Have you noticed something about Brookside of late, with three characters in particular ... Namely Trona, Nikki and Katie? I know soaps are all about relationships et al, but these three are interesting - one concerns a thick, yet manipulative bimbo about to snare a man only marginally more stupid than she (one shudders at the mental capacity of any children they should produce), another is about an insecure young woman, a rape victim, clinging desperately to her first serious boyfriend to the extent that she's about to force him into a marriage he clearly doesn't want to pursue. And the third, the widow who never was ... A girl with a disastrous history of relationships now about to swathe herself in black and immerse herself in a torrent of self-pity in memory of a man who was little more than a vague idea inside her pea-brain, rather than an entity of substance. But enough of that ...
Ron and Anthea sit on a bench outside the parade. Ron, it seems, rather than spending time at home, has been camping out at Jacqui's. He cannot bring himself to enter the house. Anthea is begging him to come home, but Ron is adamant. Entering the house brought the horrific events of the night of Clint's death back to him. He kept reliving it again and again. Anthea points out that he can't stay at Jacqui's indefinitely; in fact, she would have thought he would be grateful to be home in his own bed.
Ron admits that he hasn't slept a wink at Jacqui's. This admission proves that Anthea is right. Ron belongs at home. Ron still isn't sure. He's afraid to confront the neighbours, afraid of what they might say to him. He realises the sort of people who live in the neighbourhood. Anthea assures him that he has nothing to worry about.
At that moment Jessie Hilton approaches them on the Parade. She stops to have a word, saying that she was so pleased to hear Ron had got bail. But Jessie can't imagine why he would have been jailed in the first place. In fact, in Jessie's opinion, he should have been given a medal for helping the police. She shows Ron how grateful she is for his release by giving him a welcome-back peck on the cheek. Ron, abashed, thanks her. Jessie then tells the Dixons about plans for Nikki's and Jerome's engagement party and invites them to attend. Ron thanks her, but says he's not exactly in the mood for a party; and Jessie understands. As she leaves, the Brookie bus stops in the background to disgorge a passenger. Anthea tells Ron that the majority of the Close consider him a hero. She insists that he walk home with her to test the water about returning home. As they walk off, a mysterious yob in dark glasses (not Robbie, for those of you who didn't see the programme) stands at the bus stop and watches them.
Over at the Farnhams Jacqui and Max are struggling to get the kids ready for the day. Jacqui tells Max that she'll drop the kids off at the nursery and asks if she should pick them up. Max tells her she should. Good, says Jacqui, then they can have a chance to talk later. Max asks what they should talk about. Jacqui reiterates that they need to talk about Jacqui's confession of love from the previous night. Max gets flustered and reiterates that he needs more time. Jacqui, showing the emotional logic of a fourteen year-old inists that he's had time (a whole evening). In an effort to avoid a confrontation, Max declares that he's late and dashes off.
Next we visit the Johnsons', where Emily the Mekon is sitting on the lounge sofa, meticulously applying her lip gloss. She looks in her hand-held mirror and preens. (What a shame, thinks the bitchy viewer, that she or the Brookside make-up bods can't apply her foundation meticulously enough to hide the fact that she's got a particularly nasty strain onf acne on her right cheek - ah, for the airbrush of still photography! The Lolita figure has bad skin!) Tim enters the room and asks if she's returned Mick's credit card yet.
Emily says she hasn't and wants to know why she should. Tim orders her to return it to Mick's wallet forthwith; she shouldn't even think about using it. It will only be so long before he reports it lost or stolen. Emily says that he won't suspect them. Tim responds by saying that she' thick, because Mick has them pegged. Every time something goes missing in the house, he blames them. She is to put the card back. Emily refuses. If they don't replace the television, Mick will turf them out. Tim doesn't care. He is NOT going back inside for anything and won't be covering for her actions in the future. Emily is argumentative, but just then Vonnie the Super-Model comes downstairs.
Mick is sick in bed with a tummy bug, she informs them, and she's popping out to the shops to get him a cure. Tim offers to go. She thanks him, but says she needs the fresh air. When she leaves, Tim orders Emily to return the card, or there would be hell to pay when he returns. Emily shouts back that he'd better start robbing some banks, because if he doesn't, they would be out on the streets.
When Ron returns home, he spends a reflective moment looking at the spot where Clint fell. It's only now that we notice that Ron's face is ashen, tired and unshaven. He muses about the spot where Clint died, saying that the two weeks spent in the remand centre had done him in. He couldn't return there for a day, much less for life. Anthea tries to soothe him, saying that he's home now. But Ron isn't sure how long that's going to be. He tells Anthea that when he was inside, he tried to keep to himself; but there was a young lad in for the crime Clint had committed, breaking and entering. He kept shouting at Ron that he was going to get life, that he was never going to see his family again.
Anthea is concerned and asks why Ron didn't report him. Ron said it would have done no good, he would have been ear-marked as a grass. But the lad would scream at Ron all night long sometimes. Anthea embraces Ron in sympathy.
Next door at the Hiltons', Jessie phaffs about the kitchen, telling Ray of her encounter with Ron. She can't imagine what the Courts were thinking of, putting a man that age behind bars. Whatever happened to 'innocent until proven guilty'? Ray, fence-bound as usual, says he understands that Ron is going to plead guilty, but says it's best to let the Courts decide. Jessie again reiterates that Ron should be given a medal.
She then asks Ray where Kitty is, to be told that Kitty is still in bed. But it's gone 10AM, says Jess. Kitty was supposed to bake a cake for the engagement party. Then, sympathetic soul that she is where Kitty is concerned, Jess allows herself a whinge about Kitty playing up again. Ray said he'd knocked earlier to ask if she wanted a cup of tea, but Kitty had been asleep. Jessie is furious, she knew she'd get lumbered with baking that cake and she wanted to go downtown today as well. She then berates Ray for letting Kitty wrap him around her little finger. Ray said he thought he was supposed to be wrapped around Jess's little finger.
Back at the Dixons', Anthea is hoovering. Ron is looking for the paper, but Anthea says she didn't have time to get one. She suggests Ron take a walk around to the garage to pick one up, but Ron demurs, saying he'd rather stay in and watch television. Anthea says that he has to confront the neighbourhood one day. Ron tells her that it's difficult for him, having been cooped up for the past fortnight, only being allowed outside for an hour a day. Perhaps he'll go out later.
Anthea admonishes him and reminds him that if he goes out to get a paper, at least he'll know what's on television and won't have to sit there getting on her nerves by flicking from channel to channel. (Nerve-wracking is not the word for this vice. Believe me, I live with an inveterate channel-flicker, whose son has inherited the art to the extreme annoyance of his sisters; I know.) Still Ron demurs. Sitting on the arm of the sofa, Anthea gently confronts him. She tells him he has nothing to fear from the neighbourhood, if Jessie Hilton's reaction is anything to go by (this she adds somewhat sourly). Ron admits he's afraid of seeing certain people and of their reactions.
Anthea is puzzled. He surely can't mean the Moffatts. They wouldn't dare come aroundw here. Ron says it isn't the Moffatts he's worried about. He's afraid of running into Katie, because she reacted so violently to him the last time she saw him. Anthea placates him by saying that Katie's probably calmed down by now, but Ron isn't so sure. But to put his mind at rest, Anthea tells him that she's heard that Katie is spending a few days at her sister's, but reminds him that she'll probably attend the trial and he'll have to face her there. So Ron thinks again about going around to the garage. Just then, the Dixon phone rings and Anthea answers it. But the caller hangs up. Ron is concerned, but Anthea thinks it's probably kids, or a wrong number. She rings 1471, but the call has been blocked.
At the time the conversation is taking place, Katie wearing her usual pig-miserable face dismounts from the bus at The Parade and trudges slowly and morosely along the pavement - in fact, I'm surprised there wasn't background music to the tune of Volga River to accompany her. She's watched from a distance by the yob in sunglasses.
Back at the Johnsons', Emily, in an exaggerated parody of sneaking, creeps deliberately over to the place where Mick's jacket with his wallet inside, is hanging. She looks around, listening at the same time for any undue noise. She hears a thump from outside, darts across to the window, sees nothing and darts back to the jacket, clutching the credit card. She takes his wallet from the jacket pocket and is desperately trying to stuff the credit card inside, when the door to the lounge opens and Vonnie walks in. She's caught in a very incriminating position, holding the credit card and the wallet. Vonnie demands to know what she's doing, but Emily tries to tell her it isn't what it seems. Vonnie is suffering no nonsense; she tells her to sit down and tell her the truth about what she was doing.
Emily is frightened and begs Vonnie to hear her side of the story. Vonnie accuse her of stealing Mick's card. In fact, Mick's told her everything about her criminal exploits with Tim. But she'll listen to Emily, if she begins by telling her the truth.
Jessie Hilton isn't in a good humour at all. Kitty still hasn't moved from the bedroom and Jess has been forced to bake Nikki's cake, herself. She is still grumbling to Ray. Ray is bustling about, at wits' end, wondering if he should make Kitty a cup of tea and take it into her. He can't understand her sudden downswing in health. She had seemed to perk up and be her old self the past few days. Jessie suggests that he leave her to rest for awhile, but in the end he decides to follow his own instinct and makes the tea.
Ron has bought his paper and is walking away from the garage. Suddenly, across the Parade, Poor Pitiful Katie Miseryguts spies him and cries out, 'What the hell are you doing here?'
Ron, somehow, mistakes this for a friendly greeting and responds with, 'Hello, Katie loov'.
Katie is having none of it, she approaches him and asks again how he got out. Ron replies that he was granted bail. Katie can't believe that anyone would grant bail to a merrrr-derer! Ron tries to apologise but she's having none of it and gives him some of her miserable pity-me lip. This gets Ron's back up and he defends himself by accusing her of making phantom phone calls to Anthea, saying that there have been mysterious phone calls being received at his house for the past few days, and he wouldn't put it past Katie being behind it.
At that moment, Jacqui sees what's going on from The Parade and runs over, asking the ubiquitous, 'What's going on?'
Miseryface tells her it's nothing to do with her, but Jacqui insists that it is. She tells Katie to lay off as she'll only upset herself and Ron. Miseryface then plays the self-pity card by sarcastically remarking that now that she's a WIDOW, she'll probably turn all bitter and
twisted. (Two things, Katie loov ... Number One: you have to have been married to be a widow. You were not married to Clint, so you are just either the sad arsehole who can't see the forest for the trees or you are fortunate that you didn't get to know what a div he was. And Number Two: you always have been a bitter, twisted, sad little b****. So grow up.)
Jacqui is gob-smacked and tells Katie that she's laying it on a bit thick. She wasn't even married to Clint. Poor pitiful Miseryface exclaims that she was denied the privilege of marrying the sainted Clint by Ron, the wicked evil deranged murderer.
Jacqui scoffs, RIGHTLY saying that Katie is on an EGO trip of self-pity. She only went out with Clint for a year, not even that and they way she was behaving, one would think that she and Clint were about to celebrate their silver wedding anniversary. Miseryface snarls and calls Jacqui a cow, taking a step toward her in true Moffatt fashion. Jacqui calmly tells her to go ahead and hit her. Then Miseryface stops, saying she wouldn't give Jacqui the satisfaction of being able to tell the world that Katie had hit her. (Or maybe, Miseryface, you might have feared that Jacqui would go to the police and claim assault, press charges etc).
Miseryguts tells Jacqui that she can't understand how Jacqui can defend someone who's merr-dered an 'innocent' lad.
As the truly miserable cow departs, Jacqui collapses against Ron, who tells her she's the best daughter any man could have. He returns home, truly shaken.
Over at the Johnsons', Vonnie is prying a confession from the Mekon. Emily tells her the credit card caper was down to the fact that Mick was pressuring her and Tim to pay for the cost of the damaged television. Vonnie surmises that Emily was going to use the card to buy another television. She asks Emily why she should believe her. As she said before, Mick has told her everything about Emily and Tim. Besides, they hardly pay any rent, they treat the place as though they own it, are disrespectful of others in the house and have no respect for property.
Emily tries to say that the television wasn't her fault, but Vonnie reminds her that Mick allows them to stay in the house and they betray his trust by irresponsably throwing a party. Mekon says she isn't trying to blame Tim, but Tim felt pressured into trying to trying to reimburse the money and had told Mick that he would. She pleads with Vonnie not to tell Mick and promises nothing of the sort would happen again if she didn't. She's afraid of having no place to stay. Vonnie gives her the benefit of a doubt, saying that she's going to check to see if Emily truly hasn't used the card. If she finds that she hasn't, she promises not to tell Mick about the incident and to try to have a word with him about cancelling the debt re the telly. Emily confesses to Vonnie that she thought life would be better after marrying Tim, but it's not. Dum-de-dum-dum-DUMMMMMM!
Ron has returned home and is agitated by the confrontation with Katie. Anthea is singing a different tune now and acknowledges that perhaps not everyone will be comfortable with his release. Ron is rueing the fact that he ventured forth for a newspaper.
Jacqui arrives at the Farnhams with Harry and Emma in tow for lunch. She's surprised to find Max home. He asks her if she's had a good day and Jacqui responds that her day has been terrible and starts to cry. Max thinks for a moment that perhaps the kids have played up, but Jacqui assures him that is isn't the children. He puts his arm around her and leads her to the kitchen table. She tells him about the run-in with Katie and again, Max says that Katie needs time. But Jacqui says she said some terrible things about Katie, accusing her of wallowing in self-pity. Max agrees that perhaps Katie is full of self-pity. (Go, Max!). Jacqui says that Katie is blaming her for what happened to Clint and Max reminds her that when someone loses a loved one suddenly, the person often lashes out at everyone and everything. Jacqui thanks him for listening to her as he holds her hand tenderly and leans forward to kiss him. Max moves away, telling her that she misunderstands and apologise for misleading her. She tells Max that she was wrong about what she told him the previous evening. She didn't think she was falling in love with him, she was in love with him. Max doesn't know what to say - he counters by saying that he feels if he succumbs to Jacqui, he would be 'replacing' Susannah and that would be disrespectful. Jacqui says she doesn't want to replace Susannah and can't understand Max's actions as he's obviously attracted to her.
Max waffles about it being too soon after Susannah, then reiterates by saying that after Susannah he couldn't possbily love another woman.
Tim returns home to discover that the Mekon's scheme has been discovered. Needless to say, he's furious and wants to start packing now. Emily is trying to assure him that Vonnie was really nice and was going to bat for them with Mick. Tim can't believe it, asking Emily rhetorically when she was EVER going to learn. They hear Mick stirring upstairs and he asks Emily if Vonnie is about, but Emily says she's out. Well, says Tim, that gives him time to pack before she returns.
Ray knocks on the door of Kitty's room to find an off-screen Kitty collapsed on the floor. He rings the ambulance as Jessie administers to Kitty, played by the same fat hand that portrayed a dead Beth Jordache some seven years ago. Jessie tells Ray that she thinks Kitty has had another stroke.
Back at the Dixons', Anthea is ironing when the telephone rings. This time, there is a voice on the other end, who tells him that he, Ron, might be safe, but his family won't be. Ron starts to reply, but the caller hangs up. Anthea asks what the call was about and Ron fobs her off with a story about double glazing salesmen and telling them to get stuffed. But he turns to face the camera with a worried face.
Observations: Someone, preferably Nisha or perhaps Bev or Victoria, should give Katie a resounding slap and tell her to grow up. I sincerely hope she is among the plethora of characters, some with promise, who are leaving the show imminently. Please, Brookie bods, couldn't Suzanne Collins stay and couldn't you get rid of the miserable mugs of Diane Burke and Bernie Nolan?
Obviously the mystery yob is someone planted by Gobby Robbie the Blobby Yobbie. I hope he isn't allowed to get away with what he's done! Surely this can't be the end of Neil Davies's character? He should be allowed to leave in a suitably humiliating manner, for inflicting his abysmal acting on the viewing public and thereby diminishing ratings in the past year.
Summary © 2001 Marion Watts
Brookside and all related materials are © Mersey Television 1982-2001