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CHAPTER: 11 THE MORNING AFTER
Lindsey awoke and felt two arms protectively wrapped round her. She
knew she wasn't in her hotel room with Shelley, Shelley never held her
not even when they had been happy together, Shelley always slept with
her back to Lindsey. But Callum hadn't, Callum had held onto her all night
savoring every moment. She knew by the way he had held her that he knew
it wasn't going to last. Lindsey didn't move she lay perfectly still in
his arms. She didn't know how she felt, her emotions were mixed and it
wasn't like her, she always knew if she wanted to be with someone but
with Callum everything was wrong. He loved her and she knew that, she
hated what he had done to her, but she didn't hate him as a person, that
she knew. Everything was confused, she enjoyed being with Callum lately,
but how long could that last? How long would it be before he changed again?
As Callum began to stir Lindsey froze waiting to see what he would do
once he was awake. How would he react when Lindsey said that she couldn't
stay, that she had to leave?
Callum woke and looked down at Lindsey, who was pretending to be asleep.
Callum snuggled closer into her back. Her warm flesh felt good as he reflected
on how long he had waited and dreamed for this moment. Then he thought
about how Lindsey might feel once she woke, would she panic? Would she
dash back to Shelley the second she got the chance? 'Probably' Callum
thought, then decided not think about that time, that was in the future,
'The too near future' he thought to himself, but for now he could enjoy
the brief time he had left with her.
Lindsey cursed herself as she realized that she liked the fact that Callum
had moved even closer to her, she cursed herself for the fact she had
loved every second of the previous night, the fact that she loved the
way Callum touched her, it was so gentle and so incredibly arousing. Every
man she had been with in the past had never really used their hands but
Callum seemed to have known exactly what Lindsey had wanted. Lindsey though
believed that he had been doing it more for himself, he had wanted to
make the moment last as long as possible, and deep down so had she.
Lindsey was close to tears now, she had enjoyed every moment that she
had spent with Callum and she hated that fact, she had hated Callum once
and still believed that she did. But the longer she lay thinking about
it, the more she seemed to convince herself that she had every reason
to like him, he had made her happy and no one had done that for a long
time, in fact when she thought about it no man she had been with had made
her truly happy, they had all betrayed at one point or another, Callum
though had hurt physically and now he seemed to be healing that physical
pain by healing the emotional wounds left by the likes of Barry Grant.
Barry Grant, if it hadn't been for him she would never have met Callum
and now she didn't know whether to thank him for that or carry on using
it as one of many reasons to hate him.
'No!' she snapped at herself, she had always been so sure of where she
stood with Callum, she hated him and he hated her, but that wasn't the
case anymore, he loved her and she just didn't know anymore. It was at
this point that she jumped up into a sitting position on the bed with
her back to Callum.
" What’s wrong?" he sat up with a start, this was the moment
he had been fearing, when Lindsey realized what she had done and regretted
it, he just didn't expect it to come so soon.
" Nothing I-I just better get back to the hotel, Shelley will be
wondering where I am" Lindsey went to get up from the bed, but Callum
carefully pulled her back.
" Lindsey do me a favour, go back because you regret what happened,
go back because you hate me, but please for gods sake don't go back because
you're worried about Shelley" the tone in his voice was soft, but
she could hear the pleading tone that lay underneath that he was trying
to hide. This only made her even more confused, she turned to look at
him, his face was soft and he was hiding nothing from her, she could see
there every emotion he was feeling at that moment, the desperation for
her to stay but most of all the genuine love that he had tried so hard
to deny. As she saw this she found herself asking herself what was the
hardest question she had ever had to answer, did she hate him?
" Callum really I wish I could stay, but the longer I do...."
she couldn't speak the words, she couldn't tell him that the more time
she spent with him, the harder it became to leave " the worse the
argument with Shelley will be" she lied, the arguments with Shelley
couldn't get much worse than they already were.
" So if you're going back to an argument, why bother?" Callum
countered her defence, she was lost, she knew he would use any excuse
to make her stay.
" What? So you're saying never go back at all" Lindsey in return
turned his argument against him just like he had with her.
" No" he sighed " that’s not what I'm saying"
" Then what are you saying?"
" Just stay here, at least until morning. Just relax while you can"
he no longer tried to hide the pleading in his voice " That’s
all I'm asking"
" Alright, okay, you and your powers of persuasion" she mocked
as she flopped back into his arms, she turned to face him " But only
until morning, you do realize that"
" Yeah" he spoke quietly, Lindsey thought he sounded on the
verge of pitiful.
But she had no pity for this man, or so she had convinced herself. Lindsey
though was about to learn a very hard lesson once morning came, it was
a thin line between love and hate, and as someone once said your enemies
were often more trustworthy than the people you called your friends.
CHAPTER: 12 TO LEAVE OR STAY
When Lindsey woke she turned to see Callum one last time, just to
remember what it was like lying beside him, but he wasn't there. Lindsey
jumped up and looked round the room, after a couple of seconds she realized
that the balcony doors were open. Her immediate thought was ‘My god
he might have jumped'. She found a dressing gown beside the bed and pulled
it on.
As she approached the doors she saw his figure standing just out of the
door.
" Morning" she spoke, her voice was surprisingly quiet.
" Morning" he replied without turning to face her, his voice
was very coarse. Lindsey found herself feeling sorry for him, she thought
about what Kel had said in the club that night 'Poor Callum, all those
women that want him and he had to fall for the one that wasn't interested'
Lindsey for the first time began to wonder exactly why he chose her over
all those other women.
" Callum," she took a step forward and smelt the freshness of
him, she knew he'd been in the shower.
" Yeah" he still didn't turn to face her.
" I'd like to talk to you" she came closer her chest almost
touching his back. Callum could feel the closeness of her and it was burning
him, he wanted to grab her, he wanted to hold her and never let go, but
he couldn't. As he turned to face her he wondered what it was that had
made him turn so soft, after everything he had put her through he suddenly
couldn't bear to let her go.
" What about?" he asked trying to push the thought of how sexy
she looked to the back of his mind.
" Just.....stuff" she said not being able to think of what to
say " I want to know why me?" she suddenly found herself saying.
" What do you mean, why you?"
" I mean why did you pick me? Why did it have to be me that you fell
for?"
" You know something Lindsey, I must have asked myself that question
a thousand times and I still don't know" Callum walked back to the
bed and sat on the edge. Lindsey followed him and stood a short distance
away. " Do you want to know what I think it was?" he asked looking
up at her from where he sat hunched forward.
" What?"
" The fact that you never gave in to me, you know, its like everyone
else just bowed down to me but you never did, you always stood up to me
no matter what and I-I just found that incredibly attractive" Callum
admitted.
" I thought you would've found it irritating" Lindsey replied
grinning. She couldn't believe that he'd fallen for her because she was
always causing him trouble.
" Yeah well it wasn't just that" Callum replied dropping his
head but still looking up slightly.
" What? What else was it?" Lindsey could see the sly smile on
his face and she knew he was embarrassed by talking like this, but she
was determined to make him tell her.
" Well, it was the first time I really saw you" he eventually
answered.
" When?" Lindsey asked frowning.
" You were coming out of the bar and Barry Grant ran out after you"
Lindsey watched him closely as she saw the expression on his face
change as he remembered the first time he saw her " You turned to
face him" he was speaking slowly and she knew it was because the
thought upset him, but she didn't know why " and you smiled at him"
he looked up at her, he could still see that smile in his head and it
was his best memory of her. He knew he wasn't the only person who had
hurt her, but he always remembered how happy she had been with Barry,
it was the only time in four years that he could remember her been genuinely
happy.
" So that was it? You saw me, I smiled and you lost yourself"
" That was the only time I ever saw you smile like that, you looked.....
truly happy"
" Yeah and look where he got me. Son of a bitch probably hurt me
more than anyone else ever did" Lindsey sat down next Callum and
looked at him. Slowly she put a hand to the back of his head and softly
ran her hand over his hair. " You made me happier last night than
Barry ever did Callum" Lindsey spoke in almost a whisper, she felt
choked with emotion. Callum looked round at her and she smiled, a broad
grin spread across Callum's face as he realized this smile which she was
giving to him now was the smile he had fell in love with so long ago.
Lindsey didn't take her hand away as, instead she pulled him towards
her, her lips searching for his. He felt her kissing him and he felt his
own impassioned response. He couldn't believe it, as she moved so close
to him, as their bodies pressed together in the passionate embrace, that
she was still leaving, that she still was going to walk out the door and
fly back to Britain in a matter of hours. Lindsey suddenly broke the kiss
and stood up.
" God I have got to stop doing this" she snapped out loud at
herself.
" Stop doing what?" Callum was still sitting on the bed but
was watching her every move.
" Doing that, god I just look at you and I want to......I have to
get a grip, I am going home today and I'm still here with you, its not
right" Lindsey grabbed her clothes. Callum jumped up and came towards
her.
" No maybe its not right, not to other people, but what about you?
How does it feel to you?" Lindsey looked at Callum who was standing
close to her side.
" It feels....It-it felt good okay, I admit that, but it was wrong
Callum can't you see that"
" No, no I can't because I want you so much and I know that you had
no problem with what happened last night, and I know that you were happy
for the first time in ages last night" Lindsey continued to stare
at the floor as she listened to what Callum was saying, he wasn't making
any assumptions about her feelings for him, he merely spoke what he knew
was true
" Be honest Lindsey, you haven't felt that good in a while now have
you?"
" No" she eventually admitted " but at the same time I
can still feel that it was wrong" Callum sighed.
" Lindsey how can it be wrong? Tell me that, what was wrong about
it? You wanted it, I wanted it, why was it wrong?" Lindsey couldn't
think of answer. She was silent for some time before replying.
" Because I was upset and confused. Callum please understand"
he walked away from her and sat back down on the bed " Callum I just
wanted to feel loved and you gave me that. I-I know it looks like I used
you, but it-it wasn't that at all" she dropped on her knees before
him so that she could look at him properly " Callum you made me happy,
you made me feel like I was really wanted for a change, no ones ever gave
me that feeling before"
" So why run away now?" Callum asked quietly.
" Because, because I have a daughter Callum and I can't bring her
out here to live with someone she’s never met before in her life"
" Kylies seen me before" Callum remembered Kylie, Jimmy was
drying her hair when Callum turned up to announce that he had Lindsey
and would kill her if Barry didn't disappear.
" That was a different you though, that was a you who was holding
her mother hostage and threatening to kill her, remember?"
" Yeah, but I gave her a teddy" Callum replied smiling down
at her, he knew he couldn't change her mind.
Continued Next week.......
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