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CHAPTER: 13 LOOKING BACK
Lindsey returned home and instantly remembered what she had been planning
to do when Jackie had asked her downstairs for a coffee and a chat about
what really happened in Portugal. As she remembered she ran upstairs,
she knew they were in the loft somewhere.
Lindsey pulled herself up into the loft with a strength she didn't know
she had, a strength that came entirely from determination to have something
of Callum. She dug through boxes of family albums and baby memoirs. In
one box she found her first pair of shoes, she smiled as she found baby
photos. Then she found one box full of her brother's possessions. Her
eyes filled with tears as she found a picture of her and Jimmy jr. together.
Then her face lit up as she spotted the Reebok shoe box, she knew she
had found what she was looking for. She seized the box, taking a quick
glance inside to make sure that she had really found what she was looking
for.
She carefully managed to lower herself back out. She immediately dashed
back to her bedroom with the box cradled in her arms. Once there she sat
on her bed and eagerly opened the box. She was instantly greeted by a
packet of photos. She grabbed the packet out of the box and, almost shaking
with anticipation, removed the photos.
There were images of Callum everywhere, going into clubs, meeting up with
people, shaking hands with people, doing his collection round, there were
pictures of everything. The pictures had been taken by a hitman that she
had hired to kill Callum. At the time she had been devastated that Callum
had discovered the hitman and killed him first, but now relief washed
over her at the thought. The pictures had been sent to her shortly after
she and Jimmy had discovered the dog collar and note reading ' Victor
vanquished'. She had never told anyone about the pictures, Jimmy had been
worried enough as it was at the time, she never did understand why she
kept them but now she was glad she had.
As she remembered this she began to look back on her and Callum’s
history together. She remembered how after the hitman had been killed
Callum had payed her a visit shortly after with a woman companion. Her
memory of the beating was patchy, she only remembered certain parts of
it. She remembered Callum sitting back by the kitchen table as the woman
proceeded, she then in that second remembered how he hadn't watched it.
Then she remembered how he had visited her in hospital afterwards, she
remembered how he leant very close to her and stroked her face. She remembered
how he stood in the doorway, she hadn't noticed him, then he had spoke:
“ I knew I'd get you into bed eventually” Then she remembered
how he had sent a bunch of flowers with a note attached simply reading
' Tell me where it hurts, I'll kiss it better'
She sighed at the memory, but now as she thought back, she realized
just how suggestive and flirty Callum had been with her, he had even kissed
her, he had never tried to keep it a secret from her that he had fancied
her, that had been clear from the start when he had kidnapped her. As
she thought back she remembered their conversations.
“ Would you like something else to wear?” Callum had asked her.
“ What do you think!” Lindsey had snapped in reply.
“ We'd better figure out your size first” he had gone to touch
her and she slapped his hand away.
“ Ooh, Mel Gibson keep you nice and warm in bed does he?” Callum
was referring to Barry Grant. Suddenly he grabbed her and pulled her back
towards him “ I would, I wouldn't even let you fall into the hands
of someone like me, tut, tut, tut, careless that” Lindsey had instantly
turned on him. She spun to face him.
“ Look you, I really don't give a shit what you think. Now if you're
going to do something do it, huh if you can, I've had worse than you in
my time, now either get it up or shut up!” Lindsey regretted that
now.
Lindsey now sitting on her bed smiled at the thought, she now knew that
he could 'get it up'. She wondered yet again whether or not things would
have been different between them if she'd actually replied in kind on
the rare occasions that he had tried to be friendly. She remembered the
very first moment that she had seen him when they dragged her into the
abandoned club.
“ Hey, hey, hey, a living legend” he had exclaimed, as at the
time she had been done up as Cher.
Lindsey remembered the first time he had suggested sleeping with her,
Lit had came after she slapped him. He had seized her and held her back
very close to his chest as he whispered in her ear.
“ I've never screwed a superstar before, no even a pretend one, so
you just cool it okay” with that one of Callum's strong-arms had
forced her into a chair.
The moment Lindsey remembered clearest was when she had gone to attack
Benny. Callum had stopped her and pinned her against a wall.
“ Leave it out” he spoke as he blocked her from hitting Benny
then pinned her against the wall. He brushed her hair out of her face
as he spoke “ There’s nae need for this no, if you want my body
you only have to say so”
Lindsey wondered what he would have done if there and then she had
said she wanted him, she wondered if he would sent Benny away and made
love to her there and then. She sighed deeply and put the photos back
in the packet. If only at that time she knew what she knew now. If only
she had known what would have happened with Barry, if she had known she
would have gladly let Callum kill him.
She suddenly remembered the moment that she swung the plank of wood at
Callum, she had almost hit Barry, now she wished that she had missed Callum
and hit Barry instead.
“ Lindsey love! You up there?” it was Jimmy.
“ Damn” she muttered to herself, she had forgotten that they
were going out for a meal “Yeah I'm here, what time is it?”
she was no where near ready.
“ You've got an hour and a half yet, I'm just making sure that you
haven't forgotten” Jimmy called back from the foot of the stairs.
“ I haven't, I'm just deciding what to wear” Lindsey replied
as she made a dive for her wardrobe, she didn't have a clue what to wear.
She wondered what Callum would be like if he was waiting to take her out,
she wondered if he'd be much use at helping her decide. “ Stop it!
For christ sake Lindsey!” she again had to berate herself. “
Ah Jesus” she thought as she realized that Jackie had persuaded Shelley
to come out with them tonight. Lindsey deep down would prefer a night
in with Kylie, they were really beginning to drift apart as Lindsey was
spending more and more time alone, brooding.
CHAPTER: 14 ALMOST CAUGHT
They got a taxi to the Blue Sky restraunt, Jimmy and Jackie had been
wanting to go for a long time now, Lindsey had made up her mind to try
and get on with Shelley even if it was only so that she wouldn't spoil
her parents night out. They strolled into the restraunt looking like a
happy family, if only people could see beneath the surface of their oscar
winning act. Lindsey didn't know about the others but inside herself she
was screaming, she just wanted to tear away. She didn't know what from
but she knew that she wanted to get away, just get away from Brookside
Close and everyone that knew her. She wanted to take Kylie and run away
to a place where no body knew her or her story.
Callum had decided that it was time to go and see Joe. He knew that
if he went to see Joe, he would get the help he needed to deal with Barry
and a free meal at his restraunt. Joe had been bearing a grudge against
Barry Grant for some time, and Callum knew that if he caught Barry he
could turn him over to Joe and Joe would deal with him in his own way.
Callum didn't really care what Joe did with him, just as long as he was
rid of him and Lindsey was safe.
Callum was let in through the back door where Joe was trying to get
his new Chef organized.
“ Hi Callum, I'll be with you in a minute” Joe called from the
utility cabinet where he was showing the Chef where to find everything.
“ Its okay, I'm in no rush” Callum smiled, he liked Joe. Joe
was one of the only gangsters left in the business who still believed
in loyalty and honour, unlike most of the up and coming gangsters who
are out for themselves and are willing to screw anyone over as long as
they profit from it. Only problem with these people was the fact that
more often than not they would try and screw over the wrong person and
would be done over themselves.
“ Right if you have any problems Toms just over there, he'll give
you a hand, okay?”
“ Yeah sure” the new Chef looked nervous, it was a bad night
to be just starting, Callum had seen how many were in when he drove past.
The Blue Sky restraunt was one the most popular on the Parade and it was
always packed.
“ Right Callum, how you doing? Lets go out front and I'll get you
a drink, I'd offer you a meal but as you can see we are absolutely stowed
off tonight” Joe put an arm over Callum’s shoulder and lead
him out to the main bar.
“ That’s fine, I just stopped by for a chat as I'm sure you're
aware of” Callum said turning to the bar to order his drink.
“ Yes I'm aware of that, and I think I already know what about”
Joe replied signalling for one of the barmen.
“ What can I get you sir?” the barmen was one of the older,
longer serving men who Callum recognized from previous visits.
“ A bottle of our best malt and two glasses please” Joe was
always polite to his staff, this was on the basis of the fact that if
they liked you they were more likely to stay loyal.
“ Thanks” Callum smiled at the barman in a friendly enough way.
The barman smiled back, clearly pleased by the fact that his service genuinely
seemed appreciated.
“ Right so what was it you wanted to talk to me about?” Joe
asked pouring the drinks.
“ As I'm sure you're aware of by now Barry Grant has made his return”
Callum spoke calmly and appeared relaxed enough, but inside he was raging,
he couldn't wait for the confrontation, he couldn't wait to save Lindsey
from almost certain death.
“ Yeah I'd heard rumours but they haven't been confirmed yet”
“ Well they are now. I came here because I wanted to know if you'd
be interested in getting rid of him for me, now don't worry, your hands
needn't get dirty, I'll get him and have him delivered for you, how’s
that sound?” Callum looked at Joe and Joe couldn't hide the delight
in the thought of finally disposing of his enemy.
“ That’s sounds great, I think we should drink to that”
Joe saluted Callum with his glass and Callum returned the gesture. Callum
though never got round to taking a drink. He froze as he saw her.
Lindsey had agreed to go to the bar as Shelley had refused the bottle
of champagne that they had all agreed on. Shelley had decided that she
wanted a Pernod and Black. Lindsey stood by the bar waiting for one the
barmen to be free to serve her.
Callum stared at her, he couldn't move, he had been paralyzed to the core.
He looked her up and down, she was wearing a long flowing black silk dress.
She looked radiantly beautiful. It was hard to remember that they had
been deadly enemies for so long. Callum nearly fell off his stool as she
glanced up the bar in his direction. Joe eyed him curiously.
“ Is something wrong?” he asked frowning.
“ No, just someone I'd rather didn't know about me been back over
here. I'd better shoot off, I'll give you a call when I'll be dropping
him off, you just choose where you want it to be, I'll get him there okay”
Callum was clearly itching to get away.
“ Sure that’s fine, just let me know when its going to be”
Lindsey took a second look up the bar. She spotted a man walking towards
the staff only section. She stared hard, he was the same height, had the
same hair style, even seemed to walk the same way as Callum. She watched
rising from the stool that she had perched herself on. She began to move
forward, she was sure it was him. He turned about to go through the doors.
As he turned a glass collector cut in front of Lindsey. By the time she
got past he was gone. She cursed almost out loud before turning back to
the bar. Finally she got served and very reluctantly returned to the table
where Shelley was waiting impatiently as usual.
“ You took your time” Shelley commented, making no attempt to
hide the awkward tone in her voice. Lindsey calmly keeping a tight rein
on her emotions stood up.
“ I'm going to the toilets” Lindsey spoke slowly, she was ready
to explode at any moment and the strain was obvious in her voice. She
quickly dashed off, almost running to the bathroom.
Once there she locked herself in a cubicle and dissolved into tears. Jackie
quietly opened the door to the toilets.
“ Lindsey?” her voice was low and quiet. Lindsey quickly dried
her eyes and made a feeble attempt at cleaning her face up before emerging.
When she did Jackie felt overwhelmed by sorrow for her daughter “
Oh Lindsey love, come here” Jackie comforted her daughter. They heard
the door open and stepped back from each other to see who it was. Lindsey
turned away in what seemed like disgust as Shelley crept into the toilets.
“ Can I talk to you Lindsey?” Shelley asked quietly, but there
was no remorse or regret in her voice, also Lindsey noticed the way in
which Shelley was looking at Jackie. Jackie turned and looked at Lindsey
pulling a face of disgust with Shelley, Lindsey smiled slightly.
“ Well even if I say no you'll still talk so what’s the point”
Lindsey walked to the sink and began to clean herself up in front of a
mirror.
“ I'll leave you to it” Jackie spoke as she made her way to
the door.
CHAPTER: 15 FALSE APOLOGIES & TRUE EMOTIONS
“ I'm sorry I was so bitchy, I know the bar was busy” Shelley
came towards Lindsey putting a hand on her shoulder, Lindsey instantly
shrugged it off.
“ Yeah I'll bet you are” it was Lindsey’s turn to be bitchy.
“ Look I know we haven't been right since that holiday....”
Shelley began but Lindsey instantly jumped in.
“ We weren’t right before the holiday, what happened there just
made it worse” Lindsey snapped.
“ Yeah well you were the one dancing with murderers and rapists”
Shelley snapped and instantly regretted it as she saw Lindsey’s eyes
glitter with an anger she had never witnessed before. Lindsey immediately
seized hold of that anger for only god knows what she could have done
to Shelley if she didn't.
“ Is that what this is about, cos I danced with someone, oh come
on Shelley it was only a bit of fun”
“ Oh yeah it looked so fun to me. In fact no, it looked like more
than fun to me” Shelley retorted and Lindsey knew deep down inside
of herself that this would be the showdown, this would end it all, this
argument would decide her future with Shelley.
“ Oh come on Shelley don't be so pathetic, I had one dance with him”
Lindsey didn't want to go through this, Shelley wasn't aware of how much
the memories of Callum burned Lindsey.
“ Lindsey you were dancing with a man who has.......” Lindsey
immediately stopped her.
“ Don't you dare try and remind me of what he’s done! do you
think I've forgotten!? well I haven't, not one little detail” Callum
winced as he sat perched below the open window, he could hear every word.
“ Lindsey it's not just the fact that you danced with him, it’s
the way you danced” Shelley appeared close to tears, Lindsey wondered
if she had realized that this would be the end too.
“ Oh God is that what this is about? The way we danced” Lindsey
couldn't believe that an argument over something so stupid was about to
call the end to their relationship.
“ Lindsey it looked like something out of Dirty Dancing for gods
sake. You were all over each other. It looked arousing to me god knows
how it must have actually felt” Lindsey and Callum both smiled, they
had both felt the sparks during that dance, even though at the time Lindsey
had tried to push it to one side.
“ It didn't feel like anything Shelley, it was a dance, one dance.....”
Lindsey was cut short by Shelley. Callum though was hurt by her words,
what if none of it had meant anything to Lindsey? What if everything she
was saying to Shelley was true.
“ I'm not stupid Lindsey! I saw the look in his eyes” Callum
sat up at this and listened intensely “ they sparked the second you
touched him”
“ Yeah maybe you're right, he does fancy me that’s no secret”
Suddenly a sly smile spread across Lindsey’s face “ In fact
I'll tell you something, he loves me, that’s no secret and I know
its true, you want to know how I know that?” Shelley looked at Lindsey
“ Because I felt that love, I felt that love the night before we
came home, and have you any idea how close I was to staying with him,
because I'll tell you something Shelley no one has ever made me feel that
wanted, that loved like he did and I'll tell you a secret now Shelley
that feeling is mutual”
Callum nearly collapsed and had to grab the window ledge to steady
himself, Lindsey had just said that she loved him, he couldn't believe
it, suddenly he felt as though as he couldn't breathe properly, his breath
caught in his throat and he found himself gasping, unable to breathe properly.
“ You’re crazy you know that Lindsey, you’re crazy and
you’re a slut” Shelley was about to walk out when Lindsey spoke.
“ No Shelley I'm not a slut, you are, I mean god at least I'm only
sleeping with one person and while I was with that person at least I wasn’t
having an affair with their mother, and I only love one person, its just
a shame I didn't realize while I was still in Portugal” Callum didn't
trust his legs by this point, he wanted to stand up but he couldn't, but
did he hear right? Did Lindsey say Shelley was having an affair with Jackie.
Then the doubt hit him, what if she was only saying it to make Shelley
mad? What if it was just a spur of the moment thing in all her anger?
Callum flopped back against the wall, he was confused, very confused.
He now no longer knew if staying hidden from Lindsey was such a good idea
after all. He shook his head and forced himself, shakily, to his feet.
He glanced through the window before walking away. Lindsey was leaning
over a sink crying. She had done nothing to improve her situation, she
was now more confused than ever.
Continued Next week.......
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