Watching Brookside these days is a bit like watching 'Jaws' - just when you think it's safe to go into the water ... Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da ... No, no shark appears, just a boring episode ... But I suppose we need a respite from all the excitement and good writing being aired lately, so I'll not come down too hard on the fact that last night's Brookside bored the tears out of me. Apart from the fact that I actually sat down to watch the episode four minutes after the show started (due to my six year-old falling off her bike and knocking a loose tooth out), to find that I had missed two scenes, bothered me at first; but when I saw the calibre of the rest of the show, I wasn't very worried.
Anyway, if anyone wants to fill me in on the four minutes missed, please do so, because I'll be furniture shopping on Saturday and probably will forget to tape the omnibus.
This is where I came in ...
Katie is standing on the Dixon's doorstep. Anthea is surprised, yet pleased to see her (but then, Anthea always did tend to see the good in people; that's why she got mixed up with Ron). Katie explains that she's been going over and over in her mind the events of the night Clint was killed and now she wants to see Ron. She wants to hear his side of the story, to try and make sense of the killing, to make it complete in her mind. Does Anthea think it would be OK if she visited Ron? Would he want to see her?
Anthea is clearly touched. She tells Katie that Ron has been asking after her, that he's always had a soft spot for her,and he'd truly be glad to see her. In fact, she was just on her way to see him now, and Katie was welcome to come along. She'd just call the prison to see if it would be OK for Katie to come. Katie agrees, but declines Anthea's invitation to wait inside.
One of the scenes I missed obviously concerned something upsetting Nikki in the bar, because Bev is ushering her into her office and Nikki is in tears. Again, Bev asks Nikki why she doesn't finish with Jerome. He isn't worth the effort Nikki puts into their relationship. Nikki is certain Nisha has dumped Jerome. Well, says Bev, what's your problem? Isn't that what Nikki wanted?
Nikki explains that she wanted JEROME to dump Nisha. She wanted Jerome to CHOOSE Nikki over Nisha, not to remain with Nikki because Nisha had rejected him and there was nothing better on offer. In fact, now that Nisha had dumped him, she was sure Jerome was going to dump her. Nikki almost knows that, when her shift ends on that day, Jerome will show up and she can almost hear him saying, 'Sorry, Nikki, it's not you, it's me ...'
She asks Bev if she's ever been dumped. Bev says she has, many times. Nikki asks Bev if she ever knew when the fella was going to dump her, and Bev sadly nods, then Bev asks Nikki why SHE doesn't make the first move and dump Jerome. Nikki didn't need him; she was an attractive girl. Sans Jerome, she'd have the men all around her like flies around muck.
Nikki says she loves Jerome and doesn't want to be with anyone else. She's only been with three men in her life - the first one drugged and raped her, so she didn't know what happened, the second was a one-night stand just to prove to herself she could still attract men (and they didn't even have sex because she was too drunk) and the third was Jerome. He stood by her when she was at her worst, even forgiving her her one-night stand. She didn't want to be without him - and intimates that she couldn't stand the thought of going on the pull and suffering endless chat-ups if they finished. (In other words, Jerome was familiar and safe).
Bev listens and tells her that Nikki is going to have to air all this with Jerome. They have to be honest with each other if they are going to continue as a couple. Nikki says Jerome is coming around after her shift and she'll sort things then.
Jacqui is at Max's listening to Max opine about the headstone yet again. He's started on his relationship with Susannah. It was left unfinished and incomplete, as incomplete as her name on that blasted headstone. Why, Lisa couldn't even get her name right - Susannah Morrissey, as if! Jacqui tells him that that was Susannah's correct name - it was the name she was given at birth and the one she chose at the time of her death. But the rest of the headstone, groans Max, no mention of him.. (Actually, this seems to be the bugaboo that's bothering Max the most.) But anyway, he had that solved. The stone should have read: 'Susannah Farnham (nee Morrissey), beloved mother of Harry and Emma, loving wife of Max, now together with Matthew and Emily, R.I.P.' Why, Lisa couldn't even mention 'R.I.P.'
Jacqui suspects something and asks Max what he's up to. Well, Max has a replacement headstone. He intends to remove the one on her grave at the moment and replace it with his. Jacqui is appalled and tells Max he can't do that. Susannah's headstone was put there by her next-of-kin, saying what THEY had wanted. If he removed it, it was probably against the law, in fact some would construe it as descecration.
Max is taken aback with this suggestion, but wonders who would notice the change in stone anyway. He says Lisa hasn't been near the grave since Susannah was buried. In fact, it was he, Max, who tended the grave, weeded it weekly and brought fresh flowers regularly.
Back at Bev's, Nikki is serving at the bar when the Two-Watt Bulb (hereafter TWB) appears in full glow. She orders a drink and tells Nikki to have one for herself. Nikki steals a glance at Bev and decides she wants a large vodka. She asks TWB what she's doing in the bar at that time of day, shouldn't TWB be at work? TWB says that the creche isn't very busy at the moment; in fact there's been hardly anyone in all day. Nikki asks how TWB and Plank are getting along.
TWB starts to preen. According to her, they're thick as hair on a dog's back. In fact, her dad treated them both to an ace meal in celebration of Plank's having attained 21. They're getting along very nicely. In fact, TWB reckons that any day now, Plank will be popping the question. Nikki is intrigued. Well, says TWB, if he doesn't ask her, SHE'S going to ask him..
Katie and Anthea, meanwhile, are seated opposite Ron in the visitors' area of the remand centre. Katie, looking more sorry for herself than for anyone else, tells Ron that she wants to hear his side of the story. Ron is speaking, saying he never meant to kill Flint, he was trying to protect his family. He carries on, saying that he's been thinking of Katie, he's always had a soft spot for her and felt for her as if she were one of his own as she had been in and out of the Dixons since she was a little girl. At first Ron had no idea what the Moffats were like, in fact he thought that Robbie was a fine lad. But then, he awkwardly says, Katie musn't feel any blame in this.
Katie is puzzled. Why should she feel blame? Ron explains that Katie wasn't to know what Clint was like. Katie says she knew exactly what Clint was like and he was no thief, but Ron was a murderer, a cold-blooded murderer, and she hopes he rots in prison. Anthea is horrified and tries to calm her down, suggesting that perhaps Ron phrased his words awkwardly. Besides, she thought Katie had come here to hear Ron's side of the story. Katie laughs briefly and discloses that she only came here to tell him what she thought of him and then spits openly in his face.
Non-Party Political Interlude: Nikki is again serving at the bar, with Lance by her side. Nikki remembers and announces that there is an election is next week. Lance suddenly has a bright idea! He'll ask Bev if they could have an election party at the bar! They could bring a wide-screen telly in to broadcast the results, and for publicity, they could make up red, blue and yellow flyers for the event and go around to all the polling stations to distribute them, with a loudspeaker saying, 'Vote for Bev's Bar!' Nikki looks at him disdainfully and remarks that that isn't exactly the right idea.
Jacqui is still trying to talk Max out of the headstone, but Max begins to tell Jacqui WHY he feels so strongly about the headstone and what he wants it to say. He feels responsible for Susannah's death. Jacqui doesn't understand. Max said he visited her on the night of her death; they quarrelled and he 'got her in a right state'. Jacqui said that that much happened between her and Susannah as well. Max feels that if he hadn't quarrelled with Susannah, perhaps she'd be alive today. (Note: he doesn't tell Jacqui about the scene at the top of the landing).
Jacqui says Max mustn't torture himself with suppositions. Maybe she wouldn't have died, but maybe she would have. Then Max confesses that when the police were called about Susannah's death and Max was with her, that wasn't when he first found her. In fact he had discovered her body days before. Jacqui asks Max why he didn't inform the police. Max explains that by not bringing the police into it, it delayed him telling the kids about Susannah's death, remarking how difficult it is to explain to a two year-old that his mother is dead.
Jerome and Plank sit outside the bar on a bench (probably one of Plank's relatives in another life). Jerome is musing about his relationship with Nikki.. He's not sure whether to continue in the same vein or not, not sure what she wants or what he wants. He asks Plank how he and TWB are getting along. Plank says they are fine; in fact, her dad actually likes him. Jerome is impressed. Plank must be doing something right, because Nikki told him that TWB's father never liked Jason. Plank remembers hearing that Jason never liked Jerome. Jerome agrees; and discloses that Nikki's dad never liked him either. But he could understand that, saying that they were only interested in protecting Nikki after everything that had happened to her. (No, you can't understand, Jerome. You'd like to, but the writers won't let you. Because Jason and Greg were originally intended to be racists!) Anyway, he knows that Nikki really misses them. And he resumes his guilty look.
However, continues Plank, there's only one thing that's bothering him about his relationship with TWB. He shows Jerome the gold bracelet on his wrist. He hates it. It's not him at all. She said he'd get used to it, but it's just getting in his way. But he feels he must wear it - after all, it was a gift from her and it cost a lot of money. Jerome tells Plank that Plank is going to have to use all his charm to get out of that situation.. Plank furrows his brow and gives a good impression of looking worried. He can't see a way out of it. Jerome suggests that he talk to TWB, agree to wear the bracelet when the two are out together in public, for her sake; but she shouldn't expect him to wear it all the time. Plank looks grateful. That appears to be the solution to his problem, and Jerome gets up to leave. As the camera pulls away from the two, we see Nikki standing pensively in the door of the bar.
Back at the prison, Ron is attempting to explain his side of the story to an unresponsive and vindictive Katie. She must try and understand. His family had been through hell during the past few months, with repeated burglaries and harassment. Katie maintains that had nothing to do with Flint. Ron tactfully igores that remark and reminds her that he was out of his mind with worry and on that night in particular, he had been being terrorised by a group of yobs at a party at the Johnsons'. Katie again says that that had nothing to do with Flint. But Ron then asks her what exactly Flint was doing in his home after midnight. He certainly hadn't come in through the front door. For a brief moment, Katie is lost for words, but she then accuses Ron over the shotgun.
What sort of man keeps a gun in the house anyway, a shotgun? A person doesn't keep a gun unless he's going to use it. Anthea, again, attempts to calm her down by saying that Ron realises that possessing the gun was wrong. Katie maintains that Ron didn't need to shoot Flint and Ron asks why Flint didn't identify himself. Katie accuses Ron of not shouting a warning, and Ron - who is obviously flustered because I cannot explain this glaring lapse of continuity on the part of Ron - appears to concur. Then Ron gets a bit of his own feistiness back.
He counters to Katie that he was protecting his family. He had no idea that the intruder was Flint and asks her what he should have done. He then reminds her that if he REALLY wanted to, he could pin the ultimate blame on her for all this bother. Katie is genuinely puzzled. Ron informs her that he seems to recall that it was KATIE who introduced the Dixons to the Moffatts, KATIE who first brought Flint into the house and KATIE who got Robbie Moffatt together with Jacqui.
Perhaps Ron's hit upon a grain of truth that jars the abject shite out of Katie (true, as Gray says, Katie never likes to hear anything truthful that she doesn't like). Katie informs Ron that the papers have him down as some sort of hero, but she's going to ensure that he stays in prison until he dies. She's screaming this so loud that other prisoners and their visitors, as well as the prison guards are looking around at the Dixon table. Anthea tells her to lower her voice, because the guards will have to come over shortly; but Katie continues her disjointed rant at Ron, about how he destroyed everything she ever loved. In fact, she hates Ron; she always has hated him and only tolerated him because of Jacqui. (Er, Katie, love ... You have just proven what a BIG user of people, and of the Dixons in particular, you are. And what a supremely selfish cow). Anthea, then motions to the guards and asks them to remove Katie, who leaves forcibly, vowing to do everything she can to make sure Ron remains in prison.
The Plank and TWB are seated on the Murray sofa having a mega snog, when the Blessed Mother hops spritely into the room, a mug of tea in each hand and her usual idiotic grin on her face. If ANYONE can interrupt a personal moment, it's Dire Murray. She's bouncier than usual for a reason and asks the couple to guess what happened that day. Plank looks blank and the TWB doesn't light up. Blessed Mother awaits revelation and when none is forthcoming, she informs them that she saw her specialist today, and her pituitary gland is now officially inactive.
Suddenly TWB is all aglow. To reinforce the meaning for Plank the Blank, Blessed Mother informs him that she can now start her second phase of IVF. (MESSAGE TO THE BROOKSIDE WRITERS: END THIS FARCE NOW. WE ARE BORED WITH THE IVF STORYLINE AND BORED WITH DIRE MURRAY. THE LINE IS BADLY WRITTEN, BADLY RESEARCHED, BADLY PRESENTED AND BADLY, BADLY, BADLY ACTED. WE FEEL NO SYMPATHY WITH DIRE MURRAY, YET ANOTHER SELFISH BROOKSIDE WOMAN. IN FACT, WE ONLY FEEL CONTINUED ANNOYANCE AT HER PRESENCE).
Jacqui is still visiting Max, only now the two appear to be swapping horror stories about their love lives. Jacqui tells him that she had one fiancé who left her standing at the altar - could Max top that? Max ruefully laughs and says he thinks he could. Jacqui continues ... And her next boyfriend beat her up. Max remarks that any man who raises a hand in violence against a woman is scum and deserves the worst life can offer. He pauses and thanks Jacqui. He finds her amazing - she's dealing with so much strife in her own life: Ron's predicament, Mike, the altercations with Katie and Robbie - any yet she finds time for him and the children.
The two exchange a lingering look and Max slightly inclines his head toward Jacqui. For a moment, it looks as if he might kiss her, but Jacqui moves slightly back and briefly says, 'You can't, you know'.
Max stirs a bit and looks quizzical and a bit embarrassed; but Jacqui rescues the situation:'I mean, the headstone,' she says. 'You can't change it, you know.'
Max sadly acknowledges that he can't and rests his head on Jacqui's shoulder as she takes him in her arms.
It's the end of Nikki's shift and she comes to sit by Jerome in the bar. She needs to talk to him, about their relationship. Jerome looks even more uncomfortable than normal, if that's possible. She wants to know how Jerome thinks they are as a couple. Jerome shrugs and says he reckons they are all right. Nikki says all right isn't good enough. They are supposed to be in love. 'All right' means they are just getting by, just coping. It won't do. Anyway, Nikki thinks she knows what's on Jerome's mind. Jerome squirms uncomfortably and looks around frantically for a hole in the floor to swallow him up.
He tries to say that he's had uni and coursework on his mind lately, but Nikki refuses to believe it. She knows that they are having problems as a couple and she asks if the problem is she. Jerome says she's OK; she's not the problem. Nikki then asks if it's sex, but Jerome says their sex life is fine. Nikki continues. She thinks it's down to sex. She's noticed lately that Jerome hasn't been holding back as much, but she fears she's doing something wrong. She asks him to tell her what he wants her to do, she could change. Jerome assures her that that part of their relationship is fine. But Nikki doesn't think so - and then she informs Jerome that she is thinking about finishing with him..
Anthea and Ron are saying their good-byes at the remand centre. Anthea is apologising again to Ron for bringing Katie. She had no idea what Katie was up to. Ron admits that Katie took the wind out of him. He knew it was wrong to kill someone, but he was acting in self-defence. He wonders if everyone else shares Katie's view. Anthea tells Ron he mustn't worry about what Katie said, but Ron is clearly shaken.
Nikki and Jerome appear to have shared a long silence in the interval. Nikki breaks the silence by asking Jerome who he thinks is the perfect couple. Jerome doesn't understand, but Nikki continues. A perfect couple. Jerome must have some idea of whom. Jerome thinks a moment and ventures that at the moment Plank and TWB seem to be getting on like a house on fire. Nikki scoffs. Why, they've only known each other five minutes - they were still in the honeymoon period of their relationship. No. She means a couple who've been together for yonks and appear to have the perfect relationship.
Jerome thinks again and mentions his parents. They were married a long time before his dad died. Nikki asks if his parents ever argued. Jerome sighs - DID they? Of course, they did. All couples argue. Then, says Nikki, they weren't the perfect couple. (Nikki seems to have developed a pathetically simple view that people in love should go through life without any sort of disagreement). She then expounds on the Rod Steward Relationship Philosophy, by musing that maybe, instead of having one long=term relationship, people should go through life having a series of short flings. When they appeared to be approaching the end of the honeymoon phase, they could finish with each other and move onto the next relationship. She asks Jerome if he loves her.
Jerome says he does. Then Nikki takes the bull by the horns. Does he love her enough to marry her? Jerome is lost for words. Because, says Nikki, that's what she wants. If Jerome truly loves her, he'll want to marry her. So how about they get married?
Back at the Murrays, the Plank and TWB are again enjoying a mega snog, when Plank pulls tentativel away from her grasp. TWB lights up and asks what's the matter. Plank's brow furrows again and he admits that he's got something on his mind and needs to ask her a question. TWB burns even brighter. What a coincidence! She's got something on her one brain cell and wants to ask him a question to. He demurs in her favour, but she insists that he ask first. Well ... It appears Plank's bracelet is bothering him. It isn't that he doesn't like it, he does. But it's getting in his way and he can't get used to it. Would TWB mind awfully if he only wore it when they were out together?
TWB can't mask her disappointment. Was that ALL he wanted to ask her? Well, yes, it was. Suddenly, she gets her annual idea. Of course, Plank could exchange the bracelet for a ring, if he wanted. That seems like a good idea to Plank ... But wait! TWB means an engagement ring for HER as HIS 21st present! Go figure.
Observations:
Line of the night: Bev's remark about men hanging about Nikki like flies around muck.
Summary © 2001 Marion Watts
Brookside and all related materials are © Mersey Television 1982-2001