that the Dixons had received one anonymous phone call and she was almost run down by a careless driver, whose registration wasn't even gotten. Things like that happen every day in Liverpool. Anthea still insists that they could trace the calls. Mike is dismissive. To Robbie? She didn't seriously think Robbie was that stupid, did she? Robbie was long gone out of the picture - probably back to Spain. But he's got someone here to do his dirty work.
Anthea remarks how hot the house is and goes to open a window, whilst Rachel again bemoans the fact that she's trapped in the house interminably. Mike explains emphatically that the self-imposed sentence doesn't mean she won't be able to leave the house. It just means that she'll have to look over her shoulder or that he'll have to accompany her. At that remark, Anthea, fully fed up, makes another disparaging remark about Mike's disability. Ron chastises her openly for it, but she sulkily joins Rachel on the sofa, remarking that this doesn't even feel like her home anymore. It's just a murder scene; why, Beth gets fed her breakfast only inches from where 'that poor boy' lost his life.
Ron and Mike stare at her in disbelief. The family are polarised, with Anthea and Rachel sitting on one sofa and Ron and Mike on another. As Ron sits down, he makes a remark about bleeding-heart liberals and the state of the country when criminals get all the sympathy and honest, decent people get panned for trying to protect their home and their family. He's actually amazed at Anthea's about-turn and tells her so, reminding her that only a few weeks ago, she was telling him that he did the right thing and now she's calling him a murderer.
Anthea denies calling him that, but Mike accuses her of saying as good as that. Ron tells Anthea in a soft voice but in no uncertain terms that if she's that unhappy living here, she knows what she can do. He then looks at Rachel and says he supposes she feels the same way too. Rachel does a good impersonation of Jerome looking ashamed and tries to mediate, telling all assembled that they should look at themselves. This is just what Robbie would have wanted, to get them all tearing at each other. Ignoring this remark, Ron asks her again if she feels the same way as Anthea about what he did. Not meeting his look, Rachel murmurs that it hasn't helped things in the house. Ron then tells her that if that's the way the two of them feel, they know where the door is. And without another word, he leaves the room. Mike stares pointedly at the two women, who find it difficult to look back at him.
Darren is seated at at table at Bev's when Leanne appears to serve him. She sits down at the table and begins to tell him about allergic symptoms she is having. Darren reminds her that he's on a lunch break. If she'd like to make an appointment at the clinic, one of the nurses can see her. Leanne dismisses them and says she wants to see a doctor. How about him? How about this afternoon? Darren can't as he's not there this afternoon, but one of the other doctors will see her. (There's more?). But Leanne wants to see him. How about tomorrow?
Darren's having tomorrow off. But he can't, Leanne insists. But he can, says Darren. Tomorrow is his 30th birthday and he's entitled to a day off. Anyway, he won't always be around, he says to Leanne, cryptically.
Unfunny and unnecessary interlude at the Murrays: Marty and Diane Murray are in their bedroom. It's early afternoon immediately before they are due to go to the IVF clinic. Marty holds a smal vial in his hand and crouches on his knees on their bed. She faces him. Diane apologises. Marty asks what for? Having a baby shouldn't be like this. She wanted to be different. Marty assures her that he wouldn't trade any moment with her for the world. He loves her. She remarks how lucky he is in all of this - she had to starve herself all day, while he gets a full brekkie and an orgasm. Yuck.
Meanwhile, as the Inquisition continues, it's the turn of Ms McLoughlin-Gonzales. The canny Inquisitor refers to her marriage certificate and its date of 21 February. Bev smiles and reminds him that she proposed to Fred on Valentine's Day. In fact, it came like a bolt out of the blue. The Inquisitor raises his eyebrows, Sir Humphrey-style. Really? What a coincidence! Her husband used almost exactly the same words. Well, smiles Bev, they do have a tendancy to think alike. That's evidence of how close they are, like two peas in a pod.
He then goes over old ground - how they met and how they sustained their long-distance relationship. Almost word for word, Bev recites the same jargon Fred did, as the Inquisitor looks on disbelievingly. She relates writing letters and points out the pile and then tells about the phone calls three or four times weekly. The Inquisitor suggests that her telephone bills would surely support those weekly calls to Brazil. Yes, says Bev, but she doesn't bother keeping phone bills once they are paid. The Inquisitor smiles sardonically, his mission accomplished.
Later, the Inquisitor requests the two of them join him, where he asks such basic things as why Bev hasn't changed her will to name Fred as beneficiary or why she hasn't changed her insurance policy to benefit Fred. Bev says she's been busy, but had planned to do this. He then asks why the couple have no joint bank account, and Bev says that lots of married people these days don't.
Bev points to the pictures supposedly revealing the length of time she and Fred have known each other as a point in their defence; and surely, the Inquisitor has read their love letters. That must be proof enough of their passion. Pictures can easily be doctored, the Inquisitor rejoinders. As as for the letters, they were private documents and - as such - he had no interest in them. What he DID want to see was the envelopes in which they arrived. Bev says that they threw such unnecessaries away. Ah, says the Inquisitor, but without their postmarks, they proved nothing. Immigration would be getting in touch with the pair of them shortly.
Ray sits in the Bar at a table and Jerome approaches him again. Ray tells him that it's probably best that Jerome make himself scarce, as Jessie is due to join him any moment and it wouldn't do for her to see him here. Jerome asks if it's possible for Ray to give him Nikki's phone number in Brussels, but Ray refuses.
Bev and Fred arrive to face an anxious Lance and Leanne. Lance wants to know how the ordeal went. Bev announces that it was awful - they sussed the deception and explains the telephone ruse. Bev said she didn't realise that Immigration could request duplicates of old phone bills and said that she'd made the phone calls to Brazil and threw the bills away. Fred said that he knew that calls weren't itemised in Brazil and said the calls were made to the UK by him. In short, they had failed and the next step would be Fred's deportation. Lance and Fred share an open hug, while Lance bemoans the fact that no one could take Fred away from him. Bev is annoyed, asking the pair of them if they HAVE to be so in-your-face with their emotions and reminding them that SHE actually faces prison for her part in the deception.
At the Murrays, Michelle and Adele sit at the kitchen table, while Diane regales them with intricate details of how the IVF consultant is going to harvest and fertilise her eggs and how they are going to create six embryos, take two of the best looking ones and implant them. (Er, what happens if both take, Diane? Do you realise that your consultant will recommend that you abort one?) Then the rest will be frozen. (For what use, Diane? This is not very conducive to your faith). Marty appears, nervously hiding his sample inside his jacket and regales her for going on at length about the procedure to Michelle, but Diane ignores him blithely and says that Michelle is interested and it's like a biology lesson. Marty hurries her out, asking the girls if they want anything brought back from the chippie. Both girls demur.
When they leave, Michelle again asks Adele when she's going to decide the fate of the baby. Adele says she can't tell her parents now when they are so keyed up like this. Michelle realistically tells her that she can't wait until her parents have had their baby, as hers will arrive first. Adele then admits that she's decided to seek advice about getting an abortion.
Summary © 2001 Marion Watts
Brookside and all related materials are © Mersey Television 1982-2001