Wednesday, 6th December 2000

One hour episode.
Scripts by Debbie Oates and Maurice Bessman.

Jacqui asks Max if it would help if she looked after the kids for him - he's looking harassed and yes, Jacqui's got an ulterior motive, of course! Max declines, saying that he has everything under control and that Harry and Emma are at the crèche.

Jacqui tries another tack and suggests that she could take care of Harry - say a couple of days a week. Max gets quite worked up and refuses point blank, saying that the kids need "continuity", not "outsiders coming into their lives".

Mind you, Max *is* in need of *someone* to do him a favour - he and Lisa need someone to look after the restaurant. The relief manager is about to depart and so Max asks Mick if he would do it. Mick initially refuses but later changes his mind.

That sorted, Max then heads off to the Chapel of Rest and sits with the coffin for a while (ages, actually). He finds it difficult to leave and then asks the undertaker if Susannah could come home - as soon as possible.

Back on the Close, Tim, trying to see Emily, is caught by Jessie skulking around her back garden. She hands him, together with a few choice words, to Mick who continues the bollocking, calling Tim a "freeloading scally". Mick tells Tim that he should have stuck to his word a while back about making Tim find somewhere else to live.

Tim wants to know the outcome of Emily's court hearing, but no-one's telling. Jessie only said that Emily has "gone away" and Tim fears the worst.

Mick and Tim later make up and Mick finds out from Jessie, on Tim's behalf, that Margi has taken Emily to Brussels. Tim is no longer required to find new lodgings.

It's Ant Murray's big night as he gets to play second sheep in the school nativity. Unfortunately, Diane dozes off and misses Ant's one line. He's upset and blames the forthcoming baby.

Robbie appears out of the blue, wanting to talk to Jacqui. During this conversation, Jacqui tells him that she has little or no interest in Harry. He believes her and they snog.

Lindsey is in a frightful mood and tells Jackie why - because Shelley's got another woman. It's not long before Lindsey is confronting Shelley about it and the interminable argument about their break up, now including the identity of "Mrs X", scales new heights. Sadly, Shelley still refuses to name names.

Back home, Jackie is shocked to find out how much Lindsey now knows but tries to tell her to put it behind her. Lindsey, however, plans to do exactly the opposite:

"I promise you one thing, Mum, I'm going find out who the cow is. I'm going kill her."

Oh, okay. But we'll see!

[First thirty minutes - believed written by Debbie Oates]

Anthony's lying to the sofa, reading a medical dictionary and claiming to be ill. Diane takes his temperature:

"36.7," she says.

"No wonder I feel sick," replies Anthony. LOL!

Diane thinks that he's just attention seeking because of the new baby and due to the fact that she fell asleep during his school play. Bridge tries to talk to him but doesn't fare much better.

"All she [Diane] wants is her own baby," whines Ant, "then we'll get binned off."

Bev's making plans for Christmas and Shelley says that she won't be seeing "Mrs X" over the festive period. Bev seems particularly disappointed and offers to have a word, if it'll help and insists that her "lips will be stapled on this one". Unsurprisingly, Shelley declines.

Later, Bev's in the garage and tells Jackie that she's still working on Shelley in order to establish the identity of the mysterious woman and that she'll keep Jackie posted! Hmm, I'd like to see that!

Vonnie turns up at Mick's, unannounced. She's hoping that they might have some sort of future together but Mick doesn't and they're quickly at odds with one another again. Vonnie (sorry, it's Yvonne now, apparently) leaves just as Jerome comes home.

"What have you done to her now?" he asks Mick, as it's clear that Vonnie, er, Yvonne is keen to scoot.

"Nothing," replies Mick. "There's nothing going on between me and your Mum. Now or ever."

Lindsey goes to visit Jimmy at the hospital. Jim tells her how well he's doing and that he was about to be sent home - until he started saying how much he identifies with Van Gogh, especially the bit where he chops his ear off. The nursing staff felt this to be an "inappropriate response" and decided that he needed further treatment. I hope that Jimmy also gets assessed somewhat more scientifically as well!

Nevertheless, Jimmy's hopeful that he'll get out before too long. "You're gonna see a new me, Linds," he predicts. [Another one? - Ed]

Max is making arrangements for the arrival of Susannah's coffin. The kids are at the crèche. Trona thinks that Max is mad and fears that the kids will be scared when they eventually get to see the coffin. It duly arrives, watched by Mick and the Murray's from their respective houses.

Max hasn't yet set a date for the funeral. In fact, he seems intent on avoiding doing so and looks to want to keep the coffin in the house "for ever". Well, it'll be a talking point, if he does: "Have you met the wife...?".

Jackie, livid with Shelley, charges up to Bev's flat the first chance she gets. The usual row follows:

"I still love you."

"Shut up. You are a spiteful, perverted little bitch."

Okay, it's the usual row, livened up (thankfully) with some more colourful language.

"You knew exactly what you were doing when you slept with me and by my estimations, you enjoyed it."

Jackie, enraged, picks up a vase and lobs it in Shelley's direction. It misses her and flies through he open window (yes, wide open - in December!) and smashes on the Parade below, in front of Lindsey and Bev. It's followed by a second one. Jackie must be a particularly poor shot!

Bev and Lindsey hear voices and rush up to the flat where they find Shelley and Jackie in a tussle on the floor.

"Mum, what the hell's going on?"

Shelley and Jackie both look highly embarrassed. This explanation had better be good - but will they be able to think of one? Or, will Bev have enough clues now to be able to work it out for herself?

[Final thirty minutes - believed written by Maurice Bessman]

That's it, I'm afraid. This has to be the last update. Thank you to everyone for your support.