Picking up immediately where we left on Friday:
Greg: "Look, I know it looks bad."
Jessie: "Bad?"
Susannah: "Greg very kindly came round to do a job for me." [yeah, right!]
Jessie: "I can see by the colour of your face what he's done for you." [oooh!]
Greg: "I needed a shower."
Jessie: "There's a shower next door." [ and no, by that she doesn't mean the Mussies!] "You're naked, she's naked and your wife's away for a week. Do you think I'm stupid?"
Jessie continues, demanding to know exactly how long this liaison has been going on. Before the trial? During the trial? During the investigations? Greg doesn't give many answers so Jessie works it all out from what *isn't* denied (if you see what I mean!). Lost for a means of extricating himself, he challenges Jessie over *her* relationship with Alec. That's no different to me and Susannah, he contends. Of course, Jessie doesn't see it *quite* that way.
Over on the parade, Mr Moore is still doing a fine impression of Mr Carnegie the rat inspector [Fawlty Towers, 1979] and at the same time managing to spook Tinhead, so much so that Tin thinks that Mr M is following him. Tin, together with Matt Mussie make it back to the Close safely and shut themselves in the garage! LOL!
"He's after me", explains Tinhead to a much puzzled Matt. Obviously this isn't sufficient for Matt to understand Tin's bizarre behaviour, so Tin has to explain the whole business.
"There's something about him. All that Wrexham stuff is just a cover. He's not a Wrexham fan - he's a serial killer", says Tin, reaching the end of his story.
Fortunately for Tinhead, Mr Moore *wasn't* following him, he was merely making his way to Susannah's where, having knocked on the door, he is startled by an enraged lady in a vivid green mac emerging from the house quickly followed by a man, so het up that he hasn't bothered to button up his shirt!
"Miss Morrissey - is she available?", splutters Mr Moore to the green mac as it flashes by.
"Usually" huffed the mac. ROTFL- priceless!
If Susannah had spared the time to listen to Mr Moore properly, she would have learnt that the restaurant is in the clear and is no longer a suspect for the food poisoning. "Good", was all Susannah could say, haughtily, slamming the door.
The next day (which *could* be Saturday 10 July, but you know I can't keep up!), is Kelly Musgrove's birthday. She's dropped so many hints that Ryan should get her a pink mini-skirt, that she's not surprised when he actually does (well, with Katie's help, he does).
When the postman calls, Kelly *is* surprised - she gets a hand-written card from her mother (which says on the front "on your first birthday" - no it doesn't, only joking!). She also gets a card from Luke and uses it to taunt Matt:
"He managed to get me a card and he's in prison. You can't manage it and you live 'ere."
"Yeah, well, I suppose he's got nothing else to do all day but look at calendars" replies Matt.
In fact Matt got more post than Kelly did and all of it related to the now defunct Shad web-site. This was useful when Jerome came calling demanding his money back (again), for Matt was able to show him the correspondence in an effort to keep him aboard. Well, that was the idea, at least, except that the letter which Matt waved about in front of him happened to be from an aggrieved customer demanding his Stones of Shad *and* threatening the might of Winking Anne Robinson if they weren't despatched by return. Jerome relented and gave Matt one week to find the money.
It's time for Little Ruthie to return to Bristol (after a rather long fortnight's visit, if you ask me!) and Rachel is fretting over how to tell Mandy that the kid likes a drop of bleach (I don't see why that should be a problem - I'm sure you can buy it in Bristol), but fortunately Sinbad has already called her and explained. It seems that Mandy has taken this news okay since she hasn't hot-footed it up to Liverpool to rescue her! Still, it's probably best that Ruthie goes home now, before Sinbad gets a chance to feed her one of his pies!
Watching Sinbad say his goodbyes is Ryan, who is approached by Katie. Blinking back a tear or two, he is visibly upset by the sight (of Ruth and Sinbad, not Katie - oh, I don't know, though!) and comments mysteriously about families:
"What's that little kid ever done to deserve getting separated from her family?"
"Is this about Luke?", probes Katie gently.
"Yeah" mumbles Ryan, obviously lying. [the 'Carlisle' secret is about to be outed, I think]
Up in the yuppie flat, Darren and Vic are disturbed by the appearance of Mark. They're both getting quite fed up with his intrusions by now, so Darren tries a different tack.
"Are you mentally challenged or is this the result of some childhood trauma?", he asks.
Mark assumes, wrongly, that Darren hasn't yet spoken to Vic on his behalf, but for whatever reason, Darren decides to leave him in his ignorance.
Round two of the Jessie/Greg/Susannah battle takes place at Number Seven, when Jessie calls round to talk to Suse in the hope that things can be discussed more sensibly than they were the previous evening. Some chance of that, when the two of them start by racing to see whether Jessie can resign her cleaning job before Susannah can sack her!
With that little dispute settled, Jessie accuses Susannah of messing up Greg's life - an assertion which causes Susannah to feel most put-out:
"I'm not messing up his life; I'm the making of it." (!)
Jessie isn't impressed and tells Susannah that she'll do whatever is necessary to save her son's marriage. "I've seen that woman [Margi] make mincemeat of a PE teacher twice your size. She'll leave you without a hair on your head" threatens the big green mac lady. "Gulp", I think, is Susannah's reaction.
With Susannah now put in her place, the mac strides over to the bungalow for round three, where Greg gets an earful.
"You should be on my side" he contests.
"Why?"
"You're *my* mother, not Margi's."
Greg tries to explain how he hasn't seen enough of Margi in recent weeks what with the new job (*and* she's always knackered), let alone the trauma of the rape. Jessie, however, isn't prepared to accept any of that:
"It's just an excuse. What this comes down to is *sex*."
"Are you gonna tell her? [Margi]", asks Greg, fearfully.
"You'll just have to wait and see, won't ya" is the only response he gets.
Back on the parade, the wonderful Mr Moore is back checking over the chippy. Sinbad is keen to be as helpful as he can, given the peculiar circumstances in which they last saw each other. 'Health inspector with a grudge' was how Sin referred to him in a conversation with Tin. 'Pie inspector with a chip on his shoulder' is what I'd have said!
"I see Tim's boxed you off with a cuppa" says Sinbad as Mr M approaches.
"A thoughtful gesture, Timothy" says the pie inspector. "Just one tiny cavil."
"What?" asks Tin (meaning 'what are you talking about you old duffer?' rather than 'what is your complaint, Mr Moore, sir?').
"There is a chip in the mug."
"Want a bit of fish with it, then?" retorts Tinhead, quick as a flash. LOL!
Changing the subject, Sinbad asks whether everything is okay, but Mr Moore is not to be drawn insisting that his report will be available in the usual way.
Tantalisingly, he adds: "But, I *can* confirm at this stage, that Chips with Everything is a prime suspect."
Chips with Everything - and that includes mugs, eh?
Summary © 1999 Graeme Selway
Brookside and all related materials are © Mersey Television 1982-2001